Ever decide that you wanted to read the whole bible, cover to cover, only to realize half-way through Deuteronomy that the darn thing is industrial-strength BORING?!? Well, never fear! America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, has done the Cliff's Notes version for those of us without the patience (or bullshit tolerance!) to wade through that unfortunate mess.
Sorry to say, due to time constraints, the business about boiling a lamb in its mother's milk was left out. Yes, I know you're horribly disappointed!
Have You Had YOUR Betty Today?
Betty Bowers triumphs again!!!!!!
I don't understand those that say it's great literature. Even as a believer, it never struck me that way. As you said, I found it industrial-strength BORING.
Actually, I think Mark Twain described it best: "...chloroform in print."
I believe that was Twain's reaction to The Book of Mormon, Gwaithmir:
All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few, except the elect have seen it or at least taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me. It is such a pretentious affair and yet so slow, so sleepy, such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print.
-- Mark Twain, Roughing It: A Personal Narrative
More may be found here.
Well, considering the fact that The Book of Mormon incorporates some passages from the KJV, and is just as ponderous a read, Twain's remarks are applicable to that book as well---in my opinion, anyway.
I actually read the Book of Mormon TWICE! Just like reading the Old Testament. In fact a large portion of the B of M is word for word from the book of Isaiah. I have met some who say it is a wonderful book. Do they say it out of peer pressure?
Near the end of my second time, I was struck twice with the realization that the book was a falsehood. It was written, and I say written, by a very intelligent man. Joseph Smith was lousy at banking (the bank he started flopped) but great at giving people hope, albeit a false hope. But none the less, like a placebo, it helped those in need of that kind of help.
Again I feel like the child who is the only to say, "But the Emperor isn't wearing any clothes."
Loren beat me to the reply that it was the Book of Mormon, however, I think it's true of the bible as well. Maybe he even said it about the bible as well.
Betty tells the truth!
And to think I've spent 30 YEARS studying it. What was I thinking?
I spent 50 years studying it, and I sometimes ask myself the same question. What was I thinking?
The best answer I can give is that in my childhood, I was brainwashed to think it was true and to think illogically when anything disagreed with it.
I don't regret knowing the bible better than Christians. I always try to keep it in mind not to get cocky. I would prefer to use my knowledge to actually help others no matter how tempting it is to say Oh yeah.....how do you like dem apples!!!!