I am also post superstitions, post gender, and have named the American Humanists Association's LGBTQ work and a chapter of the ACLU in my will. I live on a small island outside the U.S. where there are no freethinkers/atheists/humanists and the few queers I've found here are self-loathing Christian "sinners." I'm working hard to find work in a more intelligent and friendly community.
So get out there and find, e.g., Unitarian Universalist events (most UUs don't go to Sunday services and most larger congregations have both sexual minorities and non-superstitious folks in abundance), ACLU events, HRC events, LGBTQ political events where there are plenty of us hell-bound heathens, etc.
At least there's no lack of LGBT atheists at An. :)