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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 878
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

God's Annual Performance Review (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Monday. 6 Replies

I don't know about you guys, but there wasn't a performance review I had in 30 years of field service that I didn't LOATHE.  It seems as though Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, is up for turning the tables on the person you would expect would…Continue

Tags: review, performance, god, American's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Learning a Language as a Mature Adult

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 2. 28 Replies

Trying to keep my mind exercised, and not interested in most of the reading materials that I can find.I decided to attempt to learn a language.  Actually, two.  The dilemma is, how do I do that without going to school - not an option - and without…Continue

The Playboy Interview: Richard Dawkins

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris Feb 19. 14 Replies

I suppose it was the news that Playboy magazine was returning nudes to its pages after a year's hiatus that sufficiently perked my curiosity to check them out again.  I hadn't looked at Playboy since perhaps 2008, when I began to recognize that I…Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Playboy

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Grinning Cat Feb 13. 9 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

degrading love — part two (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Feb 11. 1 Reply

TheraminTrees set up religion with his left in Part One of his treatise on how religion demeans and degrades the value of love.  Here in Part Two, he brings in a devastating, "Mike Tyson" right, which negates and invalidates any claim that either…Continue

Tags: Christianity, Islam, TheraminTrees, god, love

Questions......

Started by Thomas Murray. Last reply by k.h. ky Feb 9. 6 Replies

   It has been 6 month now since I signed up for Atheist Nexus membership. The past year has been sort of a bi-polar wave of emotions for me. I hope I wasn't offensive to the folks on here and I think I have been but I don't know to who. My desire…Continue

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Comment by Randall Smith on December 8, 2015 at 8:24am

Sorry I forgot to ask about you, Kathy! It's just that cataract surgery is really no big deal, certainly not compared to a kidney transplant. Thanks, Carl, for the update. Glad to hear of your progress, albeit a slow and frustrating one.

For me, this group site is a good place to air out our problems, concerns, and happenings. Joan's move, Daniel's upcoming retirement (and health issues), Ian's work woes, Carl of course, etc. I feel quite fortunate not to have any major personal issues. I know I have a selfish streak in me, so I try to compensate by asking about others. Afterall, we all like to talk about ourselves.

Comment by k.h. ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:11pm
Joan I join you in thanking Randy for thinking to ask about Carl's health.
I had my last cataract surgery and hadn't been on here much while I was trying to put three types drops in my eye four times a day. I couldn't see much while that was being done. Now that both eyes are finished, and I'm down to two eye drop a day I'm amazed at what I can see. And the procedures were the easiest things I've ever had done.
Comment by k.h. ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:03pm
Carl, l had a young sister in law that had a kidney transplant and I remember her meds being tweaked. It takes a while but after you get the correct dose it's much less tiring and time consuming. How is your sister recovering?


Ian, you're almost there now. Just a few more days and you have it made!
Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 5:31pm

Ian, sorry to learn of your malaise. Depression can be a dreadful experience. I urge you to do everything you can to get out of the dumps.  Worry can be so debilitating; it saps your energy and the energy of those who care about you. 

There are many kinds of therapy and some work quickly and get one back on one's feet, others seem not to be so effective. 

I prefer "Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is designed to help people find new ways of dealing with hurtful thoughts and behaviors. Instead of delving into the past to determine where a feeling or emotion comes from, CBT helps patients become more aware of how their beliefs or actions are contributing to depression. Once those are identified, a therapist will work with his or her patient to replace those negative attitudes with more positive ones. There may be daily or weekly exercises and guidance involved to help patients apply the skills they learn in therapy to the real world. Research has shown that many people who undergo CBT for depression see significant improvement."

Learning new skills, identifying situations that influence me to feel anger, fear, sadness, guilt, or shame, and then exploring ways to solve a problem if it is solvable, or learning ways to let go of the hurtful feelings, or accept reality without creating delusions. 

Many people turn to religion for a crutch when they feel helpless or hopeless. That is just another delusion and doesn't solve anything. Some claim to feel better with religion; it is a mental construct that allows them to give the problem to god and let go. 

Letting go of a bad feeling requires solving a problem or reframing the experience into a healthy way of thinking. For example, when a person experiences the death of a child, instead of giving the pain to god, a healthy response is to face the reality of the loss, express gratitude for the one who died. Reframe the grief into gratitude.

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:50pm

Randy, thanks for asking Carl for his update. I watch each mail to see if there is a word from him even as I know the recovery of energy level takes time. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:47pm

Carl, thank you for the update. I am very happy to learn the surgery and hospital experience went well and you came home ready to walk the road to recovery.

Your regime sounds very similar to my follow-up. When the first year was over, I felt a loss of not seeing my Cancer Care NW medical staff. I do have follow-ups now, but only every three months. Daniel's regime is different than mine. I experienced the weekly, then monthly, and now every three months check-up. I experienced the blood draws as virtually painless procedures. I hope your experiences are similar to mine. 

How is your sister doing? I think of you two often. If there is an energy that goes between people, I send you my thoughts for both of you reaching a new normal that works for you.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on December 7, 2015 at 4:06pm
Thanks for asking, Randy. Overall I'm doing well. Everything related to my transplant has progressed nicely. The surgery was a complete success and I'm healing quite well. Last week I had my thirty-four incision staples removed. The only problems I have is dealing with the anti-rejection drugs. They are causing nausea, hand tremors, and a general feeling of malaise and aloofness. Hopefully these symptoms will diminish over time. I left the hospital on very high doses. For the next several months the doctors will be tweaking my dose levels. The anti-rejection drugs lower your immune system so the body doesn't reject the new kidney, but too low is bad and too high causes bad side effects. I'm taking these meds twice a day, every day. I was told eventually I will be on a much lower dose daily or perhaps even once weekly. All this takes time and a lot of blood draws to determine the correct dose for me. I'm having to have my blood tested three times per week. Next week will start only twice per week for a month. The third month is once weekly. It's all a slow progression.

I'm also seeing a physical therapist twice per week to strengthen my legs, as my kidney disease caused such weekness. Getting my legs back to normal is expected to take several months.

I'm also on a 10-pound lifting restriction until December 24. Thank God the following day I'll be able to hold the baby Jesus when he arrives! :)
Comment by Bertold Brautigan on December 7, 2015 at 3:54pm

Tweak his cheek for me, Carl

Comment by Randall Smith on December 7, 2015 at 7:54am

Carl, what's the latest on your kidney transplant and all other health related issues? You're holding out on us!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on December 6, 2015 at 9:15pm

Ian, at least you can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. You're doing a good thing by putting your own priorities first.  

 

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