Not really. I think that, initially, I felt angry- and there was this one thing that happened a few years back where, I was telling my mother about a program I'd watched on the book of Daniel (it was a history channel type thing). It explained how there were several "daniel" stories, but only one was selected to be included in the Bible- others were slightly different or included very different stories about the character. Anyway, I remember she sort of broke in and said- "Wendy, sometimes you can know too much"- and my blood literally ran cold.
Forget history, forget science- you can know too much. Until then I thought that the "knowledge" thing was limited somewhat to the creation story, and that it had more to do with 'knowing' how not to sin. Now I knew that it had to do with reality in general. Because my mother is not a foolish person on the whole, I felt that she had outed her doubts with this piece of advice and that she herself chose to ignore information that might be really there- and might disintegrate her faith in any way. She was suggesting that knowing 'truth' was 'too much'.
That made me angry.
But being raised the way I was was good in a number of ways. Because she was a single mom- and because my grandmother died suddenly at 55 (my family circle was mom, myself, and my grandparents), it was good to have people around that were like family. For the most part, our church was just a great, big family. There was a lot of kindness there, and I can honestly say, I haven't had the same experience with SDA churches since that time. Many of my growing-up-with friends have said the same.
It was a bubble- but a decidedly comforting one.
My parents believe Adventism is true with all their hearts. They don't doubt or not follow a stitch of it, at least without feeling some guilt. :) They're not completely vegan, for example, and they eat 3 meals a day, not two. My point is, that they were extremely consistent and unified, and still are, so it was a very secure childhood for me. I felt so special to have been "chosen" (I was adopted) and to have been given a shortcut to the truth.
With my dad as pastor, I was always at the social center of our little subculture, where I thrived. Even though my parents were traditional, totally buy EGW, etc. my dad was always a "hip" and fun pastor. During my teen years he drove a motorcycle, he encouraged a lot of fun social activities for his churches, such as game nights, and he would take the youth on backpacking and biking trips. (Likely including some of Andree's relatives when he pastored in Montana back in the 70's. My maiden name is Ostrander:))
I loved my childhood. I know my parents love me and believed they were doing the right thing.
But still, I've gone through the anger thing and still have flares from time to time. So much wasted time and money. I wanted to dance and do theater as a child and wasn't allowed to. I've missed out on so many classics in every category. I'm struggling to catch up in the sciences. I set up a marriage and style of parenting based on a more traditional women's role that's taking work to renegotiate and mend.
In many ways I'm mad at myself for not seeing the light earlier, and in other ways I'm amazed that I "escaped". I was so thoroughly indoctrinated. When I go back to visit my parents, it strikes me how saturated their lives are with Adventism. There are clues in every room of the house - their music, their TV shows on 3ABN, their books, their magazines, the food in the kitchen, even the art on their walls.
It really makes me mad to think about some of the things I was taught - that people who are atheists and appear to live good lives are the most dangerous of all, for example. Just the other day on the phone, my mom said "This world is getting so wicked, I don't know that I ever want any great grandchildren."
I get angry/frustrated at them for being so gullible/duped, because it altered my entire life. The further I move away from Adventism, the less I think about it, as I rebuild my life with a new set of friends.
It is not too late! There are community theatres everywhere that would love to have you as a volunteer. Audtions are open to anyone. Go try out or start backstage doing props or costumes. You will love it. I've been doing theatre for that last 27 years since seeing my first play at age 26.
Yes, me too... good intentions don't change facts, don't change hurt. Just add an additional layer of feeling, that's all, for me.
That's pretty much the feeling here too, but for me, there is a LOT of hurt.
My in-laws do this- every birthday card is filled up with mini-sermon- sometimes not so mini. But they don't always wait for an occasion. They saw our Halloween pictures on facebook and I immediately received an anti- Harry Potter brochure (by someone who had obviously NOT read the books) and a pamphlet on the 'history' of Halloween that spent most of its printable surface screeching about the evils of celtic peoples, pre-Christianity. Well, that bothered me on two accounts: I'm of British/Welsh descent, and they are filipino (they find a lot of opportunities to diss white people/Americans, Europeans, etc...)- and then, well, hello- our family, our community, we're allowed to choose what we take part in, thank you very much..