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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 867
Latest Activity: 6 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

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Discussion Forum

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for women, native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Chris G 6 hours ago. 2 Replies

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?On blacks:"We think they are not, and that they are not included, and were not intended to be included…. They…Continue

Tags: white, propertyless, male, indentured, survants

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Chris G on Friday. 16 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

Men who challenge men to stop violence

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Grinning Cat on Wednesday. 17 Replies

Many men join in the effort to reduce violence against women and children and other men. He speaks of the need to place responsibility on men instead of focusing on women to stop violence. He offers a breath of fresh air, as do so many of the men on…Continue

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner May 22. 83 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Joan Denoo May 19. 8 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

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Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 1:16pm

Mindy, I used all the trick I know of, and could not get your photo. Would some third party please send me the shot. I know whatever Mindy chose for her remodel will look smashing and I want to see it. Thanks. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 1:11pm

I can't believe I went into that deep, deep depression, beginning when I saw Brooklyn. It wouldn't lift, until last night, writing about it. That seemed to break the awful spell. If I were a religious person, I would say the Devil had a spell over me. It was because of episodes such as this that got me out of the church, cursing and screaming ... I seem to do a lot of that. Religion plays a huge part in the ongoing abuse of children, women, and men. 

Thank you Chris, for the kind and wise words! Your wounds and mine and countless other grown women and men carry memories of abuse by parents. Boys suffered under the lash of abusive fathers and mothers as well.

Little girls and boys have more protections now. 

My three children and their families freed from family violence, flourish in a most remarkable way. I feel gratitude and hope. 

Comment by The Flying Atheist on December 30, 2014 at 1:08pm

Nice color palate, Mindy.  Looks classy.

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on December 30, 2014 at 12:12pm

Looks great, Mindy. I can't tell for sure; are those partly transparent tiles?

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 10:41am

Looks very good, Mindy! Good colours!

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 6:45am

Joan, I'm some twenty years younger than you are. Even when I was young NO ONE talked about the justice of the status quo. No one pointed at abusive husbands, no one talked about rape within a marriage, sexism was unmentionable and all the battered women and children were said to be clumsy. Even to ask about those things was frowned upon. We still have bruises but we're so very lucky that society has changed - not everywhere, but most people have a new sense of justice. Laura came out well, and Brooklyn will have what we missed - I'm happy for her!

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 6:16am

Thanks for your kind words, Chris. Yes, I tell myself as you advise. 

My life feels triumphal because of overcoming some big challenges. My kids seem to be successful, and their families flourish by any measure. Both granddaughters stumbled around for a while; their lives seem more settled now. All of them have fun together even as they work together. I have no complaints.  I am just a whiner. 

Seeing my five-month-old great-grandaughter hit me very hard. Laura was her age when I came home from getting my hair cut and found her with bruises from head to foot. I wrapped her in a blanket and ran next door to my neighbor, a nurse. She took one look, and we headed for the ER. We entered the crowded and noisy place, my baby screaming and I was hysterical. The noises of the room quieted as the doctors and nurses examined her. All I can remember was the room, once noisy, now silent except for Laura's screams and my hysteria. The doctor took me to another office and filled me full of whatever it is they do with hysterical women. A chaplain came in; I screamed that I needed help because I couldn't stop my husband's brutality. He recognized me because I was active in the programs of the chapel and Sunday school

Doctors found no broken bones; they treated cuts and abrasions, gave her painkillers. Laura was six months old. 

I took her home. I didn't pack up the kids and leave! 

No one talked to Don about his behavior. No doctor or social worker or chaplain or psychiatrist. Col Smith held a position at Madigan Army Medical Center. An army colonel is an officer and a gentleman. 

Seeing beautiful little five-month-old Brooklyn reminded me of Laura, all those years ago. I didn't protect her. She was so little; I didn't protect her.  

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 5:14am

In hindsight we're all wise, Joan! Don't feel guilty, you probably did the best you could think of with the info you had at that time. No reason to blame yourself!

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 5:10am

I feel the same, Mindy - can't they thank the people who helped them?

I hope you get better soon, Carl, the flu is NOT what you need!

What I got for xmas is a visit from brother-in-law - let's forget it a.s.a.p! The stupid oaf did nothing but complain and talk about himself. I think he only misses us when we no longer do things for him. People like that drain my energy and give nothing in return. I keep on helping him - because my husband feels responsible for his brother.

Next week I'll be back in the classroom - YIPPEE!

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 5:07am

Randy, you asked about my health. I am fully recovered from all the cancer treatments and my life returns to normal. I sleep a lot, and don't have a lot of interest in doing anything bur reading or reading A/N mail. I feel incredibly content and happy to be alive. Thanks for asking. 

The week with my daughter was exhausting! I don't know how she does all that she accomplishes. She has her own business, takes a lot of time to be with her two daughters and their families, volunteers for the Fire District, and spends time with me. We have great fun together. My life goes very well. I'm still working on shaking the guilt of not getting out of a bad marriage and getting the kids out earlier .. but that is just wallowing in old stuff that does no one any good. I don't know what I am going to have to do to shake that guilt. 

 

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