LGBTQI atheists, nontheists, and friends


LGBTQI atheists, nontheists, and friends

Nontheist lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex people & friends.

Location: International
Members: 623
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Welcome to Gay / LGBTQI Atheists & friends!

Discussion Forum

Epigenetics and sexual orientation

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Thursday. 0 Replies

Gaydar doesn't exist and it's bad?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Daniel W Sep 13. 2 Replies

Homophobia as pathology

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Sep 11. 0 Replies

The Trans Issue

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Denise Deiloh Sep 3. 4 Replies

Does Obama's gay advocacy exclude trans

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Joan Denoo Jun 27. 5 Replies

Betty Bowers on PRIDE

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Daniel W Jun 5. 1 Reply

Gay christians.

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by Gerald Payne May 13. 2 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Daniel W on November 26, 2011 at 3:33pm

I thought it was an interesting video.  I agree that personal taste does not equal an 'ism.  It's not a lot different from "I only like blondes" or "I only like hairy men" or "smooth men" or "I don't like men with tattoos".  These tastes do not equal "I wont hire" or "I won't live next door to" or "I wont buy/sell from/to".


It's interesting to hear what people say about their experiences of discrimination, and what they call discrimination, and what they don't.  I was reading online about ethnic food choices, and assumptions that people make, and thought, get over it, it's just foods.  On the other hand, I feel 99% sure I experienced discrimination in the work place, over several years, but no one will say "I mistreat you because you are gay" or "I mistreat you because you are male" so I wind up wondering if I was just paranoid.  But I don't think so.


I like watching videos on that web page, and wanted to share some of the diversity of experience and expression.  I will probably post more.  I would like to find comments about religious or non-theist aspects, but haven't found them yet.


Personally, I think he's very cute.


(Darren, my ex used to tell me about catching his grandparents in flagrante delicto on the couch.  He thought it was funny.  It gave him hope for a sexy old age :-)

Comment by Dominic Florio on November 26, 2011 at 3:20pm

Sure, there are many biggoted gay people, but the danger is that preference can be mistaken for some ism.  I am heavy set and I know that there are many who are not going to be attracted to me, but I do fine in the sex department.  It is hurtfull, not when somone is not attracted to you, but when people, gay or straight, feel that it is ok to comment on the appearance of someone else. 

I think Cory is an attractive guy, but I am not usually attracted to asians or black men.  I like whites and hispanics, but I'm also not generally attracted to people with red hair, but I don't have an actual rule.  It depends on the person.

When any group experiences a lot of prejudice and/or discrimination, it is sometimes difficult to separate those experiences from preference.  Years ago, a black man was trying to pick me up in a bar and I was very polite and told him that I was with friends.  He stated that it was because he was black.  Well it was, but not based on racism, it was based on the fact that I don't have a strong sexual response to black men.

It would never occur to me to judge his appearance or comment in a negative way about him, because of the color of his skin.  But, I am amazed over the insensitivity and lack of manners which some people exhibited when dealing with anyone who does not fit the "normal" standard of beauty.

Being a 52 yr old "bear" type, I often feel as if I'm treated as a fetish because I'm not 20, blonde, smooth, and a gym rat. All I can say is that we older more experienced men know things that those twinks haven't learned yet.  So there! 



Comment by Darren Taggart on November 26, 2011 at 3:07pm
Racism is the theory that the colour of someone's skin allows you to infer some behavioural trait or propensity. Not finding a white person or whatever unattractive isn't racist, any more than being gay is sexist; it's just a function of taste. That said it might seem a bit shallow for appearance to be a deal breaker. That said my grandparents kissing is gross...
Comment by Tenken on November 26, 2011 at 12:34am

Thanks for the video.  I didn't realize there was discrimination like that against "Asians."  To be completely honest, I never thought of them as people "of color," as the guy in the video referred to himself.  It's hard for me to blame people for not being attracted to people of color, as my attraction definitely has limits too.  Is it conditioned?  Probably.  Could it be overcome?  Perhaps, but I have no real desire to change even if it could.

Comment by Tenken on November 26, 2011 at 12:00am

Sentient, you can read into it what you want, but his words are exactly how I feel.  He doesn't just think "sexuality is diverse"; he thinks sexuality is so diverse that it can't be "reduced to binary terms."  Even in the time of our discussion on here, I have included links that attack the construct validity of dichotomous sexual orientation, which is exactly what Vidal has done.  It's kind of like pointing out the absurdity that anyone would be biologically exclusively attracted to one sex when sexuality is so complex.

For the record, I do see how a man of your faith could interpret it differently, as if sexuality is so complex that it cannot be accurately defined by singling out one attribute like sex.  Doing so might even be deceptive, but not necessarily untrue.

Comment by Gary F. Lord on November 25, 2011 at 11:48pm

Thank you The Nerd.  Just asked to be a member. 

Comment by Daniel W on November 25, 2011 at 9:08pm

Comment by Daniel W on November 25, 2011 at 8:52pm


Thank you for posting.  You are right, we get an interesting perspective looking at the past.  We still have progress needed ahead, but we have come so far....

Comment by Gary F. Lord on November 25, 2011 at 8:45pm

Hi all...first time I post here but watching these videos is making me feel not too bad about being teased in high school......really.  I can't believe that was the way it was back then.

Comment by Daniel W on November 25, 2011 at 7:25pm

The quote that I posted is not what you said.  Posting it again ""idal has consistently argued that the term "homosexual" has no validity, because human sexuality is too complex and diverse to be reduced to binary terms."  That does not state that he thinks all humans are bisexual.  It says he thinks human sexuality is diverse.  If he meant that he thinks all  humans are bisexual, he would say so - Vidal is nothing if not careful with his words.  Other than that correction, again, I won't be baited into that discussion again.


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