Last night I wangled an invite to a very private Fox News function. The only people present were Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes. A butler showed me into their rumpus room. Bill was sitting on a leather chair and dressed up in outrageous drag, but Ailes was nowhere to be seen. "Are you looking for Roger?" Bill asked me. I nodded yes. "He's in the bathroom enemizing." Huh? I asked. "Yeah, in a little while he wants me to fist him." I could tell that Bill was taking plenty of ibuprofen mixed with herbal preparations rumored to cause men to grow breasts. In a few seconds, he took out a long, lean, thin one and exhibited it. I asked if I could take a photo with my cell phone and he said "Of course, go ahead." Here it is:
Oh! My Goodness! How awful!