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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 880
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Ignorance is Bliss: Why Religious People Seem Happier Than the 'Nones'”.

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by kathy: ky Aug 9. 4 Replies

“Highly Religious Volunteer More, Lie Less, and Claim to Be Happier”~ Houston Chronicle; “Strongly Religious People are Happier than Non-Religious”  ~ Christian Daily."The study determined that 40 percent of highly religious adults—defined as those…Continue

Tags: Nones, happiness, non-religiosity, religiosity, bliss

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

Started by Idaho Spud. Last reply by Jonathan Simeone Aug 5. 29 Replies

Today, I heard Seth Andrews talk about the question, "If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?"  My first thought was religion, but after a few seconds I decided it would be irrational or anti-scientific thinking.  That would take…Continue

Tags: anti-scientific, irrational

The Bourne Again Identity (Mr. Deity)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Aug 3. 3 Replies

There's a young man, unconscious, found tangled with the bushes which describe the edge of your property, late one evening.  Who is he?  Where did he come from?  These are the questions which confound Ward and Pam as they attempt to deal with a most…Continue

Tags: mystery, Bourne, Brian Dalton, Mr. Deity

Where The Buffalo Roam AGAIN - Allan Savory Institute

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Daniel W Jul 31. 3 Replies

Where The Buffalo Roam AGAIN - Allan Savory InstituteI have followed the Justin Rhodes family for many months and each videa is unique. this one is about their adventures in Colorado, and…Continue

Tags: restore, water, soils, bison, Rhodes

Yasmine Mohammed - Confessions of an Ex-Muslim (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Idaho Spud Jul 7. 6 Replies

Yasmine Mohammed is not your average ex-Muslim.  Not only did she get shut of Islam, she also managed to escape what was at one time the most notorious of radical Islamist organizations: Al Qaeda.  She has since documented the story of her apostasy…Continue

Tags: Islam, Al Qaeda, Yasmine Mohammed, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Comment Wall

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Comment by Lillie on May 24, 2013 at 2:52pm

Thanks for these words of wisdom, Joan.  I like your angst word because that is exactly what I felt during any religious service I was ever in.

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 24, 2013 at 2:34pm

People who demand, teach, and preach dysfunctional attitudes, beliefs, customs, tractions and values are:


Hitler, Nazism, 

 

Pol Pot ,Communist peasant farming, Cambodian genocide 

 

King Leopold II of Belgium, founder and sole owner of  Congo Free State

 

Rev. Richard C. Halverson, Presbyterian Minister

Taught me the Passive Gospel, yield, pray, obey, submit, sacrifice myself, being a battered wife was living my life in imitation of the crucified Christ and of all women I was most blessed; Rejoice in my crucifixion

.

Rev. Richar Leon, Presbyterian Minister

in his final sermon, Leon told his flock that “Peter laid out three conversions necessary for a godly life: a conversion to Jesus Christ to save one from sin; to Christ's church to save one from the "tyranny of the self"; and to Christ's mission, to carry his message to the world.”

 

All these admonitions neglect the basic needs of human thriving. There is no sin from which to be saved, there is dysfunction and much of it is caused by the foolish teaching of religions. There is no tyranny of the self, there is the mind, body, and emotion of an individual that needs nourishment and it cannot happen if you think your body is your tyrant. It is your teacher. There is no message to carry to the world. The reality is love of self, self-respect through effort, living respectfully in community, and using your mind, body, and emotions to guide you to flourish and thrive.  You are your best teacher.

When it comes to quantum physics or mathematics or history or social studies or music or art, and etc, you may need a teacher to guide you.

 

Battering spouses and parents

They tell common stories and all based on dysfunctional behaviors. Learn to function in healthy community and you will flourish. Sometimes we have to divorce our families in order to get healthy, but the price is small compared to the benefit. Another issue that often happens, if an individual from a dysfunctional family learns how to live fully mentally and physically healthy, as a mature adult, family members sometimes come to learn life skills.

 

Joan M. Denoo, 2013-05-24

Comment by Joan Denoo on May 24, 2013 at 2:33pm

We and They 

Have you noticed factors held in common by these men listed below? They all know what is best for you, they teach and/or preach a dogma based on notions of domination and exploitation, they create institutions that instruct people to submit to their ideas, to obey, to yield, to sacrifice yourself to their beliefs, they have faith in ideas based on power over, not power with, and many people under their influence fail to flourish.  

Teaching college classes, parenting classes, at boys’ ranches for out of control boys, and teaching in battered women and children’s shelters, and in the county and state prison systems, I kept hearing common stories. I kept a tickler file and recorded the name and styles of those to whom my students and private clients listened, believed, and had faith in. 

Symptoms presented to me were depression, anxiety, overcompensation, underachieving, acting our, self-mutilation, headaches, stomach problems, and general angst in their personality.

My strategy, when working with individuals and especially when working with groups of people, was to teach them life skills such as assertiveness, active listening for meaning and feeling, identifying feelings, problem solving, conflict resolution, negotiating, reframing, organizing, scheduling, budgeting, and other basic personal and interpersonal skills. These all very easily can be taught and learned. Even the most rebellious boy, or the most depressed wife, or the outrageously defiance client can see the virtue of these skills and quickly turn their lives into a more efficient, effective and fulfilling way to be.

No, we do not deal with Hitler, Pol Pot, King Leopold II, Rev. Richard C, Halverson, or Rev. Richard Leon. But we have the same basic principles being imposed on individuals that cripple them and prevent them from being truly and fully human.

I most humbly disagree with those who say my kind of thinking puts us at “us vs. them” mentality, and we should not do that. I say, most emphatically, STOP IT! When some one or institution teaches the Passive Gospel or political strategies with the same message, we cripple people’s minds. We bind their minds in ways they do not understand or recognize. The harder they try, the worst their angst becomes. When we hear killer words and phrases such as these men preached, taught, and dictated, the individual cannot and will not flourish.

Just look at your own experiences in life. When others try to control you or dominate you, or tell you something that isn’t healthy, how do you feel? Do you submit, feel guilt or shame, obey without question? These are the attitudes, beliefs, customs, traditions and values that mind-bind, not for your benefit but for the ego enhancement of someone who wants to control you and dictate to you who you are and how you are to be.

If they say and do things that empower you to flourish, you have a true and trusted friend, worthy of respect. If you feel angst, pay attention to the words and attitudes of those with whom you associate. It is a We-and-They world! If we don’t understand that, we could spend a lifetime struggling to flourish and not have the tools to make it happen.

Joan M. Denoo, 2013-05-24

Comment by Steph S. on May 24, 2013 at 11:04am

Comment by Lillie on May 23, 2013 at 10:42pm

I saw something similar to the car trying to pass illegally on the shoulder.  We were traveling on the interstate when traffic became backed up due to construction. This car came sailing down the pull off lane with a cop sailing right behind him. As everyone eventually caught up to him standing by his car looking very foolish stopped by the police, there were all kinds of jeers and catcalls.  Once in a blue moon there is a little justice in the world.

Comment by sk8eycat on May 23, 2013 at 10:00pm

Ruth, that gif is a hoot!  I've never seen anything quite like that happen, but I can't count the number of times I've seen some idiot switching lanes all over the place without even signalling, and cutting in front of big trucks and other dangerous stuff.  BUT when I got to where I was going (I don't drive anymore), there the idiot would be, at the bottom of the off-ramp, waiting for the light to change.

One of the (many) reasons I quit driving was that there are too many people on the road who think they're so bloody important that they don't have to obey the laws, and watch out for other drivers.  They not only drive like that on the freeways, they behave the same way on surface streets...while yakking on their hand-held cell phones.  Too frightening!
***************************
Change subject: I saw a great comment about Wolf Blitzer's "thank the lord" gaffe in Raw Story:

"We're here! We don't fear (gods)! Get used to it!"

Comment by Steph S. on May 23, 2013 at 5:01pm

Ruth that Animated GIF is great - I have had people pass illegally on the shoulder.

And look what they got for passing. HAHAHA

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on May 23, 2013 at 4:32pm

Sorry to hear that you've had chemobrain already after your first treatment, Joan. It's great that your family is so suppoprtive of your communication here. I appreciate all of you.

On a lighter note, I imagine you may have been annoyed once or twice by someone passing you illegally by driving on the shoulder.

Comment by Loren Miller on May 23, 2013 at 10:46am

Comment by Ian Mason on May 23, 2013 at 10:04am

Glad to hear from you Joan and to hear that you're chugging along. That's a really good quote that I'm going to steal.

Thanks for your supportive comments, friends. It can be hard to see loved ones suffering on a downhill path. Your understanding makes that easier to bear.

 

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