I am writing this as a sort of cathartic endeavor. I'd be interested in what you men and women here on the Nexus feel about this.
Recently I signed up for Facebook and enthusiasticly went about trying to re-connect with long-lost friends/schoolmates. I found a dear friend of mine, contacted her and she accepted my friendship. We made plans via phone to meet each other once I returned to visit my hometown of Brooklyn, NY earlier this month. I guess subsequently she took a look at my profile and noted that I am a self-proclaimed Atheist, Humanist,Naturalist. From here you all can surmise what happened next. She officially unfriended me. I am hurt, but not really surprised. I thought that my stance would not be an issue as I don't really knock anyone for what they choose to believe in.
Fellow A/Ners, have you experienced similar reactions or have you stayed in the proverbial closet out of not wanting to cause distruption in your life? I'm very interested in knowing. How do we become mainstream or close to mainstream, or simply not seen as people more terrible than Freddie Kruger, Ted Bundy, and Predator combined? WWJD if he existed? Lord Krishna hear my plea! LOL, yet bruised.

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Replies to This Discussion

LOL! You are hilarious. Sunday naps are the best!!
especially when they "catch the holy ghost" and start wailing and flopping around like dying fish.
The only annoyance I have is that other black people automatically assume I belong to a church.
To discombobulate black folk who always ask me which church I go to I automatically say I go to a Hindu Temple, or Shinto Temple. I love to see their reactions. HaHaHa.
I am a Black atheist man who lives in El Paso, Texas. It is X-mas time... X-mas eve to be exact. My wife and I will be hosting X-mas dinner for a few friends/former neighbors in less than 24 hours. We recently bought and moved into a new home. We purposely had one of the bedrooms converted into a library by the builder. In this library I have hundreds of various books and college texts. I also have dozens of freethought/humanist/skeptic/atheist books on the shelves (Dawkins, Smith, Hecht, Barker, Mills, Shermer, Ali, Eller, Randi, Hitchens, Jacoby, etc). I don't know what our guests will say when we give them a tour of our new home, they see the books, and I inform them that I am an atheist. I will let everyone on this thread know what happens. But, like Nate said, "What is the point of living a lie?" I do know that I have told members of my family about my atheism and they choose not to bring up the subject. But when they do bring it up, they are not kind. I am an active duty soldier in the U.S. Army. When I was deployed to Iraq a few years ago I wrote my sister about the horrific things I had experienced and seen. When she told her husband (my brother-in-law) he replied, "I bet he believes in god now." Actually my experiences in Iraq have strengthen my views about the lack of a deity. As far as the soldiers I work with on a daily basis, I really have to know them well to tell them about my atheism. Usually when I do tell them it is no big deal... even for the strong Christians. We just agree to disagree.
You are soooo funny Cowgirl. Inquiring minds want to know Vernon! How did your dinner party go?!
I stopped living the lie over 19 years ago, and gradually introduced my stance to my Mom when my now 17 year old was born, my Mom was eagerly planning to attend his Christening. I clearly, yet respectfully stated to her that I was not having such a thing, and I explained to her why, yet she never really accepted my explanation. Then when I had my second son the subject came up again, and I had to come straight out with the A-word. It is just plain sad how I can't socialize with the greater number of my people without the fantasy of God/Religion creeping into the picture.
Secondly, I can appreciate a fellow bibliophile. I and my Husband have a dedicated home library as well, which causes only black folk who visit to murmur words of shock and disgust at the multitude of books. It is funny that whenever a non-black person visits our home, they get excited and proceed to open up intellectual discourses with us. Just my observation.
I must say that my experience of coming out of the closet has not been as bad as i was expecting. I was formerly a pentecostal preacher. I came out about 3 years ago after finding out all of it is big lie for money and power. I haven't lost any friends while they do think i'm nuts or just going through a "phase". The biggest challenge comes form my wife and mom. My mom puts its off and acts like nothing is wrong. Every once in a while she will ask me how church is going, I respond with "you know I dont believe". She says she forgets. Whatever!! I dont know how my marriage has lasted, and i dont believe it will be much longer before my wife realizes this isnt a phase and we separate. But i agree, what is the point of living a lie. I couldnt take it anymore, the lies, the jockeying for power and more money. Its all a sham.

One last point...lets not judge others or lump ppl into one category group. I'm a police Lt and i dont think I'm Closed minded. Ppl are ppl...we as humans can be open or closed minded.
I am grateful that there are intellectually honest, and open-minded officers of the law out there serving and protecting.
I have been on this enlighten journey away from organized religion toward agnosticism and free thought for the past three years and I applaud the courage of each person that can act on truth in spite of potential ridicule and being ostracized. After discovering the truth about Christianity and other religions, it wasn't difficult for me to stop the madness. But I was in need of knowing other people that understood this position and that is why this group and other similar ones are so important to assist with sustainability. I live in Houston, TX away from most of my family except for a cousin whom I seldom communicate with. Since March of this year when I sent out an essay expressing my position that reached most of the family and some friends, I have been deleted from the family email list for the ones that advertise the goodness of god. Most of the friends are very reluctant to discuss the subject.

The essay and from the encouragement of my daughter lead me to write a book (my first), "The Only Prayer I'LL Ever Pray: Let My People Go", that has just become available. For information go to and it is available at Amazon, and Barnes and Nobles. I am anxious to get their reaction now and especially at the family reunion coming up in July 2010. It is about my evolution away from religion and why I think blacks in America should pursue life without it.

It can be lonesome but we must be willing to share our viewpoint and not be held hostage to their delusion. I am constantly looking for more people, especially black people, in my area to build relationships. The world needs us. Writing has been a benefit although I am not much for blogging.
Congrats. I'll add this web site to my web guide.
Thanks Ralph



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