Hmmm. This is the eternal question! Frankly, I would not, or should I say cannot see myself marrying a religious zealot. If someone is mildly spiritual or religious and I am really into the person, then.....we may have an extended engagement. Haha. Just my thoughts.
Concerning children: I say hell no to any one who is spiritual or religious. If I did have kids with them, trust me, it would be war on decisions such as school and education. I don't want any religious nut teaching my child and forcing the child to pray or read a stupid bible or other holy book.
Is it the eternal question? Sorry if you have been asked it before. And what exactly is an extended engagement!???? lol.
I suppose in an ideal world, religious preference should not matter once you are inlove with the person and care for them deeply. I know one couple who have been married for almost 30 years and the man is a seventh day adventist and the woman is a JW. Ask me how they managed to make that work. I have no idea! Realistically, however, a relationship with a religious zealot and an atheist can put some amount or serious strain on the relationship. And so, no, i am not interested in being with a bible basher.
If I choose to have children, I don't want anyone teaching them to pray, or to fear going to hell or whatever. I don't really know how to teach or not teach children about religion/s. I have never really given it thought. But since it takes 2 to have children, if and when that time comes, baby daddy and I will need to discuss how to approach that one.
Eternal Question = its a question I've heard on many many occasions, yet one that the answers do not come easy for.
In my experience with dealing with situations of opposing beliefs I tend to watch and see. I take things painfully slow (ie. "extended engagement"). And for that there may be some unexpected surprises. For example: if I am "checking" (dating) a christian girl I may wonder how far i can take things, and how soon. She may be one of those who want to remain pure for jesus of for their husband. Nothing wrong with that, but, sometimes I am surprised when a christian girl tells me that I am too "boring" or "slow" for not making a move on her. These are great "WTF" moments!
I think I am too old now to take things painfully slow. I prefer to get the religion talk out of the way from early...so I know where they stand on that issue. I just think I won't get all that time back, when my attention could be spent elsewhere.
i agree. i was talking about taking things slow in the event that things seem to be working out good. And I must confess, religion is one of the first things I discuss with any woman that catches my eye. It's not a very good way to get girls in the caribbean though, as most are very religious (unlike yourself) and feel that i may lead them to satan (not like their "sinful lives" aren't already doing that for them without my help)
Yea..I know what you mean. These women, alot of them would rather be with are 'reformed' drug dealer or contract killer than be with you. Sorry to be the one to break that to you. Unless you fall in either of those categories as well! Then ...it is kinda rough on you over there in Roseau.
I have a story. So my very goof friend said to me about 21/2 years ago that he has a friend that he thinks would be interested in me. So he will introduce us. I said ok, no problem. So we went on a date.
Date started out well...we had alot of things to talk about. Then:
Guy: What church do you go to? Me: I don't go to church Guy: Why? Me: I just don't do church Guy: But you used to go to church though? Me: Yes, all my life till about 2 yrs ago Guy:But you do believe in God right? Me: Uhhhhmmm...no....I don't know is there is a god Guy: So what do you consider yourself? Me: Agnostic bordering on atheist Guy: I bet its just a phase Me: Nope, trust me , its not Guy: Well I think its the devil that made us meet each other. You are not someone I need to be talking to at this point in my life. I need to sort out my relationship with god. You can't help me, you are too aligned with the devil. Me: OK.....
And he continues talking while i zone out and sip my cranberry juice. The date ended and that was that. I have not spoken to him since.
now after that i have one question: can i laugh? the conversation was funny. yet typical of christian backsliders. the end result is the same. they think you will lead them to the devil. all the other things they are doing s ok. they can dabble in fornication (as long as it's with a fellow believer), cheating (as long as it's with a fellow believer), stealing (as long as it's with a fellow believer). Agnostics and atheists are too hardcore! haha. i am betting i "sin" less now than i did when i was theist
Of course you can laugh. Yea...nothing is really wrong unless its done with a fellow believer AND you ask forgiveness for it very quickly after you do it.
Its not about sinning less though is it? Its about being a mature adult who is well rounded and makes informed decisions and accepts and lives with the consequences of these decisions. Not doing things and then thinking OH SH*T i should not have done that but god will forgive me anyways. And then next week you repeat the same thing.
exactly. its not about sinning. it's about being mature as you said. i can say that i feel much more responsible for my actions now that i know that some magic man can't make everything better if i totally FUBAR something or someone. so i think more about the consequences.
I say it's too much trouble. Agnostics are just about stretching it. Maybe a Pantheist or deist, but Christian and Muslim... TROUBLE, especially if you marry someone who is from the Caribbean. Theistic Caribbean people seem to be a little more entrenched and gullible.