I live in the bible belt. All day long I have hear about Jebus and how great he is. Jehovah's witnesses have the morning slot. If I leave my house after 7:30 am, there's a 50% chance I will run into one and they'll explain how the devil put dinosaur bones there to trick us. Then at work, I have to hear about the angels that had sex with people to create giants, how evolution is a "religion of nothingness", and the precedent set by the ill-fated, Tower of Babel.

Then there's my roommate. If each one of the religious highlights of my day was a colored lion, he would be Voltron. Here are a few of his gifts.

Why slavery happened in the US:

(I am african-american btw)

Me: The bible said slavery was cool, in both testaments. Why would god want any kind of slavery to happen at all?

Bob: Cause of y'alls wrongs.

Me: Our wrongs?

Bob: Yeah...

Why he only needs to know English:

Me: You ever thought about learning another language, just for fun?

(I studied Spanish for 8 years which means nothing, I'm not that good. No practicar.)

Bob: I don't need to learn any other language. That just does not appeal to me.

Me: Why not?

Bob: God divided us up and changed the languages for a reason. He obviously wants us to stay separate.


Those are always fun, but sometimes I worry. He also believes that when "Tribulation" begins, he will have a major role in it. He believes that's a good thing. But I've been working on my debating skills, and we've made progress. The sad/funny thing is he's not a bad person, but that Jebus juice has him fucked up.

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My friend and I got yelled at in grade school for singing "Mark the bald angel sings".


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