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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 867
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Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

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Discussion Forum

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for women, native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner 13 hours ago. 3 Replies

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?On blacks:"We think they are not, and that they are not included, and were not intended to be included…. They…Continue

Tags: white, propertyless, male, indentured, survants

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Chris G on Friday. 16 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

Men who challenge men to stop violence

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Grinning Cat May 24. 17 Replies

Many men join in the effort to reduce violence against women and children and other men. He speaks of the need to place responsibility on men instead of focusing on women to stop violence. He offers a breath of fresh air, as do so many of the men on…Continue

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner May 22. 83 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Joan Denoo May 19. 8 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

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Comment by sk8eycat on May 5, 2014 at 1:37am

Patricia, sometimes I could weep for you, and for others in here who had crappy childhoods.  Mine wasn't perfect, but both my parents encouraged me to ask questions and explore whatever interested me...even my semi-fundie mother.  Things didn't go bad till my early teens when Dad dove into a bottle of gin, and stayed there till after I "ran away to join the circus (ice show)."

I never, EVER invited a boyfriend into the house; I always waited for them on the front porch or on the corner, because I was ashamed of the old man passed out on the sofa.  But that's all; I was never told that I was worthless or going to some imaginary place of torment.

Dad sobered up (after an ugly family intervention that I'm glad I missed), I came home, and went to work for him for 7 years till he fell off the wagon, and I went back with Holiday till I had an appendicitis attack and surgery and was off the ice for 3 months.

I was extremely fortunate that the attack happened while we were playing Los Angeles, and I was living at home at the time.  I was also glad that I was still out of the show a few weeks later when we would have been in Memphis...that was the week MLK was murdered....

I went back to a different unit that summer, hated it, sprained my ankle while we were still in rehearsal, and got sent home.  All my luggage got sent to SFO.

I decided that at 28, living out of  suitcase wasn't the adventure it was when I was 18, and went back to bookkeeping and escrow work.  I still actually enjoy reconciling bank statements and doing manual ledger-keeping.  Making the books balance is sort like getting an ephemeral pat on the back.

Comment by Plinius on May 5, 2014 at 1:28am

Glad it's over, Patricia, and you did it so very well! Congrats!  I'm now also able to keep my balance when I meet the last remnants of my family, but they never make me feel good. Perhaps I should clear them out too.

Comment by sk8eycat on May 5, 2014 at 12:27am

Patricia. I'm so glad the Wicked Weekend is finally over!  You did everything right, and maybe, Just maybe, gave both your daughter and the maternal unit a few things to think about.

As for "forgiving & forgetting," that's bullshit, unless you're referring to cheating at cards, or accidentally tripping somebody...minor stuff.  There a a few individuals on this planet who have hurt me much less than your so-called family has hurt you, and I still will not see them or talk to them, because I know that they are more concerned with themselves than they are with the rest of the world, and I'm in no shape to give them a chance to hurt me again.  And I know they will; they can't help it, and they wonder why they have no friends anymore.

YOU have friends, and a husband who loves you, and will back you up no matter what, and you know what that means?

YOU ARE A WINNER!

Comment by k.h. ky on May 4, 2014 at 4:31pm
Patricia, you did good. I'm not big on forgiveness either but sometimes we gotta tolerate. You tolerated with style.
Comment by Joan Denoo on May 4, 2014 at 3:08pm

Ian a lovely photo of meadow flowers. Oh! to create such a scene! 

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 4, 2014 at 2:40pm

Oh! Patricia! You did it! You were in control of your feelings and not intimidated by her. You won that battle! Even of more importance, you have the tools to take on such people and so gain your own power. Felaine gave you excellent advice. 

One form of powerlessness is doing the opposite of what the powerful one wants and expects. That isn't freedom, that is dependence. So is doing what you think will please her. That is dependence. 

To be free of such influence, you called the shots, you made it a pleasant event for yourself, and my goodness, what a lovely way to have a nice dinner and breakfast, you enjoyed it, and so did your husband, I suspect. So it made no difference to you what she wanted or didn't want you to do. 

You are now FREE and NOT DEPENDENT!

Comment by Ian Mason on May 4, 2014 at 2:33pm

Glad to hear your news, Patricia. Well done. By the way, with that kind of feed on offer you can dislike me anytime :-D

Comment by Idaho Spud on May 4, 2014 at 1:49pm

Patricia beat me to it Ian.  I also love the colors.  I love multicolored multi-type wildflowers!

Comment by Idaho Spud on May 4, 2014 at 1:46pm

If my mormon ex-wife ever came to visit again, I don't know if I would hug her or not.  She was not as bad as your mom Patricia, so if she wanted to, I probably would.

Comment by Idaho Spud on May 4, 2014 at 1:45pm

Congratulations Patricia.  Sounds like it went as good as could be expected.  I can believe you are Damn glad it's over!

 

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