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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 885
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

10 Tricks from 46 (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Nov 6. 3 Replies

Apparently, Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, has been slumming.  That is to say, she's been talking to Mike Pence [gasp!].  It would seem as though Mike has offered some of his not-so-personal tricks of the trade on how to be a 21st century…Continue

Tags: tricks, Mike Pence, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Grinning Cat Oct 19. 99 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Plinius Sep 28. 8 Replies

I received a gift this morning from a virtual friend, Pamela Smith:A Powerful Message from an old wise teacher :" One day an old wise teacher was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have…Continue

Speak English? YOU FIRST! (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Donald R Barbera Sep 27. 5 Replies

Honestly, the title to this piece is badly under-representative of the content.  To be far more accurate, what we have here is Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, going on a rant.  Before you say it ... Say WHAAAA?  Betty Bowers ranting? …Continue

Tags: America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

10 Things About Patriotism (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Plinius Sep 26. 2 Replies

It seems as though lately, Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, is evolving into America's Best Patriot.  She has recently been taking some fairly well-aimed shots at a certain Orange Nightmare and his sycophantic hangers-on, regarding the…Continue

Tags: patriotism, Donald Trump, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

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Comment by sk8eycat on June 21, 2014 at 2:57pm

Ever since I read the symptoms of Asperger's, I have been convinced that my (now) 69-year-old sister was born with it.  She's never been diagnosed because when we were children, nobody had ever heard of it, and she has been a JeeHoover's Witless since she was in her early 20s, and they don't "believe" in any kind of mind therapy. It's too late for her, anyway.

I have NEVER heard her say "please" or "thank you" to anybody for anything.  She hasn't had any tantrums lately, but she still occasionally whines about a 1st Grade teacher who she claims singled her out for ridicule.  It hasn't sunk into her mind that I had the same teacher when I was in 1st Grade, and she was that way to everybody.

My sister isn't stupid; she has a memory like a steel trap, but she focuses on trivia most of the time.

As for "sentimental children's shows,"  YESSSSS! 

I had always promised myself that I would find a way to "leave the building" as soon as Mother no longer needed me, but it's been 20 years, and I'm still breathing.  Today I'm not very happy about that.  Nor am I proud of myself.

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 12:45pm

 Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime.

You saw that right, Joan, it lasts a lifetime, but there are ways to go on and flourish. Thanks for your love and support, but don't make me bigger than I am - I might blush!

And as you say: on to the tasks at hand!

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 11:44am

Chris, these complexities hurt at such a deep level. Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime. Your care and concern and respect for your husband is well placed and you share his burden with good sense. Yes, the questions touch into a deep place and your answer is not long. It appears you read the situation well and make a difference in your husband's life.

Growing up in a mentally healthy environment can be a rare thing, and replacing the dysfunction with well thought out remedies and caring action helps to bring about a better future.

Thank you for your honesty, and for your great heart. We all benefit by having people around us such as yourself. Know that you are not alone, and that we support you in any way we can.

OK! Now on to the tasks at hand.

 

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 11:10am

Deep question, Joan! My husband is the elder brother, and like the eldest, he feels responsible. Mother-in-law loved children but couldn't handle them at all: she neglected the first one, overprotected the second one (the Asperger), and lost the third one when he went to play on the railroad tracks with friends - 4 years old. I think the family survived rather than lived after that.    I have a deep respect for my husband that he never abandoned his family even when they hurt him, and I encouraged him to grow and get strong and confident. I fully understand that he saw no other possibility to handle the family situation. The last one of his family is b-i-l, and it's impossible to change that one.

A deep question, and perhaps a longer answer than you wanted.

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 10:36am

How does your husband handle the disrespect from his brother? Ouch! that must hurt! Is your husband younger than his brother and was he disrespected as they grew into adulthood?

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 10:29am

Yes - you can choose your partner and the in-laws are extra. B-i-l can't help that he doesn't understand love, empathy, sympathy and respect, but I keep wondering why he always watches old sentimental children's series...

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 10:02am

Is b-i-l your husband's brother? 

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 2:12am

Oh, then my husband would struggle on on his own. I see what it does to us, to be treated without respect or sympathy, like a thing without feeling. We get orders from the patient, but never thanks. I've known b-i-l for 37 years now; if we don't see him very often all goes well, but all that changed when he got that accident. We just have to work on for two months longer and then I'm going to ration the contact again. You can say that b-i-l is a patient, and that is true, but there's a limit to what I can handle.

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 1:30am

Plinius, I hear you! What is the worst that would happen if you just closed the door on this chapter of your life?

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 1:18am

The tantrums of brain-damaged, Asperger brother-in-law! I could kill him for how he treats my husband!  

 

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