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Cancer

If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

If you want to talk about cancer.

We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

Members: 20
Latest Activity: Jul 28

Cancer

Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

Discussion Forum

Living interminably with terminal cancer

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by Joan Denoo Jul 28. 4 Replies

Psychology Today"Extraordinary advances have turned cancer from an apparent death sentence into…Continue

Tags: cancer

Transmissible Cancer

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by theburningmonk Apr 10. 1 Reply

Leukemia spreads in the ocean among soft-shell clams. This is the fourth example of natural cancer transmission in animals.…Continue

Tags: contagious cancer

A Personal Cancer Blog

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Comment by Joan Denoo on June 24, 2014 at 12:39am

Oh! dear Trixie, your is bad news, indeed! I am very sorry to learn that your husband and friends don't seem to "get it"! Having a 10 year old son with severe autism makes the need for health vitality important. Yes, he does need you and with your fatigue and radical medical surgery, there is just not the energy one needs to meet all your challenges. Being 35 does not bring comfort, knowing the unpredictable nature of this dread disease.

I am 78 years old and I have two cousins who had breast cancer. Thankfully, we all survived the treatment and have clear follow-up exams.

Before getting diagnosed, one feels so invulnerable, but the mere mention of the word puts everything into a new frame.  

One day at a time, wake up grateful to have another sunrise, and go to sleep thankful for one more day. I don't know how else to face this. Each moment is precious, especially in your situation. There are so many feeling that emerge: fear, anger, worry, helplessness, loneliness and these seem to creep in at unexpected moment. Joy, pleasure, gratitude, solace, and equanimity take deliberate effort. 

Early on, I made up my mind that cancer does not define me and I intended to be happy as much as possible. When sadness did invade, I welcomed it as a sign that I was not being Pollyannish about this. I faced a life threatening disease. 

Our age difference makes a big in contrast in how we experience cancer. In another month my sixth great-grandchild is due. I feel sad that I may not be around too much longer to see them grow and develop. Your encounter with cancer comes at a stage of your son's development that means there is more at stake. I have no answer to offer, and not even an idea that might reassure you. I can tell you that I hear your loneliness, and so do the others who read your comment. You are not alone. Even though we are virtual friends, we are steadfast and able to listen to whatever you want to express. We are here for you.

This is a corny gesture, but I just want to send you a little beauty to brighten your day. Please forgive the unoriginal thought. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 23, 2014 at 11:10pm

I forgot to mention my surgical team who worked miracles. 

Be sure to read Sentient's cancer blog. He gives in so many ways, always a gentle and insightful one to maintain perspective. His "14 months and counting" tell the truth about his journey, no holds barred. No pretenses. No phony platitudes. 

My thoughts are with you and welcome to the Atheist Nexus Cancer group. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 23, 2014 at 11:00pm

Trixie, I know what you mean, several of us had diagnoses of cancer about a year and a half ago, and Sentient Biped started this group for support. The support of people who had been through the processes joined in to walk us through the difficult experiences, always reminding us that they survived the treatments and are alive to tell their stories. 

Having good professionals helping you make decisions provides incredible comfort, and those who have had the diagnosis and treatment provide emotional support.

I started thinking in terms of teams. My medical team gave me information and research to help make decisions, and provided the treatments that had the highest probability of killing the cancer cells. My family team gathered around me with great devotion and love, my great-grandchildren team kept me company when I wanted it and made me laugh, my neighbors team dropped off notes or little bites of things they thought might taste good (nothing did), my professional chefs team helped concoct things that had nourishment and would stay inside me instead of flushing through, my hair care team help make me feel acceptable as all the hair on my body fell off, my pharmacy team helped me find things that helped me not feel so icky, any of course, my Atheist Nexus team was available night and day to encourage me and inspire me. As the year wore on, as my chemo team reassured me, my radiation team supplied me with salves and ointments, as each protocol was completed, and as I began to feel human again, I felt I had faced the challenge the very best ways possible and now am almost fully recovered. I could only do a few things each day, and slowly my strength came back.

Each one of us had different ways of coping and we can offer ideas that you can try. If they help, great; if not, well we are here to hear your joys and fears, your hopes and disappointments, your determination and your hopelessness. One day at a time, one minute at a time, just to keep a small, wee spark of hope alive, you, too, will make your journey doing the best you can. We make this passage with you. You are not alone.   

Comment by Daniel W on June 23, 2014 at 10:42pm

Hi Trixie,

This group was created for people like you and me and the others here.

You are right, cancer hits hard and fast.  Lots of time getting poked and prodded and scanned and injected and other stuff.

There is some experience here.  We want to help.

Comment by Daniel W on May 21, 2014 at 8:57pm

Same here.  Patricia I'm cheering for you!

Comment by Dr. Terence Meaden on May 21, 2014 at 6:01pm

HURRAAAAAY from me too, Patricia.

Comment by Idaho Spud on May 21, 2014 at 5:42pm

Glad to hear your good news Patricia.

Comment by Joan Denoo on April 16, 2014 at 10:49pm

Strength in numbers: How three little girls with cancer are inspiri...

Rylie, 3, has kidney cancer;

Rheann, 6, has brain cancer

Ainsley, 4, has Ainsley leukemia.

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 5, 2014 at 2:28pm

Just keep swimming.  Something Joan is very good at.

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 5, 2014 at 2:27pm

Thanks G Cat and Joan.  Could hardly see most of them for the tears.  My favorite uses a quote from one of my favorite movies:

 

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