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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 867
Latest Activity: 1 minute ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for women, native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner 23 hours ago. 3 Replies

Did the American Revolution produce significant benefits for native Americans, blacks, propertyless white males, and indentured servants?On blacks:"We think they are not, and that they are not included, and were not intended to be included…. They…Continue

Tags: white, propertyless, male, indentured, survants

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Chris G on Friday. 16 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

Men who challenge men to stop violence

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Grinning Cat May 24. 17 Replies

Many men join in the effort to reduce violence against women and children and other men. He speaks of the need to place responsibility on men instead of focusing on women to stop violence. He offers a breath of fresh air, as do so many of the men on…Continue

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner May 22. 83 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Such Lyrics!

Started by Donatien Alphonse François. Last reply by Joan Denoo May 19. 8 Replies

Hello Friends,I was ruminating a bit today on my sixty-some years existence. My mind went back to teenage years when I first figured out religion is not only obnoxiously loud, but also nothing I wanted anything to do with. Truly. I knew by age 15…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Steph S. on October 2, 2013 at 4:36pm

Hi Carl - just saw that post - nope I was not in Chicago- but I have an invisible plane like Melinda said. It makes traveling much easier.

Comment by Steph S. on October 2, 2013 at 4:34pm

Comment by Steph S. on October 2, 2013 at 4:34pm

What cool pics - Ruth I love the Spock one - Very big Star Trek fan and I really like the cute animal pics posted here.

So how is everyone doing? I can't believe Oct is here already! Where has the year gone?

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on September 30, 2013 at 7:51pm

Have a happy October, Everyone!

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on September 30, 2013 at 2:01pm

Good luck with your new cat, sk8eycat. I hope Pumpkin lives long and prospers with Fred.

Comment by Joan Denoo on September 30, 2013 at 12:33pm

Mindy, I know the angst! My greatest hope was that I could teach my kids independence and self-reliance before I died. Damn! they are so independent I need not have worried. Those early 20s are a tough time, but then, so were the 10s and 30s.  

Jeez! Cary turned 50 in Sept and the twins will be 50 in Feb. They all survived and flourished. Just think of all those years I fussed and stressed out. To be honest, I was scared to death I would not be able to raise responsible adults. 

If I had it to do over, I would worry less and enjoy more. I would make sure they had basic interpersonal skills of communication, problem solving, conflict resolution and tools to empower their self-sufficiency. 

We raised all our own vegetables and fruits from the time they were 10 until they left home. They learned how to fix all kinds of household appliances and make repairs on equipment. They bought and supported their first cars themselves and had to support their clothing purchases from 16 years on. They participated in household chores until the day they left my household. 

I was forced into these tactics because of my divorce when they were 10. Looking back, I should have had them doing these things when we had way more money than we needed to survive. As it turns out, they were able and willing to participate during their growing,  and now raise their kids with responsibilities as well as right. 

If I learned anything in all this, is the overrating of "obedience" as a rule of life. It teaches dependence. One has to look for direction outside oneself in order to be obedient. Not a good value system. 

Well, there is no comfort for you in my mini-lecture, just some ideas about letting go and trusting your kids to learn what they need in order to fully function as a flourishing adult. I don't have any knowledge about depression to offer. 

Comment by Ian Mason on September 30, 2013 at 1:00am

Enjoy the new house-mate, Felaine.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on September 29, 2013 at 10:47pm

Hey, Steph.  Were you recently in Chicago waiting for the train?

Comment by Joan Denoo on September 29, 2013 at 8:14pm

I wonder how Pumpkins and Fred would do with a wind up mouse, or a ball of yarn? Would they fight? or participate? Or perhaps a group of boxes, big and small? 

Comment by sk8eycat on September 29, 2013 at 7:40pm

I don't know why, but "Fred" is a good cat name...IMO, anyway.  We had a (male) Fred when I was in my 20s...he was red, so he was "Red Fred."

Heard some hisses, and Pumpkin came out to complain about the interloper.  Fred is half-hiding in a cardboard carton that's lying on its side by the window wall.

Maybe I should put her personal litter box out there...

 

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