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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 884
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

The myth of religions

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo on Saturday. 3 Replies

The creation myth of civilizations instructs men to dominate, to conquer, to go forth and multiply. No reasonable person would pay attention to such a god. No hunter-gatherer receives such a senseless message from wise elders.However, that idea…Continue

Tags: masculine, violation, imperative, go forth and multiply,, conquest

Winter Driving, Preparing for the worst

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Feb 1. 2 Replies

Now that we enter the time the Celtics called Imbolc, a pagan celebration of the beginning of spring and season of new life, I ran across this video on preparing for winter driving. It offers reasons for each thing he puts in his vehicles to be safe…Continue

Tags: prepare, driving, winter

A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Chris Dec 26, 2017. 10 Replies

I received a gift this morning from a virtual friend, Pamela Smith:A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :" One day an old wise teacher was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have…Continue

10 Tricks from 46 (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Nov 6, 2017. 3 Replies

Apparently, Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, has been slumming.  That is to say, she's been talking to Mike Pence [gasp!].  It would seem as though Mike has offered some of his not-so-personal tricks of the trade on how to be a 21st century…Continue

Tags: tricks, Mike Pence, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Grinning Cat Oct 19, 2017. 99 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on December 9, 2015 at 5:15am
Comment by kathy: ky on December 8, 2015 at 6:28pm
Yes Ruth and my vision is 20/20. You were correct when you said it is easy and worth it. Kidney transplants, or any transplant, are a much different story. But they can give a person life. It's amazing what modern medicine can do.
Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on December 8, 2015 at 2:27pm

Thanks for your health update, Flying Atheist. <sigh> It can be hard to come back when the medicine makes you feel bad. At least you can expect things to ease over time. Meanwhile, be careful to avoid contagious people.

Ian, it will be over soon. Too bad you can't just join the ranks of the retired after your three month vacation.

Thanks for the good news, k.h. ky. I assume your vision is good now. My husband just got his second adjustable artificial lens and has to do 12 weeks of eye exercises. Did you get the traditional kind, as I did?

Comment by kathy: ky on December 8, 2015 at 1:41pm
Randy, not a problem! Cataract surgery is nothing. In and out in less than an hour with an excellent outcome! Nothing to it.
Comment by Randall Smith on December 8, 2015 at 8:24am

Sorry I forgot to ask about you, Kathy! It's just that cataract surgery is really no big deal, certainly not compared to a kidney transplant. Thanks, Carl, for the update. Glad to hear of your progress, albeit a slow and frustrating one.

For me, this group site is a good place to air out our problems, concerns, and happenings. Joan's move, Daniel's upcoming retirement (and health issues), Ian's work woes, Carl of course, etc. I feel quite fortunate not to have any major personal issues. I know I have a selfish streak in me, so I try to compensate by asking about others. Afterall, we all like to talk about ourselves.

Comment by kathy: ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:11pm
Joan I join you in thanking Randy for thinking to ask about Carl's health.
I had my last cataract surgery and hadn't been on here much while I was trying to put three types drops in my eye four times a day. I couldn't see much while that was being done. Now that both eyes are finished, and I'm down to two eye drop a day I'm amazed at what I can see. And the procedures were the easiest things I've ever had done.
Comment by kathy: ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:03pm
Carl, l had a young sister in law that had a kidney transplant and I remember her meds being tweaked. It takes a while but after you get the correct dose it's much less tiring and time consuming. How is your sister recovering?


Ian, you're almost there now. Just a few more days and you have it made!
Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 5:31pm

Ian, sorry to learn of your malaise. Depression can be a dreadful experience. I urge you to do everything you can to get out of the dumps.  Worry can be so debilitating; it saps your energy and the energy of those who care about you. 

There are many kinds of therapy and some work quickly and get one back on one's feet, others seem not to be so effective. 

I prefer "Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is designed to help people find new ways of dealing with hurtful thoughts and behaviors. Instead of delving into the past to determine where a feeling or emotion comes from, CBT helps patients become more aware of how their beliefs or actions are contributing to depression. Once those are identified, a therapist will work with his or her patient to replace those negative attitudes with more positive ones. There may be daily or weekly exercises and guidance involved to help patients apply the skills they learn in therapy to the real world. Research has shown that many people who undergo CBT for depression see significant improvement."

Learning new skills, identifying situations that influence me to feel anger, fear, sadness, guilt, or shame, and then exploring ways to solve a problem if it is solvable, or learning ways to let go of the hurtful feelings, or accept reality without creating delusions. 

Many people turn to religion for a crutch when they feel helpless or hopeless. That is just another delusion and doesn't solve anything. Some claim to feel better with religion; it is a mental construct that allows them to give the problem to god and let go. 

Letting go of a bad feeling requires solving a problem or reframing the experience into a healthy way of thinking. For example, when a person experiences the death of a child, instead of giving the pain to god, a healthy response is to face the reality of the loss, express gratitude for the one who died. Reframe the grief into gratitude.

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:50pm

Randy, thanks for asking Carl for his update. I watch each mail to see if there is a word from him even as I know the recovery of energy level takes time. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:47pm

Carl, thank you for the update. I am very happy to learn the surgery and hospital experience went well and you came home ready to walk the road to recovery.

Your regime sounds very similar to my follow-up. When the first year was over, I felt a loss of not seeing my Cancer Care NW medical staff. I do have follow-ups now, but only every three months. Daniel's regime is different than mine. I experienced the weekly, then monthly, and now every three months check-up. I experienced the blood draws as virtually painless procedures. I hope your experiences are similar to mine. 

How is your sister doing? I think of you two often. If there is an energy that goes between people, I send you my thoughts for both of you reaching a new normal that works for you.

 

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