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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 879
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Degrees of Doubt: The Claims and Credentials of Ravi Zacharias (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris May 17. 1 Reply

Anyone here ever run onto an apologist by the name of Ravi Zacharias?  I've seen his name dropped multiple times on YouTube as supposedly being THE ONE APOLOGIST that no atheist wants to cross swords with, because of his facility with christian…Continue

Tags: Ravi Zacharias, Steve Baughman, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

The Most Hated Woman in America (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Gary S Apr 19. 7 Replies

Before Aron Ra and Matt Dillahunty, before Dawkins or Dennett or Harris or even Hitchens, there was Madalyn Murray O'Hair.  In the midst of an America where Christianity was being flaunted as a defense against the godless communists of the Soviet…Continue

Tags: Frank Zindler, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Madalyn Murray O'Hair

Proud Dad is REALLY Proud Now!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Todd Williams Apr 12. 16 Replies

As some of you may or may not know, my daughter is a television news producer, currently working in Nashville, Tennessee.  Her assignment is the morning news, which means she blasts herself up at umpti-ump in the morning to organize and prepare a…Continue

Tags: Emmy, news, television, daughter, dad

attacking ideas (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Apr 4. 1 Reply

Attacking ideas is a considerable portion of what we as atheists do.  Why attack ideas?  Ideas earn attack when they don't serve people, not just us but those who adopt said ideas, mistakenly thinking that they have value when they don't.  Our…Continue

Tags: ideas, Islam, TheraminTrees

bending truth, or "We Can All Be Manipulated" (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Apr 4. 40 Replies

The following is one of TheraminTrees' most thorough-going pieces, wherein he looks at the process and techniques whereby a "religious" organization (which will sound VERY familiar to most of us, once introductions are made!) takes a person who…Continue

Tags: indoctrination, truth, manipulation, TheraminTrees

The Playboy Interview: Richard Dawkins

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Mar 28. 16 Replies

I suppose it was the news that Playboy magazine was returning nudes to its pages after a year's hiatus that sufficiently perked my curiosity to check them out again.  I hadn't looked at Playboy since perhaps 2008, when I began to recognize that I…Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Playboy

Comment Wall

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Comment by Ian Mason on January 10, 2013 at 4:12am

Congratulations to the happily married. It's a real achievement.

As far as the drunk/bad-tempered/intoverted fathers go - that was me for far too many years. I haven't been able to regain my daughter's affection and probably never will. There was too much shit for too long. Have also recognised that marriage etc. is not the best thing for me. I'm too unstable and that only causes distress for both parties.

My addiction now is exercise. It burns off the excess cortisol (the "bad" stress hormone) and stabilises my moods to some extent. Chocolate is good too but I need to ration myself, otherwise I go wild.

Have a great day, all of you, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Thanks for listening. Hugs from me.

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 10, 2013 at 2:16am

Melinda, Congratulations on 25 years of marriage, 2 great kids and if I were closer I could bring you a bouquet of Witchhazel. It is in full bloom and the only thing in color just now. I love its fragrance. 

Comment by Lillie on January 9, 2013 at 8:48pm

Maybe the cannonball dive was some kind of yoga position.

Comment by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 5:13pm

Comment by Steph S. on January 9, 2013 at 5:12pm

I just read your story about your dad sk8eycat - thank you so much for sharing with us.

Cute doglol booklover - thank you for sharing your story with us.

Wow - so much to read today. I am getting caught up.

You aren't boring Melinda. You have a nice peaceful life. Sounds wonderful to me.

Sorry to hear about your drunk dad John. Appreciate your sharing.

Ashley thanks for sharing your story about your dad with us.

I don't drink alcohol myself.

Enjoying the conversation here.

Wonderful to see all the sharing.

Comment by Ashley West on January 9, 2013 at 3:53pm

Hello, everyone. This is my first time commenting on here but once I saw this I just wanted to share something. My dad was an alcoholic before I was even born, and my childhood was spent trying to avoid his temper, or any other dangerous positions he decided to try and put me in. Thankfully my mom left him before he could do any serious damage to me. Like you, Melinda, I cannot tolerate alcohol very well myself these days. I don't know if its a physical reaction to the memory of my father or if I just really can't handle it but it always makes me sick. I know the feeling of growing up and starting to drink too just to try and cope with the other people around you that are doing it, but it just makes the situation worse. At least for me it does.

I am glad for those that have had the problem that have gotten themselves help. It's very hard to overcome, or so it seems with my family. 

By the way, Melinda, that is the cutest picture. My dog used to chase his tail all the time but I don't think he ever caught it. ;-)

Comment by John Lynch on January 9, 2013 at 11:13am

I know my children like me sober over being drunk. My wife put up with me for eleven years before he had enough. I am thankful she did or who knows what that would have led. My ex and I were getting along fairly well until she found out I was an atheist. She began sending me emails with religious messages. I sent her some information on the bible and it seems she did not care for facts. I have not heard from her in some time. I am quite sure my daughter is an atheist and my son is more an agnostic. I do not tell them what to believe or not to believe. 

Comment by John Lynch on January 9, 2013 at 9:59am

I see that some of us has a common link to drunk fathers. My problem is mine never left. Many times I wished he would never come back when he left fr work. I guess the bigger problem was three of his sons, me included, turned to alcohol. I finally sobered up in AA when I was still a believer. I cannot deny it gave me a place to go. I still go to a few meetings but have trouble listening when god speak is in abundance. Some of them you can get through without to much god. Of course I do not join in the prayer after the meeting. I stand aside or just leave.I am not sure I have grown up myself but I am responsible in everyday living. I have a tough time in social gatherings. I never had the problem when drinking. I at least thought I was the life of the party until the next day. 

Comment by Plinius on January 9, 2013 at 6:50am

Congrats, Melinda! I hope the next 25 years will be better still! And there's nothing wrong with a boring life - especially after troubles with fathers.

Comment by sk8eycat on January 9, 2013 at 12:16am

Well, I've been awake for 36+ hours now, and still don't feel sleepy...but I'm tired!  And not making much sense.  Just thought I'd check in and let y'all know I'm reading your posts, laughing at (and printing) all the silly animal pics, and I really do appreciate all your "welcome back" notes and stuff.

To Melinda...my biggest problem with my dad's drinking was that for the first 10 years of my life, he was my hero.  He was a very intelligent man, and he was interested in a lot of different things....boating, astronomy, parrots, cats, books.  On my 6th birthday he took me to the library, showed the clerk my birth certificate, and voila...I had my very own library card! 

I didn't notice that his drinking was out of control till I was 12 or 13, but mother said it started when I was in 5th grade.  Anyway, he just gradually became a stupid stumblebum...mostly only at home. I was ashamed to have my friends come to our house (so we gathered at their homes), and when I started dating in high school I NEVER ONCE introduced any of my boyfriends to him. Never even let them come to the door. I would wait outside for my dates to pick me up.  I didn't want anyone to see him almost passed out on the sofa or trying to be sociable, but slurring his words, obviously drunk.  (This was the 1950s...."Father Knows Best" time.)

Joining Holiday a few weeks after graduation was such a relief!  I didn't have to pretend anymore because we never played anywhere within 1,000 miles of SoCal. (We toured mostly in the midwest and the deep south, and ended the tours by playing Mexico City for a whole month! We loved THAT!)

I was on the road when there was one of those "confrontations" here, and he was dragged, kicking and screaming (well...not really, but reluctantly) to one of those drying-out hospitals.  It worked for him, but I think even today those places have only about a 50% success rate. If that.

But he was sober. So I came home and went to work for him....he had a small bookkeeping and tax preparation practice.  I was always rotten in arithmetic in school, but with a good old Addo-X, I found that balancing ledgers and reconciling bank statements could be fun.  I've always liked solving puzzles, and that's what it feels like to me, even now.

Years and years later, after he died, I finally figured out why he always refused to have anything to do with AA...I'm pretty sure he was a closeted atheist.  Mother, raised in the buybull belt, was the only one who talked about god and Jeebus and heaven and hell, and dragged me to Sunday school when I was little.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. 

 

 

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