Last night I wangled an invite to a very private Fox News function.  The only people present were Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes.  A butler showed me into their rumpus room.  Bill was sitting on a leather chair and dressed up in outrageous drag, but Ailes was nowhere to be seen.  "Are you looking for Roger?" Bill asked me.  I nodded yes.  "He's in the bathroom enemizing."  Huh? I asked.  "Yeah, in a little while he wants me to fist him."  I could tell that Bill was taking plenty of ibuprofen mixed with herbal preparations rumored to cause men to grow breasts.  In a few seconds, he took out a long, lean, thin one and exhibited it. I asked if I could take a photo with my cell phone and he said "Of course, go ahead."  Here it is:

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