If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

If you want to talk about cancer.

We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

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Latest Activity: Nov 26


Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

Discussion Forum

Metastasis Visualized

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Daniel Wachenheim Jun 27. 3 Replies

This video makes it easier to grasp how metastasis occurs.Continue

Tags: metastasis, cancer spread

Sean Parker to Donate $250,000,000 to Fight Cancer

Started by John Jubinsky. Last reply by Michael Penn Apr 13. 1 Reply

Billionaire Sean Parker who was the first president of Facebook and a co-founder of Napster will donate $250,000,000 to fund immunotherapy research to fight cancer. This type of therapy fights cancer…Continue

New Hope for Hard-to-Treat Cancers

Started by Qiana-Maieev. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Apr 7. 2 Replies

Ancient Algae Offer New Hope for Hard-to-Treat CancersPosted: 06 Apr 2016 01:57 PM PDTIn one of the oldest life…Continue

A Personal Cancer Blog

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Comment by Joan Denoo on October 13, 2016 at 2:25pm

You are right, Qiana. I don't need his rages either! 

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on October 13, 2016 at 2:17pm

You have to follow his wishes in something like this, & rages he doesn't need.

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 13, 2016 at 1:53pm

We settle into a new normal in our household. Craig came from Colorado to say "Goodbye" to his older brother, Cary. We keep the environment a happy one, with lots of smiles, affirmations, positive feedback for Cary. We all know it is a fake happy place, but we do it for me; I tend to wilt in negative environments.

To bring everyone up to date, Cary had a bad cough since last spring. The neighbors and I tried to get him to go to a doctor, he refused. In mid-Sept.Laura and Larry persuaded him to go and Laura went with him. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer that spread to his lymph glands, lungs, stomach, and brain. He was given a month to live. It has now been five weeks. 

I make a small batch of soup using a different vegetable each day, I put them through a food processor, the blender and then a fine sieve. I pour them into small freezer jars and freeze all but one jar. Each day he has a choice of four or five different vegetable soups. 

He had a feeding tube put in; he wanted Laura to take him and learn the process of maintaining the formulas, tubes, and hygiene. He doesn't want me fussing over him, so I expect to be expending much energy writing and staying out of his way. 

I called an old family friend and asked him to come by; he was like a father to Cary when we first moved here in 1974-5. Cary came down to see him and asked him not to stop by any more. Cary wants no company. I guess I would't either if I were facing a certain death. 

Cary is in excruciating pain, is now terribly constipated. I haven't called the doctor because Cary goes into a rage when I make suggestions or take any action. Others do the interventions for me. I suggested to him that he is on hydrocortisone and that is what put me into the hospital after my fall and multiple fractures. He raged at me for intruding.

Cary just informed me that the doctor said to stop the pills and drink more water. 

Well, I guess he does listen to me, after all. 

Comment by k.h. ky on September 22, 2016 at 10:28am
I should have said she may be using cannabis. It isn't legal here :(
Comment by k.h. ky on September 22, 2016 at 10:26am
Oh Joan. I am so, so, sorry. Cannabis is the best appetite stimulant and comes in many forms. Even the drops for use under the tongue. Or so I've read. Thankfully it's available in your area. Many can be THC free. I would strongly suggest checking with a dispensary. A dear friend of mine has been using it, during this last battle with cancer, and she swears it helps more than any prescription meds that have been tried. You know you're in our thoughts. Good energy coming your way. With hugs.
Comment by Grinning Cat on September 22, 2016 at 9:18am

Joan, ((((((hugs!)))))) as you and Cary go through this!

Comment by Daniel Wachenheim on September 22, 2016 at 8:23am

Joan, it's a tough row to hoe.  Your spirit of always stopping, analysing what the situation is, thinking of the options, and forging ahead, will help you tremendously.  You do have to take care of yourself as much as take care of him.  Cancer is a companion to many of us, an unwelcome and uninvited companion.

About half of cancer patients have cachexia - loss of appetite leading to major weight loss like Cary's.   It's not just mechanical obstruction of the esophagus, although that is an issue too.  Cancers produce substances that deter appetite, including cachexin, interferon, and interleukin-6.

The pureed foods and milkshakes are definitely good choices.  For many years, cancer cachexia has been one of the only medically well accepted legitimate uses for marijuana.  There are also a couple of other medicines, but one is a hormone that really doesn't help muscle mass - megestrol - which adds fat, not muscle.  The other is a derivative of marijuana, but that is expensive and I  am not aware that it is anyh better than marijuana (drobaanol / Marinol).  At local marijuana dispensaries, they should be able to tell you which products are best able to stimulate appetite without getting him high, or at least not too high.   Google search identifies several marijuana dispensaries in Spokane.  

This site is a reasonably good summary of foods and other advice.  One thing is at this point, not to worry about fats being unhealthy.  Fats also carry flavors that stimulate appetite.  So adding butter or tasty oils to foods is a good approach.  The puddings and various types of shakes, are good ideas.

I am with you in spirit, in my thoughts.  You know what I mean by that, nothing supernatural, but with caring and support.

s in Spokane.

Comment by Idaho Spud on September 22, 2016 at 7:58am

Sad news Joan.  Hope they can treat him successfully.  Sorry you have to leave the place you love the best.

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on September 22, 2016 at 7:10am

Joan, I'm so sorry to hear of your son's condition. We found out this past spring that my brother has the same diagnosis.

Comment by Plinius on September 22, 2016 at 4:21am

Shocking news, Joan!


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