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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 876
Latest Activity: yesterday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

The Playboy Interview: Richard Dawkins

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris on Sunday. 14 Replies

I suppose it was the news that Playboy magazine was returning nudes to its pages after a year's hiatus that sufficiently perked my curiosity to check them out again.  I hadn't looked at Playboy since perhaps 2008, when I began to recognize that I…Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Playboy

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Grinning Cat Feb 13. 9 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

degrading love — part two (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Feb 11. 1 Reply

TheraminTrees set up religion with his left in Part One of his treatise on how religion demeans and degrades the value of love.  Here in Part Two, he brings in a devastating, "Mike Tyson" right, which negates and invalidates any claim that either…Continue

Tags: Christianity, Islam, TheraminTrees, god, love

Questions......

Started by Thomas Murray. Last reply by k.h. ky Feb 9. 6 Replies

   It has been 6 month now since I signed up for Atheist Nexus membership. The past year has been sort of a bi-polar wave of emotions for me. I hope I wasn't offensive to the folks on here and I think I have been but I don't know to who. My desire…Continue

Proud Dad is REALLY Proud Now!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Chris Jan 31. 15 Replies

As some of you may or may not know, my daughter is a television news producer, currently working in Nashville, Tennessee.  Her assignment is the morning news, which means she blasts herself up at umpti-ump in the morning to organize and prepare a…Continue

Tags: Emmy, news, television, daughter, dad

Men who challenge men to stop violence

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Idaho Spud Jan 9. 19 Replies

Many men join in the effort to reduce violence against women and children and other men. He speaks of the need to place responsibility on men instead of focusing on women to stop violence. He offers a breath of fresh air, as do so many of the men on…Continue

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Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 7:54am

Mindy - how fun! What kind of countertops are you installing?

Comment by Randall Smith on November 21, 2014 at 7:35am

Carl, sorry about the rescheduling. Also, "praying for you". That boils my blood. Except for my stupid ex-wife, my family (kids and 2 sisters) are pretty respectful of my nonbelief. No meal prayers, for example (at least not outloud).

Felaine, your insights, wisdom, and wit are awesome!

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 21, 2014 at 6:47am

Thanks Patricia.  The "I have this book" one will probably go to my sister when I respond to her saying "We'll have to agree to disagree."  

I've been wanting to tell her I don't agree to disagree, because that makes it sound like our arguments are equal, when they're not.  Her arguments have no good evidence behind them, while mine have mountains of good scientific evidence.

Comment by sk8eycat on November 21, 2014 at 12:51am

Oh, Patricia!  GOOD stuff!  Thanks for posting ALL of it!  <3

Comment by sk8eycat on November 20, 2014 at 5:19pm

Carl, this is kinda cruel, but controlled experiments have been done with heart surgery patients, and the results were very weird.  The patients who had been told they were being prayed for did worse than any other group.

Try telling your mother to pray all she wants, but not to tell you about it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 20, 2014 at 5:05pm

Carl, you wrote that your mother said, 

"everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works."

If your mother's statement and the statements of others bother you, the trick is to reframe the experience. Especially with someone you love as much as your mother. Demonstrate to her and others that you put your full confidence in your medical team and in your strong desire to be healthy.

At the same time you know that there is an extremely high probability that prayers don't work because there is no god to hear them. I don't think it is wise to make the claim there is no god or prayer does not work, because you could be asked to prove your claim. It isn't possible to provide such proof. 

Because you know those who believe in superstitions depend on something that does not probably exist, and they feel hopeless and helpless to take away the disease, they want very much to help. They care about you. 

If you can acknowledge their care with a genuine appreciation, while at the same time tell them what you really need. You, and many others need their active participation in fundraising for those in treatment, or for liver research. That way, you give them an out. That is something they can do, hopefully, and it isn't cheap prayers.

My rage was so powerful it showed when others said they would pray for me. I had to reframe my experience. I was rather blunt, even bold, in asking them to take part in some real effort to fight cancer. 

You could suggest to them that they could volunteer time to help you by driving you to appointments or doing grocery shopping, or just sitting with you. Or they could work to raise money to help patients with expenses, or for liver research. Or volunteer at the treatment center. 

One friend of mine who died of cancer asked for us to read to her.  

Ask them for what you need. I know! We do not ask for help, even when we need it. We are supposed to be self-sufficient. 

Tell your mother how you feel and what you need from her. She really does want to help you, even if it is rattling bones of birds and eyeballs of gnutes. Seize the opportunity to educate her. Show her the confidence you have in your team of medical professionals. 

Comment by Plinius on November 20, 2014 at 2:23pm

Your family always know how to hurt you - and mine never missed an opportunity. Try to forget Carl, or some day you suddenly close the door to them. And I hope you'll feel better soon!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on November 20, 2014 at 1:01pm

I've been a bit absent from here.  I'm feeling fine, just very tired.  I was supposed to have a consultation with a surgeon this week concerning a quick, small surgery for my arm to ready myself for dialysis in case I get to that point.  At the last minute the doctor's office cancelled and told me the doctor will be out of the office until mid-December.  Ugh!  

But here's my real rant.......

The other day I was on the telephone with my mother, a church-going believer.  She said, Carl, I know you don't want to hear this, but everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works.

I have to honestly say that I truly felt insulted by that remark.  When I hear strangers say to me, "Have a blessed day" or when I hear them say to each other, "I'll pray for you,"  I just roll my eyes.  But hearing such a sentiment from my own mother at this time really bothered me.  It's such an insult to my intelligence, especially coming from a family member. 

Comment by Grinning Cat on November 20, 2014 at 9:20am

I remember a cartoon right after the Supremes handed the presidential election to Bush by a 5-4 vote: "I demand a recount!"

Comment by sk8eycat on November 20, 2014 at 8:45am

Too bad Cheney didn' blast Scalia with his shotgun while they were out hunting drinks....would have improved his face:

Dishonorable SCOTUS Justice to American Democracy: 'Go Fuck Yourself'
RELATED: Al Gore Must Run Again...
By Brad Friedman on 1/25/2007, 11:52am PT  

AP reports the following comments made Tuesday by the unimpeached Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia concerning his decision to overthrow American democracy in the 2000 Presidential Election:

"It's water over the deck - get over it," Scalia said, drawing laughs from his audience.

We wonder what other decisions by the SCOTUS that Americans should "get over." We wonder if the voters of Florida who were denied their expressed intent to elect Al Gore should also "get over it." Doubtless, the more than 3000 U.S. troops killed by George W. Bush's unnecessary war have no choice but to "get over it."

Deceptively attempting to justify his wholly incorrect and unconstitutional decision by playing the unequally applied "Equal Protection Clause" card once again, Scalia reportedly added, "Counting somebody else's dimpled chad and not counting my dimpled chad is not giving equal protection of the law."

Interestingly enough, Scalia and the SCOTUS have stood by and allowed all forms of un-Equal Protection in Elections ever since --- from the myriad different voting systems and "standards" now used, to the myriad ways in which votes by voters in the very same county are counted differently and at different times. In other words, the repugnant democracy-hating Scalia is full of shit.

As pointed out --- though somewhat cryptically --- in the AP piece by Mark Sherman, subsequent study of the actual ballots in the state of Florida in 2000 showed that, in fact, had all of the them actually been counted (we know, it's a quaint idea) Gore would have won [PDF] the state, and thus the Presidency.

Speaking of which, Rolling Stone's Tim Dickinson says: Run, Al, Run. We concur, and offer John Lennon's "(Just Like) Starting Over" as our suggestion for the campaign's victory song.

 

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