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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 873
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

What Annoys God Most? (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris on Thursday. 9 Replies

Long story short, it's those near misses, the almost-but-not-quite, close but no cheroot moments, or, would you believe ... Near Death Experiences!  So what's the big deal?  Betty Bowers, America's BEST Christian and self-proclaimed expert on such…Continue

Tags: Near Death Experiences, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

degrading love — part one (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Nov 22. 11 Replies

Love is by many considered among the highest of positive emotions.  Yet when love of the type offered by deities is examined, something seems to go seriously wrong.  The love of Yahweh seems less a gift than a demand, not so much beneficence as a…Continue

Tags: TheraminTrees, god, love

Ning, Error 500s, and Whether to Migrate

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Nov 13. 47 Replies

I just got the following notice from Ning yesterday, (31 October, 2016), in the wake of this latest website outage:As some of you may be aware, we experienced a system outage earlier this morning. The cause was due to a specific network…Continue

Tags: downtime, Atheist Nexus, Ning

Introducing Douglas Murray

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Nov 7. 4 Replies

Most of us who have been around atheism for a while know the heavyweights of our ilk.  Names like Hitchens, Dawkins, Dennett, Harris, Dillahunty and AronRa get nearly daily mention in posts and discussions on Atheist Nexus.  One name I was…Continue

Tags: Agatan Foundation, Douglas Murray

If There's a God - She's a Woman - The Author T

Started by Joe. Last reply by Chris Nov 3. 4 Replies

I came across this story and thought some here might find it interesting and humorous.It’s titled:If There’s a GodShe’s a WomanFrom the Series:Things You Can Learn from a VaginaIts on the website TheAuthorT.com under the tab, “Free to Read…Continue

His Dark Materials and the Catholic Church

Started by Tonya R. Wheeler. Last reply by k.h. ky Oct 30. 35 Replies

I recently watched the movie, "The Golden Compass" and since I could not find the sequels, I read the books. I enjoyed them, and I will be reading the first one, Northern Lights, starting tomorrow, since it just arrived via inter-library…Continue

Tags: Fantasy, Catholic, Religion, Atheist, Pullman

Comment Wall

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Comment by BenGee on October 23, 2016 at 6:27pm

Joan, this is sad news, I wouldn't even begin to know how to help comfort you, but I agree with everyone here who also cares about you and supports you. 

Comment by k.h. ky on October 23, 2016 at 6:21pm
Joan, rest dear friend. You are in our hearts.
Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 6:21pm

Thank you, Daniel. The only ones with whom I wanted to have conversation I was blocked. We didn't talk to each other in the room about the events emerging and chose to stay with Cary and let discussion occur elsewhere. 

Last night, as the family gathered with the doctor we had the discussion in Cary's room. All the facts were laid out and we all heard the options for quality of life. Cary heard us even though he was heavily sedated. He was still communicating with his hands. We asked if option one was a tracheotomy  and two was to take him off all medication and remove his breathing tubes which meant  there was a probability he could not breath on his own and his heart support would stop. Cary chose #2. We all agreed and the process began. He died in a very few minutes, peacefully. 

Comment by Qiana-Maieev on October 23, 2016 at 6:14pm

Sad to hear Joan, but its good your son is no longer in pain & battling that awful disease.

Now you need to rest & recover yourself.

Comment by Daniel Wachenheim on October 23, 2016 at 6:08pm

Joan, thank you for the update.  Everyone understand that you were not in a position to send messages.

I know that you know how much people here care about you and what happens in your life.  If there is anything that you need that we can provide, let us know.  If not on here, then via email.

Now the most important thing is to get rest and do what you always do best - assess your situation and come up with solutions.  The most important part of that is getting the rest and not feeling pressured.

You are a true friend to everyone here, including me.  Thank you again for the update.  Despite all of his misfortune, Cary was very fortunate to have you and the family that you built and nurtured.

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 5:53pm

And I thought of those of you who overcame life's challenged.

Randy, I did not mean that you overcame alcoholism, I meant you have overcome powers beyond your ability to control. You raised your family and now have grandchildren to love.

Daniel, thank you for the link to ending Citizen's United. I will read it thoughtfully (meaning full of thought). 

Spud, in my experience of being a firebrand feminist in a sexist community, and an atheist in a Christian community, I understand what you say. The thing that works for me is to speak, write, and act, on well thought-out  principles with competence and confidence, i.e. C,C, squard.  I also learned to have a tough skin; don't take vicious attacks personally, even as you do not accept the nonsense slung your way. Be ready to duck and run; gather your strength to think and act another day. You will find like-minded people and begin to grow a coalition. Many poses more power than an individual; however the individual has to take the risks. 

Thank you all for your support while I went through a death with dignity of a son. Your words comforted me, profoundly. I could not send messages to you because all the messages that I tried to send from the hospital would not go through.I discovered there was an easy fix but only after leaving there this morning. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 5:36pm

Daniel, I agree with your political statement 100% and will have a lot more to say about it when I am rested. Sleeping in a hospital chair with bells, buzzers, and whistles going off day and night, I had little sleep. I know you understand. 

Randy, I thought of you as our little family gathered together to celebrate Cary's life, his overcoming alcoholism, and his responsible care of me for the last few years. 

Randy, hug your children and their offsprings often and tell them you love them. Life is so very precious and can melt before your eyes. That little spark exists for such a short period, even when it seems forever, it is not.  

I went to the stars knowing our atoms are "Part of starstuff" The October/November night sky presents another period of change. I grow comfort knowing that we are all part of each other. We need each other and build and destroy together. 

Look at what has happened to Syria or Yemen or Palestine in today's environment,  That is what will happen in the United State if we have another war, our building in shambles, lives and ways of life will change. 

Look at the dispute about climate change and know we have an opportunity to learn and live in nonviolent ways. We can make the effort to restore health to the planet or we can comfort each other as the planet responds to our choices. If we can do it, others can too. 

I love you, dear friends, even though I have never seen you in person, I have read our writings and shared ideas with you. That is enough to create a true friend. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 5:12pm

Please excuse my misspellings, even my proofreading was not working. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 5:11pm

This morning at 12: 27 AM Cary died of esophageal cancer with the aid of a doctor. His body was ravaged with the disease and was not able to have any operable or radiology that would prolong his live for many more days of life. He has been on palliative care since I took him to the ER as he hemorrhaged blood. 

The doctors, nurses and staff performed their arts and sciences impeccably and provided me with the clear description of what was happening in his body. Craig returned from Colorado, Laura and her husband and two daughters were with him for the afternoon and into the night. We discussed the prognosis with a clear understanding of what was happening and our options. We chose to pull the plug and see what would happen. They all stayed for the procedure and we touched his arms and legs as he breathed his last breath. It was very simple, just turned off the machines and he was gone within an hour. He was in no pain. We comforted each other.

Cary had a cough since last spring and we all, family and neighbors, and friends tried to talk him into going in. He refused, with strong anger. Laura talked to him privately why he would't go to the doctor and he said he had to take care of me. 

On Tuesday morning at 4:00 AM he woke me up hemorrhaging  blood. We went into the ER, immediately to ICU and processes began. He was in excruciating pain and was immediately heavily sedated. The family agreed on palliative care and then on Friday nigh all members of the family agreed that the tumor was not treatable, and with the advice of all the doctors involved, we agreed to pulling the plugs on all the machines. 

He breathed softly for a few minutes and then he was gone. 

Cary provided me faithful, loving, compassionate care as I was so very sick. I have many happy memories of him and he left us a legacy of a graceful and grateful death. 

I am at peace knowing he is out of pain, chemicals, and machines in order to stay alive for no longer than a month. 

Laura asked for a chaplain and she explained to him that Cary was an atheist and wanted no religious language in his comments. His thoughts and words comforted me and I could kiss Cary for the last time and walk away. 

I love you Cary, Mom 

Comment by Joan Denoo on October 23, 2016 at 4:46pm

I enjoy watching this family grow up even if they are teaching their children gender roles. There is much about their style that comforts me. The children's names are biblical but I don't hear biblical language. The parents are so different then my parents or me for the first ten years of their childhood that I enjoy a less violent way to raise children. I know some of you won't like it; go ahead express your opinion, I am able to have a  conversation with those who disagree with me. 

 

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