Information

Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 865
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

The Burial Waltz

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Donatien Alphonse François Apr 26. 4 Replies

Hi everyone,It was almost a half-century ago, at age 15 or so, that I encountered one of the more important influences in my life: a crazy group of poets/musicians who called themselves The Fugs.They had a huge impact on me in that, though raised in…Continue

Some William Blake to Ponder

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Donatien Alphonse François Apr 25. 6 Replies

Hello all,I'm new here, and so hope this isn't old hat. But, I just had to point you toward a marvelous poem by William Blake in case you've never read it. Despite his sometimes heavily tinged biblical references in his other art and poetry, this…Continue

God's Not Dead - The Christian Persecution Complex (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Annie Willis Apr 20. 7 Replies

Doubtless most if not all of you have heard about that sorry piece of cinema known as God's Not Dead, and perhaps its sequel, cleverly entitled: God's Not Dead 2 (wow, how original!).  Personally, I have wasted neither time nor money on either,…Continue

Tags: God's Not Dead, patheos, Neil Carter, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Confirmed: flagged by religious people for "bullying."

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Loren Miller Apr 19. 4 Replies

According to Seth Andrews @SethAndrewsTTA  Apr 16"Confirmed. TTA was flagged by religious people for "bullying." Apparently, criticism and skepticism = persecution. #GodHatesFacts"Others reported as "Flagged" and taken off line: @The Thinking…Continue

Tags: @SethAndrewsTTA, @morehead_sarah, @Matt_Dillahunty, @jteberhard, confirmed

The Value of Atheist Nexus ... and of Keeping Contact

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 17. 13 Replies

I don't know about you, but the last 24+ hours were VERY uncomfortable for me.  Why?  Because something I value a LOT, being Atheist Nexus and the people I care about on A|N were temporarily unavailable to me.  No, we're not Facebook; I don't think…Continue

Tags: maintenance, community, availability, Atheist Nexus

Atheist Pig STRIKES AGAIN!!!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Qiana-Maieev Apr 5. 1 Reply

There's no getting around it, Atheist Pig is fast becoming my fave secular comic, and as evidence, I refer you to the following.  Jesus and Mo had better watch their respective asses, 'cuz they got a porker coming up on the outside, and I'm pretty…Continue

Tags: Atheist Pig

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Hang With Friends to add comments!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on April 26, 2014 at 3:46pm

Hi Mindy.  I thought I'd chime in with an opinion about your Facebook situation.  Everyone here has given you excellent advice.  In addition, it's pretty obvious you know how you want to respond, you just needed some outside validation.  I think your daughter hit the nail on the head:  "%&#@, no!"   As you pointed out (and Patricia dually noted) you weren't very close friends with this person to begin with, so there's no reason, in my opinion, to rekindle a friendship that didn't have a firm foundation from the start.    

I'd rather have a small group of strong, loyal friends than a large group of many acquaintances and friends of questionable value.  The fact that you are questioning whether or not you want to be friends with this person pretty much sums up the situation in a nutshell. 

Comment by Ian Mason on April 26, 2014 at 3:43am

If it's not too late, have a good trip, Patricia.

Mindy, it's all been said so I won't try to add more.

I enjoy FB but I know it's just for fun. If I need to share something personal THIS is the place and YOU are the people.

Have a great weekend. Hugs to all.

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 10:23pm

Hugs to you too Mindy - you are my good friend too.

Everyone have a good weekend.

Comment by sk8eycat on April 25, 2014 at 5:50pm

Patricia, is this a NIGHT trip?  Or will you be able to enjoy the scenery?  Either way, relax, and have a grand time!

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 4:24pm

Patricia have a safe trip. Be safe.

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 4:23pm

Mindy she sounds like a shallow "friend" - I don't think you should take her back as friend. I think the time has passed and you are older and more mature now. Look forward to better friends in the future who like you for who you are.

Comment by Joan Denoo on April 25, 2014 at 3:05pm

Mindy, You are just very fine! What you feel is what you feel and you can honor that without guilt. If you want her for a friend, by all means make that choice. If you don't want to, or not now, make that choice. You don't have to explain anything. Just make your statement and go on with life. 
About the anxiety attack, a good counselor can help you with that. Basically, sit quietly, paying attention to your breath. When a thought comes to mind, thank it for visiting and dismiss it away. It takes a lot of practice to get to the point where you can just sit, relaxed, breathing easily, and letting go of thoughts. That static in your mind can wear you out. 

Mindfulness Strategies

I like Chris' response: a hug, even virtual, is coming your way from me and I am sure all of us on this string. 

Ruth gives very good advice, and based on healthy communication skills. She is right on target about being honest with yourself and then letting her know. 

Patricia always has strong responses and, by golly, she is right. I really like what she said. You are who you are. Period.

Felaine has good sense as well ... goodness, we are lucky to have such trustworthy and wise friends. She advises using the Block button on Facebook and that is a great idea.

So, you have a lot of options and even more if you need to find a better way. However, there are some good options here to kick around. You are not a victim. You have everything you need to come out of this a winner. Sit back, enjoy that you have breath, celebrate your life, and experience the gratitude of strong family and friends. 

I just read your response and it seems you have been able to quiet your thoughts and get your anxiety down. Remember, anxiety is a symptom of feeling helpless. To feel optimistic is the goal. The method to achieve your goal lies within the symptoms. Look for mad, glad, sad, afraid, guilt, shame and you will usually find the cause of your anxiety. 
 

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 25, 2014 at 3:03pm

See ya Patricia.  Have fun.

Comment by sk8eycat on April 25, 2014 at 1:58pm

Mindy, friendship, like love, should be unconditional. 

If somebody places conditions on how they should behave toward you, they are NOT True Friends.  DUMP THEM!  I have done that several times in the past 50+ years, and it may have hurt at first (but it usually hurt because they had done something to hurt me and/or mine), but it made life much easier in the long run.

You are a GOOD person, but you worry too much!  If you need FlakeBook to keep in touch with your extended family, limit it to just them, and block everyone else...if that can be done.

That site makes me very nervous; IMO it's useless except for small commercial and non-profit (animal rescue) enterprises.  I'm usually a very private person; I don't want Jack Schidt and his 10,000,000 friends to know what I'm thinking and doing...or not doing. I stick to e-mail to stay in touch. 

And this place.

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on April 25, 2014 at 10:59am

booklover, it sounds to me as if you miss being young and thin. I agree that a friend shallow enough to insist that you lose weight to be her bridesmaid might not be attractive. There's a possibility that she's matured. Were I in your situation, I'd tell her the real reason you don't seek her company, and how much her insisting that you lose weight to be her bridesmaid had hurt. Explain how you need friends that validate what's important to you now. Ask if she still has that attitude which so offended you.

Even if you reject her proposal to be a friend, it's healthier to be honest about why. You don't need to make excuses. We're proud of you just as you are.

 

Members (865)

 
 
 

Support Atheist Nexus

Supporting Membership

Nexus on Social Media:

Latest Activity

© 2016   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service