The 14 Worst Boobs in the History of Video Games
Luke McKinney
June 22, 2012 718,139 views

Breasts and video games are three of my favorite things (four if you count Total Recall), but things don't necessarily mix just because they're awesome. I also love martial arts and my testicles, but wouldn't want to combine the two -- even though the anatomical results are better than the breasts/gaming combo, because at least having my nuts mashed is physiologically possible.

In the old days this wasn't a problem, because people had to choose which kind of joystick they wanted to use every night. But now that people are allowed both extra lives and sex lives, we'd swear the games have gotten jealous. Game breasts have blown up like the Death Star: gigantically, ludicrously and causing men who know about the real things to say "There's no way that's physically possible."

I know they're not moons, but I can't stop staring.

Anita Sarkeesian recently launched a Kickstarter campaign to make a video series about how video games might have a problem with sexism. The comments she received proved her theory more correct than Oppenheimer's theory about atoms, except more violently and with even more flames and men who will never reproduce. Why do so many online gamers react to gender issues like Nazi kryptonite, a horrible thing that threatens their imaginary man powers? Why are some players less capable of healthy interaction with women than a circumcision scalpel? Because games do have massive problems with sexism. Often in pairs on the characters' chests. Video games treat breasts like real black holes: irresistible points that suck in anyone who comes near, yet don't obey the classical laws of physics.

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Replies to This Discussion

lol, great article. What can we say? Sex and violence sells. It's not just boobs that video games flaunt.   Check out this vid from the second Prince of Persia

She's pretty scantily clad for a woman from a region where most women cover up almost everything.

Btw, Lara Crofts pointy boobs were pretty bad!


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