Every month I do the typing and layout of the Events Calendar for The Pet Press, and every autumn I get a shitload of things like the following for Dog-tober....Gag me with a spoon!

Christians say that animals have no "souls", so what good does "blessing" them do ? 

"Nothing fails like prayer...cha-cha-cha!" 

Felaine  (Authentic Valley Girl)


Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 10 am  and 12 noon (in Spanish) the colorful traditional Blessing of the Animals will be held at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 14646 Sherman Way, Van Nuys, in the Courtyard, in celebration of the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. 

All parishioners and community members are invited to bring their pets and join in the blessing of God’s creatures that are so important in our lives. Each pet will be blessed by name and this will be a special time in which we will honor all living things and their contributions to our well-being. 

Holy Eucharist will follow the blessing. Refreshments will be served after the service. 

Pet Orphans of Van Nuys will join us. Please bring a clean towel or a toy for a dog or cat.

 St. Mark’s is located on Sherman Way, west of Van Nuys Boulevard on the south side of the street. There is plenty of parking. For more information call 818-785-4251.


Of course it's just a PR event to get more people to come to church....and put money in the offering plate.  Can you imagine the barking, yowling, squawking, etc during the Jesus-eating service?  Crazy!

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I'm tired and I'm slightly drunk, so I will keep this simple and to the point:

When the dumb-ass christians can actually QUANTIFY (everyone know the meaning of that word?!?) what a SOUL is, how to identify one, and exactly how it is that humans have them and dogs, cats, porpoises and chimpanzees don't, then I might deign to listen to what they have to say.

Until such time, said dumb-ass christians are blowing smoke ... and I don't mean out of their mouths.

I would love to read your slightly drunken explanation of what quantify means.  :D

Exactly Loren - right on target as usual. : )

I wonder if any of the pet souls are damnable, or even better, savable?  What if Angry FluffyFace Cat decides to eat Herby the Hamster at the dinner table?

I couldn't say, but there have been so many times when I've had to have a kitteh euthanized, and I get a mailbox full of those sappy "Rainbow Bridge" cards (and now there are "RB" emails! Gross!)...they make me so angry that I want to kick the senders. 

I know they mean well, but I also know that George Bernard Shaw said that's the worst thing you can say about somebody.

One of my best friends said she quit going to Sunday school (and church) when she was about 7 years old because the teacher told the class that their pets wouldn't go to heaven.

I remember watching a preacher tell a young girl (when asked about heaven) that god had a special place for pets.  That wasn't the answer the girl wanted, as she wanted her pets in heaven with her.  She started crying.  The whole thing was so dumb.

Yeah I've heard about the blessing of animals before - strange.

I always grit my teeth when I have to write one of those stupid blurbs for the Calendar.   I wonder why Lori (publisher/editor/writer) bothers with them because none of those churches buy ad space in the paper, they just want a free announcement.

A couple of years ago, one of them wrote their own blurb, and I left it just the way they wrote it because I thought it was hilarious.  It said something like, "Souvenirs. Refreshments. Holy communion."  I was tempted to change it to "Refreshments: Human Flesh and Blood," but I didn't.

They just don't GET that it's a barbaric, pagan ritual...and more than a little gross.




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