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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 878
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

God's Annual Performance Review (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Monday. 6 Replies

I don't know about you guys, but there wasn't a performance review I had in 30 years of field service that I didn't LOATHE.  It seems as though Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, is up for turning the tables on the person you would expect would…Continue

Tags: review, performance, god, American's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Learning a Language as a Mature Adult

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 2. 28 Replies

Trying to keep my mind exercised, and not interested in most of the reading materials that I can find.I decided to attempt to learn a language.  Actually, two.  The dilemma is, how do I do that without going to school - not an option - and without…Continue

The Playboy Interview: Richard Dawkins

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris Feb 19. 14 Replies

I suppose it was the news that Playboy magazine was returning nudes to its pages after a year's hiatus that sufficiently perked my curiosity to check them out again.  I hadn't looked at Playboy since perhaps 2008, when I began to recognize that I…Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Playboy

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Grinning Cat Feb 13. 9 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

degrading love — part two (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Feb 11. 1 Reply

TheraminTrees set up religion with his left in Part One of his treatise on how religion demeans and degrades the value of love.  Here in Part Two, he brings in a devastating, "Mike Tyson" right, which negates and invalidates any claim that either…Continue

Tags: Christianity, Islam, TheraminTrees, god, love

Questions......

Started by Thomas Murray. Last reply by k.h. ky Feb 9. 6 Replies

   It has been 6 month now since I signed up for Atheist Nexus membership. The past year has been sort of a bi-polar wave of emotions for me. I hope I wasn't offensive to the folks on here and I think I have been but I don't know to who. My desire…Continue

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Comment by Idaho Spud on December 30, 2014 at 1:31pm

Comment by Ian Mason on December 30, 2014 at 1:19pm

Joan, guilt is a vindictive bastard that really knows how to trip you up just when you're feeling fine. I still feel terrible about what a terrible father I was when I drank (not abusive though). Your Yule get-together sounds wonderful so let that, and all the good you've done since those bad days tip the balance a long way over in your favour.

Carl, I hope you feel better soon.

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 1:16pm

Mindy, I used all the trick I know of, and could not get your photo. Would some third party please send me the shot. I know whatever Mindy chose for her remodel will look smashing and I want to see it. Thanks. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 1:11pm

I can't believe I went into that deep, deep depression, beginning when I saw Brooklyn. It wouldn't lift, until last night, writing about it. That seemed to break the awful spell. If I were a religious person, I would say the Devil had a spell over me. It was because of episodes such as this that got me out of the church, cursing and screaming ... I seem to do a lot of that. Religion plays a huge part in the ongoing abuse of children, women, and men. 

Thank you Chris, for the kind and wise words! Your wounds and mine and countless other grown women and men carry memories of abuse by parents. Boys suffered under the lash of abusive fathers and mothers as well.

Little girls and boys have more protections now. 

My three children and their families freed from family violence, flourish in a most remarkable way. I feel gratitude and hope. 

Comment by The Flying Atheist on December 30, 2014 at 1:08pm

Nice color palate, Mindy.  Looks classy.

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on December 30, 2014 at 12:12pm

Looks great, Mindy. I can't tell for sure; are those partly transparent tiles?

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 10:41am

Looks very good, Mindy! Good colours!

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 6:45am

Joan, I'm some twenty years younger than you are. Even when I was young NO ONE talked about the justice of the status quo. No one pointed at abusive husbands, no one talked about rape within a marriage, sexism was unmentionable and all the battered women and children were said to be clumsy. Even to ask about those things was frowned upon. We still have bruises but we're so very lucky that society has changed - not everywhere, but most people have a new sense of justice. Laura came out well, and Brooklyn will have what we missed - I'm happy for her!

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 30, 2014 at 6:16am

Thanks for your kind words, Chris. Yes, I tell myself as you advise. 

My life feels triumphal because of overcoming some big challenges. My kids seem to be successful, and their families flourish by any measure. Both granddaughters stumbled around for a while; their lives seem more settled now. All of them have fun together even as they work together. I have no complaints.  I am just a whiner. 

Seeing my five-month-old great-grandaughter hit me very hard. Laura was her age when I came home from getting my hair cut and found her with bruises from head to foot. I wrapped her in a blanket and ran next door to my neighbor, a nurse. She took one look, and we headed for the ER. We entered the crowded and noisy place, my baby screaming and I was hysterical. The noises of the room quieted as the doctors and nurses examined her. All I can remember was the room, once noisy, now silent except for Laura's screams and my hysteria. The doctor took me to another office and filled me full of whatever it is they do with hysterical women. A chaplain came in; I screamed that I needed help because I couldn't stop my husband's brutality. He recognized me because I was active in the programs of the chapel and Sunday school

Doctors found no broken bones; they treated cuts and abrasions, gave her painkillers. Laura was six months old. 

I took her home. I didn't pack up the kids and leave! 

No one talked to Don about his behavior. No doctor or social worker or chaplain or psychiatrist. Col Smith held a position at Madigan Army Medical Center. An army colonel is an officer and a gentleman. 

Seeing beautiful little five-month-old Brooklyn reminded me of Laura, all those years ago. I didn't protect her. She was so little; I didn't protect her.  

Comment by Plinius on December 30, 2014 at 5:14am

In hindsight we're all wise, Joan! Don't feel guilty, you probably did the best you could think of with the info you had at that time. No reason to blame yourself!

 

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