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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 850
Latest Activity: 53 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Steven Weinberg on his anti-theism

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Loren Miller 53 minutes ago. 4 Replies

I like the sound of Steven Weinberg's voice. He has a calming impact on me as I rush to get my home of 41 years ready to sell and plan and put into motion the new garden at my daughter's home. My home is full o empty boxed quickly filling with the…Continue

Goodwill to Few Men (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Donald R Barbera Jul 23. 3 Replies

Think Goodwill Industries does well by the poor?  Fact is, they do WAY BETTER for themselves, to the point where America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, thinks they're ripping off the christian playbook a bit too well!  Have a look for yourself:…Continue

Tags: ripoff, Goodwill Industries, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Plinius Jul 10. 12 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

losing faith (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller Jul 5. 0 Replies

TheraminTrees has recently begun producing a new series of YouTube videos, which added to a wonderful library of earlier observations regarding his experience of religion. Good as all those pieces are, I personally think they pale against this…Continue

Tags: story, history, faith, TheraminTrees

Betty Explains Religious Freedom (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Jul 3. 10 Replies

Well, considering all the RFRA bills popping up all over the United States, plus all the fun and games ISIS is bringing to the good folks in Syria and Iraq, Betty Bowers, the epitome of well-dressed christianity, has decided to clarify the true…Continue

Tags: persecution, ISIS, Religious Freedom, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner May 6. 82 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Comment Wall

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Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 9:00am

But of course! Why would a cat ever throw up on a surface that's easy to clean?

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 8:42am

Sounds like a great face lift for your kitchen, Mindy. I had a good friend who was a Corian installer - you're going to love it. Tile floors are nice too. Carpet is evil, especially if you have animals!

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 7:54am

Mindy - how fun! What kind of countertops are you installing?

Comment by Randall Smith on November 21, 2014 at 7:35am

Carl, sorry about the rescheduling. Also, "praying for you". That boils my blood. Except for my stupid ex-wife, my family (kids and 2 sisters) are pretty respectful of my nonbelief. No meal prayers, for example (at least not outloud).

Felaine, your insights, wisdom, and wit are awesome!

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 21, 2014 at 6:47am

Thanks Patricia.  The "I have this book" one will probably go to my sister when I respond to her saying "We'll have to agree to disagree."  

I've been wanting to tell her I don't agree to disagree, because that makes it sound like our arguments are equal, when they're not.  Her arguments have no good evidence behind them, while mine have mountains of good scientific evidence.

Comment by sk8eycat on November 21, 2014 at 12:51am

Oh, Patricia!  GOOD stuff!  Thanks for posting ALL of it!  <3

Comment by sk8eycat on November 20, 2014 at 5:19pm

Carl, this is kinda cruel, but controlled experiments have been done with heart surgery patients, and the results were very weird.  The patients who had been told they were being prayed for did worse than any other group.

Try telling your mother to pray all she wants, but not to tell you about it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 20, 2014 at 5:05pm

Carl, you wrote that your mother said, 

"everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works."

If your mother's statement and the statements of others bother you, the trick is to reframe the experience. Especially with someone you love as much as your mother. Demonstrate to her and others that you put your full confidence in your medical team and in your strong desire to be healthy.

At the same time you know that there is an extremely high probability that prayers don't work because there is no god to hear them. I don't think it is wise to make the claim there is no god or prayer does not work, because you could be asked to prove your claim. It isn't possible to provide such proof. 

Because you know those who believe in superstitions depend on something that does not probably exist, and they feel hopeless and helpless to take away the disease, they want very much to help. They care about you. 

If you can acknowledge their care with a genuine appreciation, while at the same time tell them what you really need. You, and many others need their active participation in fundraising for those in treatment, or for liver research. That way, you give them an out. That is something they can do, hopefully, and it isn't cheap prayers.

My rage was so powerful it showed when others said they would pray for me. I had to reframe my experience. I was rather blunt, even bold, in asking them to take part in some real effort to fight cancer. 

You could suggest to them that they could volunteer time to help you by driving you to appointments or doing grocery shopping, or just sitting with you. Or they could work to raise money to help patients with expenses, or for liver research. Or volunteer at the treatment center. 

One friend of mine who died of cancer asked for us to read to her.  

Ask them for what you need. I know! We do not ask for help, even when we need it. We are supposed to be self-sufficient. 

Tell your mother how you feel and what you need from her. She really does want to help you, even if it is rattling bones of birds and eyeballs of gnutes. Seize the opportunity to educate her. Show her the confidence you have in your team of medical professionals. 

Comment by Plinius on November 20, 2014 at 2:23pm

Your family always know how to hurt you - and mine never missed an opportunity. Try to forget Carl, or some day you suddenly close the door to them. And I hope you'll feel better soon!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on November 20, 2014 at 1:01pm

I've been a bit absent from here.  I'm feeling fine, just very tired.  I was supposed to have a consultation with a surgeon this week concerning a quick, small surgery for my arm to ready myself for dialysis in case I get to that point.  At the last minute the doctor's office cancelled and told me the doctor will be out of the office until mid-December.  Ugh!  

But here's my real rant.......

The other day I was on the telephone with my mother, a church-going believer.  She said, Carl, I know you don't want to hear this, but everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works.

I have to honestly say that I truly felt insulted by that remark.  When I hear strangers say to me, "Have a blessed day" or when I hear them say to each other, "I'll pray for you,"  I just roll my eyes.  But hearing such a sentiment from my own mother at this time really bothered me.  It's such an insult to my intelligence, especially coming from a family member. 

 

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