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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 850
Latest Activity: 6 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Goodwill to Few Men (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Donald R Barbera on Thursday. 3 Replies

Think Goodwill Industries does well by the poor?  Fact is, they do WAY BETTER for themselves, to the point where America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, thinks they're ripping off the christian playbook a bit too well!  Have a look for yourself:…Continue

Tags: ripoff, Goodwill Industries, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Plinius Jul 10. 12 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

losing faith (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller Jul 5. 0 Replies

TheraminTrees has recently begun producing a new series of YouTube videos, which added to a wonderful library of earlier observations regarding his experience of religion. Good as all those pieces are, I personally think they pale against this…Continue

Tags: story, history, faith, TheraminTrees

Betty Explains Religious Freedom (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Jul 3. 10 Replies

Well, considering all the RFRA bills popping up all over the United States, plus all the fun and games ISIS is bringing to the good folks in Syria and Iraq, Betty Bowers, the epitome of well-dressed christianity, has decided to clarify the true…Continue

Tags: persecution, ISIS, Religious Freedom, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner May 6. 82 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Dominique Lutz Apr 16. 6 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

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Comment by Grinning Cat on January 19, 2013 at 12:50am

Future wrote, a page or two ago:

In my vision of a perfect world, all churches would be shuttered not because they had no choice, but because their members started thinking critically and left.

In line with Joan Denoo's comment, we can hope they'll become secular fellowships that do things to improve the world, as the author of Why Won't God Heal Amputees would like to see:

What About Churches
[...]
A thriving church community can be an amazing thing. But it is the people who make that happen, not any imaginary being. Once the imaginary being is gone, churches continue to exist as communities of people who enjoy each others' company, who help one another in times of need, and who focus on goodness and good deeds for the benefit of society as a whole. What's not to like about that? By removing the imaginary being, church attendance may actually go up, because a strong church has a lot to offer.

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on January 18, 2013 at 11:09pm

Great video, Joan! Thanks. I have to share that in Parenting Little Heathens too. Have a great night, all.

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 18, 2013 at 9:48pm
Comment by Joan Denoo on January 18, 2013 at 7:30pm
Melinda, your mother must have had a mighty challenge to overcome to become such a good mom to you. Having a mother who was so hard on her, it makes me wonder if she was running away from her mother and sadly married a man with a problem. Did she know it when she married him?
There were a lot of grown women whose parents were alcoholic in my classes in the Displaced Homemaker Program. Many of these women ran away from mothers and/or fathers, but failed to see the problems they were getting into with the choice of a marriage partner. There is a common saying among social workers, children of addictive parents choose addictive spouses even if they do not have a problem. We often had women who married one addicted husband after another. Their addiction is addicted spouses.
Comment by Joan Denoo on January 18, 2013 at 6:48pm

sk8eycat, I really like your most recent comment ... right on target! Your idea of a profit/loss statement made public is a good one. The loop-holes in tax requirements need to be re-evaluated and probably closed up. Who benefits by them, anyway? Your chart on Federal Deficit/Surplus tells us what we need to know. Now, how did Clinton do it? Or was it smoke and mirrors? 

According to the report:

"The Clinton years showed the effects of a large tax increase that Clinton pushed through in his first year, and that Republicans incorrectly claim is the "largest tax increase in history." It fell almost exclusively on upper-income taxpayers. Clinton’s fiscal 1994 budget also contained some spending restraints. An equally if not more powerful influence was the booming economy and huge gains in the stock markets, the so-called dot-com bubble, which brought in hundreds of millions in unanticipated tax revenue from taxes on capital gains and rising salaries."

Now, how do we see a bobble forming before it splatters blood all over the place? 

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 18, 2013 at 6:39pm

booklover and  Lillie, it is really hard to heal wounds that go so deeply as with problems with our parents. When I started doing my family genealogy, I had the opportunity to track down birthplaces of many of my ancestors on both side. Few knew the deep dark secrets of their ancestry. "We never talk about that!" many would say to me as I asked questions. Talking to genealogy librarians, descendants of other common ancestry, court and church records, and understanding the moral and ethical customs of their times, I found out our history that could not be talked about.

This information gave me insight into why they acted the way they did, why they thought and related that was so unhealthy. Thankfully, by learning effective and efficient communication ways, how to speak assertively and listen actively, how to identify problems, to develop a vision of a preferred future, create action plans and the value of taking risks, I was able to make the kinds of changes that were healthy. 

For me, it was violence in the family, but there are many other ways to cause harm to a new life that last their lifetime. Something very shattering, something strong enough to break old patterns then becomes your gift. 

One of the things I did in therapy was concentrate on remembering the strength I gained from each of them, build on those strengths and develop new skills that they were unable to teach me. 

Hope this helps in your journey to peach, joy, contentment and compassion. 

Comment by sk8eycat on January 18, 2013 at 6:15pm

If churches were at least required to file an honest annual Profit and Loss Statement (and a balance sheet) with the IRS the way other "non-profits" do, at least we would be able to see which ones were using their gross income to feed, clothe, and house the needy, and which ones were transferring the money offshore.

We also have to close ALL the tax loopholes that large corporations take advantage of, and stop giving benefits to oil companies and Big Agriculture...to name just two.

When Clinton left office the budget was balanced, and there was a fiscal surplus....But Dubya (with the help of De Facto Prez Cheney) had to have TWO futile wars to show the world he was more macho than his "Poppy." At the same time, they got congress to cut taxes on the welthiest.  Conservatives have been calling liberals the "tax and spend party " for decades,but they themselves are the "spend and spend party."

http://factcheck.org/2008/02/the-budget-and-deficit-under-clinton/

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 18, 2013 at 5:41pm
In small town USA, churches, schools, volunteer fire departments offer great places for community building. The problem, as I see it, is evangelism. If they came together to share with others, to pot-luck together, to take on community projects, that is one thing. However, proselytizing is an imperative for too many of them. Non-believers, such as myself, didn't say anything, we just put up with their babble.
NO MORE! Our school boards, local to national governments begin to look more like an evangelical gathering and I want no part of it. I will stay militant until and unless they mind their own business and get out of legislating their morality ... which many of them have trouble living.
Comment by Steph S. on January 18, 2013 at 5:30pm

Comment by Lillie on January 18, 2013 at 3:20pm

John, I say that the real me was born the day my mother died.  It was such a relief.  I am so glad she is no longer in this world and since there is no Heaven or Hell, I won't ever have to see her again.  This is really sad.  I hope my children won't say that about me when I am gone.  Whatever my mother did, I tried to do the opposite.  Sometimes a strange negative thought comes into my mind and I wonder where in the world it came from.  Then I laugh and say, "Margaret lives."

 

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