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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 883
Latest Activity: 31 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Thomas Murray 7 hours ago. 5 Replies

I received a gift this morning from a virtual friend, Pamela Smith:A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :" One day an old wise teacher was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have…Continue

Speak English? YOU FIRST! (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Thomas Murray yesterday. 4 Replies

Honestly, the title to this piece is badly under-representative of the content.  To be far more accurate, what we have here is Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, going on a rant.  Before you say it ... Say WHAAAA?  Betty Bowers ranting? …Continue

Tags: America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

A Prayer for Our Nation (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Friday. 2 Replies

I'm going to keep this one short and sweet.  Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, has seen what is going on with the current occupant of the Oval Office, and my impression is that she is not at all happy with it.  True to her citizenship,…Continue

Tags: prayer, Donald Trump, Oval Office, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Any Babymetal Fans Here?

Started by Bruce Carroll. Last reply by Idaho Spud Sep 12. 5 Replies

Any Babymetal fans here besides me? I have to ask because 1) I really like Babymetal and 2) Babymetal unknowingly played a role in my journey out of religion.For those who are unfamiliar with Babymetal, here is a link to one of their most popular…Continue

Tags: Japanese Idol, Babymetal

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

Started by Idaho Spud. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Sep 11. 30 Replies

Today, I heard Seth Andrews talk about the question, "If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?"  My first thought was religion, but after a few seconds I decided it would be irrational or anti-scientific thinking.  That would take…Continue

Tags: anti-scientific, irrational

Ignorance is Bliss: Why Religious People Seem Happier Than the 'Nones'”.

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Idaho Spud Sep 11. 16 Replies

“Highly Religious Volunteer More, Lie Less, and Claim to Be Happier”~ Houston Chronicle; “Strongly Religious People are Happier than Non-Religious”  ~ Christian Daily."The study determined that 40 percent of highly religious adults—defined as those…Continue

Tags: Nones, happiness, non-religiosity, religiosity, bliss

Comment Wall

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Comment by Plinius on November 21, 2014 at 9:52am

They're just teaching you not to have carpet, Mindy! I learnt part of the lesson; I haven't got carpet or wallpaper - but I still have duvets, so they throw up on the duvet cover. Perhaps I shouldn't have those?

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 9:00am

But of course! Why would a cat ever throw up on a surface that's easy to clean?

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 8:42am

Sounds like a great face lift for your kitchen, Mindy. I had a good friend who was a Corian installer - you're going to love it. Tile floors are nice too. Carpet is evil, especially if you have animals!

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 7:54am

Mindy - how fun! What kind of countertops are you installing?

Comment by Randall Smith on November 21, 2014 at 7:35am

Carl, sorry about the rescheduling. Also, "praying for you". That boils my blood. Except for my stupid ex-wife, my family (kids and 2 sisters) are pretty respectful of my nonbelief. No meal prayers, for example (at least not outloud).

Felaine, your insights, wisdom, and wit are awesome!

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 21, 2014 at 6:47am

Thanks Patricia.  The "I have this book" one will probably go to my sister when I respond to her saying "We'll have to agree to disagree."  

I've been wanting to tell her I don't agree to disagree, because that makes it sound like our arguments are equal, when they're not.  Her arguments have no good evidence behind them, while mine have mountains of good scientific evidence.

Comment by sk8eycat on November 21, 2014 at 12:51am

Oh, Patricia!  GOOD stuff!  Thanks for posting ALL of it!  <3

Comment by sk8eycat on November 20, 2014 at 5:19pm

Carl, this is kinda cruel, but controlled experiments have been done with heart surgery patients, and the results were very weird.  The patients who had been told they were being prayed for did worse than any other group.

Try telling your mother to pray all she wants, but not to tell you about it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 20, 2014 at 5:05pm

Carl, you wrote that your mother said, 

"everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works."

If your mother's statement and the statements of others bother you, the trick is to reframe the experience. Especially with someone you love as much as your mother. Demonstrate to her and others that you put your full confidence in your medical team and in your strong desire to be healthy.

At the same time you know that there is an extremely high probability that prayers don't work because there is no god to hear them. I don't think it is wise to make the claim there is no god or prayer does not work, because you could be asked to prove your claim. It isn't possible to provide such proof. 

Because you know those who believe in superstitions depend on something that does not probably exist, and they feel hopeless and helpless to take away the disease, they want very much to help. They care about you. 

If you can acknowledge their care with a genuine appreciation, while at the same time tell them what you really need. You, and many others need their active participation in fundraising for those in treatment, or for liver research. That way, you give them an out. That is something they can do, hopefully, and it isn't cheap prayers.

My rage was so powerful it showed when others said they would pray for me. I had to reframe my experience. I was rather blunt, even bold, in asking them to take part in some real effort to fight cancer. 

You could suggest to them that they could volunteer time to help you by driving you to appointments or doing grocery shopping, or just sitting with you. Or they could work to raise money to help patients with expenses, or for liver research. Or volunteer at the treatment center. 

One friend of mine who died of cancer asked for us to read to her.  

Ask them for what you need. I know! We do not ask for help, even when we need it. We are supposed to be self-sufficient. 

Tell your mother how you feel and what you need from her. She really does want to help you, even if it is rattling bones of birds and eyeballs of gnutes. Seize the opportunity to educate her. Show her the confidence you have in your team of medical professionals. 

Comment by Plinius on November 20, 2014 at 2:23pm

Your family always know how to hurt you - and mine never missed an opportunity. Try to forget Carl, or some day you suddenly close the door to them. And I hope you'll feel better soon!

 

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