This is something I have been thinking about lately. Do any of you feel angry? Misled? Or do you feel your upbringing was provided with generally good intentions?

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What a history! I'm so glad, though, that you were shaken up enough to get out of there sooner rather than later!

Christ, can you imagine. I would have grown out of TV so much faster if I had been allowed to watch it, just for one example. I would actually have a year 12 level education in every respect, not just in terms of maths and english, and I wouldn't have an incredibly fucked up sexuality either. Blah.

As far as resentment implies ill will, no, I'm not resentful about the way my parents raised me as a child. Yes, I was held back in a dozen ways, including intellectual, social, artistic, athletic, moral, and others. But I don't really feel they deserve too much blame. They sacrificed greatly to provide me with what their horribly religion-infected brains told them was the best possible upbringing. Certainly, I've wished a hundred times over things were different, but I can hardly hold that against them, regardless of how wrong they were.

But they were extremely wrong.

It wasn't until just two or three years ago that my mother came to the moral epiphany that all non-Adventists weren't either directly worshiping Satan or glorifying him through the worship of the Beast. Seriously. She literally believed that 6,970,000,000 of the planet's 7,000,000,000 people were under the control of supernatural evil forces bent on the destruction of God's faithful remnant. Think about the awful implications that sort of mindset has for someone's life!!!

No, my upbringing could have been worse of course, but it was still pretty awful in it's own way. That I don't hold against them. What upsets me, if anything, is that they make up stories for themselves as to why I'm not a Xian. Rather than accepting that the system isn't internally consistent, or even that that is my own subjective view of things, they bizarrely tell themselves I decided evolution was true and therefor god was false. It might be a good enough reason, I suppose, but for me, the whole thing fell apart internally and then I replaced it with something more consistent once the rubble was cleared. I guess they just feel more comfortable pretending it was knocked down by some outside force than that it crumbled on its own. But the weird denials and the "this is what you believe now!" are incredibly off putting.

Belly laughs on the second paragraph here. :)

Well said, Rhonda. I say live what you love. Theater for you?
BTW, were you SDA or SDA connected before you met your ex?

I feel resentful and angry sometimes. I feel that a huge chunk of my life was wasted. Honestly speaking, I feel like I should have enjoyed college more. I missed many many parties and school events because of my beliefs at the time. I turned down hot girls that were ready for sex. It even took me longer to graduate because I wouldn't attend classes on Friday nights or Saturdays during the day. I missed certain classes year after year because of this and it actually took me an extra year to finish my Bachelors degree. I missed job opportunities because I didn't want to work on Sabbath. In short, I could have had way more sex, could have finished school quicker, and could have taken advantage of certain job opportunities. So yeah, I'm a little pissed sometimes.

So sorry to hear that.  I'm a 12 year survivor of parochial school myself.  My fiancee and I were just talking about that this afternoon.  It's hard to believe how many states are opting for voucher programs now.  It's horrifying that the government is now paying for children to be abused like we were.  It's going to be like Ireland before long.

Absolutely.  It's not that I don't think I did okay with it, because in retrospect, I feel like I did really well.  But I would have had so many more resources, and I could have done really well so much easier, at a school that actually promoted critical thought and free inquiry.

I love this page. Nice to know I'm not the only one feeling all fucked up inside.

Hard to say.  Reading some of these accounts, boy am I glad I wasn't raised that deep into Adventism.  My father was raised Presbyterian, and even though my mother converted him to Adventism, half my extended family wasn't Adventist, so I wasn't entirely secluded.  In fact, though I'd never tell him, I can directly point to my father's influence in how I was able to figure things out for myself.  It wasn't that he was a 'bad Adventist', he just always gave me the impression that religion shouldn't be taken too seriously.  My mother on the other hand is completely hopeless.  Hardcore "God and Jesus are the only things that matter" mindset.

Am I resentful?  A bit.  It's hard coming into your own and trying to discover who you are amid such a repressive ideology.

I feel like this sometimes. Kind of like I did okay but that I could have achieved more in a different setting and with a different mindset.

Yeah you could say that. Anger, depression, isolation. These are a few of the gems that religion has brought to my life. After seventeen years of repressing my transgendered self and the social anxiety that has come out of that because so many religious people I knew have always been openly against and outraged by those kinds of people. Now after so long of avoiding myself I get to deal with my wife leaving me and the likelihood that I will only have a small part to play in our son's life. Not to mention a general uneasiness around most all of my family and their friends.

I can see that my religious indoctrination was probably done with good intentions, but that doesn't make it good or acceptable. Hitler believed his intentions were good and he was a fascist nut job. Intentions don't mean squat.

Ultimately with the consideration that these people think they are doing good, I can set my anger on more worthy obstacles and religion in general is only left with my disgust.




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