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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 865
Latest Activity: yesterday

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

The Burial Waltz

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Donatien Alphonse François Apr 26. 4 Replies

Hi everyone,It was almost a half-century ago, at age 15 or so, that I encountered one of the more important influences in my life: a crazy group of poets/musicians who called themselves The Fugs.They had a huge impact on me in that, though raised in…Continue

Some William Blake to Ponder

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Donatien Alphonse François Apr 25. 6 Replies

Hello all,I'm new here, and so hope this isn't old hat. But, I just had to point you toward a marvelous poem by William Blake in case you've never read it. Despite his sometimes heavily tinged biblical references in his other art and poetry, this…Continue

God's Not Dead - The Christian Persecution Complex (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Annie Willis Apr 20. 7 Replies

Doubtless most if not all of you have heard about that sorry piece of cinema known as God's Not Dead, and perhaps its sequel, cleverly entitled: God's Not Dead 2 (wow, how original!).  Personally, I have wasted neither time nor money on either,…Continue

Tags: God's Not Dead, patheos, Neil Carter, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Confirmed: flagged by religious people for "bullying."

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Loren Miller Apr 19. 4 Replies

According to Seth Andrews @SethAndrewsTTA  Apr 16"Confirmed. TTA was flagged by religious people for "bullying." Apparently, criticism and skepticism = persecution. #GodHatesFacts"Others reported as "Flagged" and taken off line: @The Thinking…Continue

Tags: @SethAndrewsTTA, @morehead_sarah, @Matt_Dillahunty, @jteberhard, confirmed

The Value of Atheist Nexus ... and of Keeping Contact

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 17. 13 Replies

I don't know about you, but the last 24+ hours were VERY uncomfortable for me.  Why?  Because something I value a LOT, being Atheist Nexus and the people I care about on A|N were temporarily unavailable to me.  No, we're not Facebook; I don't think…Continue

Tags: maintenance, community, availability, Atheist Nexus

Atheist Pig STRIKES AGAIN!!!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Qiana-Maieev Apr 5. 1 Reply

There's no getting around it, Atheist Pig is fast becoming my fave secular comic, and as evidence, I refer you to the following.  Jesus and Mo had better watch their respective asses, 'cuz they got a porker coming up on the outside, and I'm pretty…Continue

Tags: Atheist Pig

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on December 9, 2015 at 5:15am
Comment by k.h. ky on December 8, 2015 at 6:28pm
Yes Ruth and my vision is 20/20. You were correct when you said it is easy and worth it. Kidney transplants, or any transplant, are a much different story. But they can give a person life. It's amazing what modern medicine can do.
Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on December 8, 2015 at 2:27pm

Thanks for your health update, Flying Atheist. <sigh> It can be hard to come back when the medicine makes you feel bad. At least you can expect things to ease over time. Meanwhile, be careful to avoid contagious people.

Ian, it will be over soon. Too bad you can't just join the ranks of the retired after your three month vacation.

Thanks for the good news, k.h. ky. I assume your vision is good now. My husband just got his second adjustable artificial lens and has to do 12 weeks of eye exercises. Did you get the traditional kind, as I did?

Comment by k.h. ky on December 8, 2015 at 1:41pm
Randy, not a problem! Cataract surgery is nothing. In and out in less than an hour with an excellent outcome! Nothing to it.
Comment by Randall Smith on December 8, 2015 at 8:24am

Sorry I forgot to ask about you, Kathy! It's just that cataract surgery is really no big deal, certainly not compared to a kidney transplant. Thanks, Carl, for the update. Glad to hear of your progress, albeit a slow and frustrating one.

For me, this group site is a good place to air out our problems, concerns, and happenings. Joan's move, Daniel's upcoming retirement (and health issues), Ian's work woes, Carl of course, etc. I feel quite fortunate not to have any major personal issues. I know I have a selfish streak in me, so I try to compensate by asking about others. Afterall, we all like to talk about ourselves.

Comment by k.h. ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:11pm
Joan I join you in thanking Randy for thinking to ask about Carl's health.
I had my last cataract surgery and hadn't been on here much while I was trying to put three types drops in my eye four times a day. I couldn't see much while that was being done. Now that both eyes are finished, and I'm down to two eye drop a day I'm amazed at what I can see. And the procedures were the easiest things I've ever had done.
Comment by k.h. ky on December 7, 2015 at 10:03pm
Carl, l had a young sister in law that had a kidney transplant and I remember her meds being tweaked. It takes a while but after you get the correct dose it's much less tiring and time consuming. How is your sister recovering?


Ian, you're almost there now. Just a few more days and you have it made!
Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 5:31pm

Ian, sorry to learn of your malaise. Depression can be a dreadful experience. I urge you to do everything you can to get out of the dumps.  Worry can be so debilitating; it saps your energy and the energy of those who care about you. 

There are many kinds of therapy and some work quickly and get one back on one's feet, others seem not to be so effective. 

I prefer "Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is designed to help people find new ways of dealing with hurtful thoughts and behaviors. Instead of delving into the past to determine where a feeling or emotion comes from, CBT helps patients become more aware of how their beliefs or actions are contributing to depression. Once those are identified, a therapist will work with his or her patient to replace those negative attitudes with more positive ones. There may be daily or weekly exercises and guidance involved to help patients apply the skills they learn in therapy to the real world. Research has shown that many people who undergo CBT for depression see significant improvement."

Learning new skills, identifying situations that influence me to feel anger, fear, sadness, guilt, or shame, and then exploring ways to solve a problem if it is solvable, or learning ways to let go of the hurtful feelings, or accept reality without creating delusions. 

Many people turn to religion for a crutch when they feel helpless or hopeless. That is just another delusion and doesn't solve anything. Some claim to feel better with religion; it is a mental construct that allows them to give the problem to god and let go. 

Letting go of a bad feeling requires solving a problem or reframing the experience into a healthy way of thinking. For example, when a person experiences the death of a child, instead of giving the pain to god, a healthy response is to face the reality of the loss, express gratitude for the one who died. Reframe the grief into gratitude.

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:50pm

Randy, thanks for asking Carl for his update. I watch each mail to see if there is a word from him even as I know the recovery of energy level takes time. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on December 7, 2015 at 4:47pm

Carl, thank you for the update. I am very happy to learn the surgery and hospital experience went well and you came home ready to walk the road to recovery.

Your regime sounds very similar to my follow-up. When the first year was over, I felt a loss of not seeing my Cancer Care NW medical staff. I do have follow-ups now, but only every three months. Daniel's regime is different than mine. I experienced the weekly, then monthly, and now every three months check-up. I experienced the blood draws as virtually painless procedures. I hope your experiences are similar to mine. 

How is your sister doing? I think of you two often. If there is an energy that goes between people, I send you my thoughts for both of you reaching a new normal that works for you.

 

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