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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 873
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

What Annoys God Most? (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris on Thursday. 9 Replies

Long story short, it's those near misses, the almost-but-not-quite, close but no cheroot moments, or, would you believe ... Near Death Experiences!  So what's the big deal?  Betty Bowers, America's BEST Christian and self-proclaimed expert on such…Continue

Tags: Near Death Experiences, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

degrading love — part one (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Nov 22. 11 Replies

Love is by many considered among the highest of positive emotions.  Yet when love of the type offered by deities is examined, something seems to go seriously wrong.  The love of Yahweh seems less a gift than a demand, not so much beneficence as a…Continue

Tags: TheraminTrees, god, love

Ning, Error 500s, and Whether to Migrate

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Nov 13. 47 Replies

I just got the following notice from Ning yesterday, (31 October, 2016), in the wake of this latest website outage:As some of you may be aware, we experienced a system outage earlier this morning. The cause was due to a specific network…Continue

Tags: downtime, Atheist Nexus, Ning

Introducing Douglas Murray

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Nov 7. 4 Replies

Most of us who have been around atheism for a while know the heavyweights of our ilk.  Names like Hitchens, Dawkins, Dennett, Harris, Dillahunty and AronRa get nearly daily mention in posts and discussions on Atheist Nexus.  One name I was…Continue

Tags: Agatan Foundation, Douglas Murray

If There's a God - She's a Woman - The Author T

Started by Joe. Last reply by Chris Nov 3. 4 Replies

I came across this story and thought some here might find it interesting and humorous.It’s titled:If There’s a GodShe’s a WomanFrom the Series:Things You Can Learn from a VaginaIts on the website TheAuthorT.com under the tab, “Free to Read…Continue

His Dark Materials and the Catholic Church

Started by Tonya R. Wheeler. Last reply by k.h. ky Oct 30. 35 Replies

I recently watched the movie, "The Golden Compass" and since I could not find the sequels, I read the books. I enjoyed them, and I will be reading the first one, Northern Lights, starting tomorrow, since it just arrived via inter-library…Continue

Tags: Fantasy, Catholic, Religion, Atheist, Pullman

Comment Wall

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Comment by sk8eycat on August 5, 2012 at 8:13pm

That HAS to be from The Onion, Landover Baptist Church, or some other satirical web site.  There is only ONE Calaveras County in the USA...it's in California's GOLD Country...NOT "god" country.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calaveras_County,_California

Comment by sk8eycat on August 5, 2012 at 5:18pm

My sister and I have agreed to disagree about religion, and have rarely discussed it (except how silly the Book of Morons Mormon is. We've both tried to read it, and got bogged down about 1/4 of the way past the 1st page) for decades. 

I think sometimes she regrets her attachment to the JWs...I know she missed doing xmas decoratioons and things like that after our parents died.  She was talking the other day about how much she liked the scent of evergreens in the house, and she always enjoys having someone drive her around to see all the outdoor lights and frou-frou, even though JWs KNOW xmas and Oestre are pagan rituals. 

They also don't believe the "young Earth/universe" nonsense...so we agree on more issues than we would if she were a Baptist. Or if she had stayed in that fundie Missouri Synod Lutheran church that was attached to the private school she went to through 8th grade.  (The public school system couldn't deal with her tantrums and stuff in kindergarten and 1st grade.  The public elementary school is just one block from our house, and she would sneak out and come home.)

But I find it amusing that even though she knows the Book of Morons is fiction, she can't or won't take the same skeptical look at the buybull. 

Well, I'm pretty sure she's terrified of death and dying, for one thing.  That's partly why she would never visit either of our parents the many times they were hospitalized...not that she was afraid she would see them die, but that she might see something disturbing in another room while walking through the halls.

She has never been hospitalized for anything in her life.  (I'm a patchwork of surgical scars.  I think she thought I was crazy when I calmly called a cab to go have my spine re-built in '09.  I wore my "Imagine No Religion" T-shirt, too.  Catholic horse-pissed-all, yanno.)

There have been times when I've wanted to slap her, but what good would it do?  When she gets hissy, and she does, I just go in my room and leave her alone till she gets over herself. This is a big house with plenty of room for two people.  And two kittehs. 

(Thank you for having the brains to make out a Living Trust, Mom!)

And to Spud...I don't see any reason for assuming a person deserves respect just for believing in a bunch of primitive myths.  Just the opposite, in fact. If their behavior shows that they can overcome their beliefs, whatever they are, then I'll respect them.

Maybe.

(I wish I could get my atheist friends in Blackfoot to join this group, but they're involed with other ones.  *sigh*  I have classmates in Coeur d'Alene, too, but he's a retired Baptwit minister...pals around with Tim LaHaye.  Ick.  But I love them anyway. I was a bridesmaid at their wedding in 1958.)

Comment by Idaho Spud on August 5, 2012 at 12:27pm

Sk8eycat, that has to be tough, living with a JW.  I like your respect comment.

Comment by Plinius on August 5, 2012 at 1:17am

Thanks Sk8eycat, for the aspie description - yes, classical behaviour. My brother-in-law is another, diagnosed himself at 50 years old from the internet. No friends, no contacts except his brother and me. Is now doing a training for aspies because he wants to study astronomy - I won't ask when (he's only 56 now). But the combination aspie-religion strikes me as unusual; the aspies I've met are all very rational and dismiss all fairytales and other unprovable things. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on August 5, 2012 at 12:05am

dr kellie, thanks for the correction about sk8eycat's sister. I am quite embarrassed I read so carelessly. Do you have insights you can offer me  regarding my neighbor boy? I would like to be prepared for ... whatever. 
I love your way of dealing with door bell proselytizers. That must get them off subject really quickly. 
I had larger breasts than most girls but at 76 years old, they are not  very pleasant to look at. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on August 4, 2012 at 11:58pm

sk8eycat, Thanks for being willing to share your experience caring for an Aspie. Not knowing about the condition, and experiencing her "peculiarities", how old was she before there was a "diagnosis", even if she didn't go for medical care. What were the presenting symptoms? Is she good natured, or difficult, and what strategies do you use. 

A new little boy moved into our neighborhood this summer and he has Aspies. He seems to enjoy being with the other kids in my back yard but sometimes he gets rough with them verbally, never physically. My response is to sit with him until he settles down and then talk about what he is feeling. I really like the boy and need to know how to respond to him in positive and healthy ways. The other kids are great, and they seem to get along with him, even as he is blunt. 

Comment by sk8eycat on August 4, 2012 at 11:50pm

booklover, I just had another idea about the "business cards."  after the line, "...BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO RESPECT WHAT YOU BELIEVE.!"  I should add, "AND I DON'T!"   Maybe with  or   at the end of the line.  Or underneath the last line.

They didn't call me "La Bruja del Hielo" fer nuttin'!

Comment by Joan Denoo on August 4, 2012 at 11:46pm

sk8eycat, I misread your sentence on Aspie, and am sorry I read it so carelessly. However, I am interested in how it is for you. 
OH! You have already responded. I shall get back to you after I read your comment. 

Comment by sk8eycat on August 4, 2012 at 11:38pm

Joan...my sister has never been able to drive a car, work outside the home (except to peddle Watchtowers), control her temper, form any lasting relationships except with a small number of people in her congregation.  Has never been on a date with anyone of any sex.

As an infant and toddler, she didn't like being held, she'd push Mother away when given a hug.

She does love our cats, and the neighbors' dogs, has a memory like a steel trap.  Doesn't "nurse" a grudge, she cherishes them; she still talks about a first grade teacher who was "mean" to her.  I have told her and told her that I had the same teacher 5 years before she did, and she was "mean" (strict) with everybody.  Doesn't register; she loves feeling victimized.  For a long time her hobby was Musical Doctors...every time some new condition would be in the news, she thought she had it, got a checkup, and when her doctor told her she didn't have...chronic fatigue syndrome, or fibromyalgia, or whatever, she'd pitch a fir and go shopping for a new doctor.

And during all this time NObody in the USA had ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome, even though it was first described in 1944...the year she was born.  But Dr. Asperger was in Austria, and "there was a war on."

She's never been diagnosed because JWs don't go in for things like neuropsychiatry, but MY doctor an MY therapist have told me her behavior is "classic."

Too late to do anything about it now except accept that that is the way she is, and try to live with it.  I was pretty much on my own from 1957 till the mid-'80s when our parents started needing help, and I moved back in the house. 

When dad had a catastrophic stroke, and the EMTs were wheeling him out of the house for the last time, she went in her room and closed the door.  He lived another 3 months, but she never visited him in the hospital.  Didn't ever visit Mother all the times she was hospitalized, either.

But she knows a hell of a lot about astronomy....   [shrugs]

Comment by dr kellie on August 4, 2012 at 10:38pm

Joan, her sister is an Aspie.  My brother was, too.

 

My resonse to the door bell ringers is to go to the door topless.  They really run off.  I might have to stop when I get older and don't like going topless.  I think I have a few more years:)

 

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