Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
This list was inspired by the book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Laney. -- on Amazon
Aha, this explains a lot. So I am not a misanthrope after all. I just hate extroverts! Lol! Hmm, #2 I may have some beef with. True, I am not shy per se (this is helping me understand myself better), it is rather that I don't like small talk. But that doesn't mean just start talking to me! Only if you have something important to say. Otherwise, why are you sharing that with me?
The rest of this list is spot on. I didn't know #9! That is way cool! I will have to look that up. Thanks a ton, Steph!
#1. Fits me. Not a chit-chatter.
#2. I'm very shy, socially avoidant. And I very much appreciate courtesy.
#3. I'm very courteous, and appreciate courtesy in others.
#4. Describes me pretty well.
#5. Nitpicking. I am not crazy about going out in public, but I'm not a recluse either. I avoid crowds. People often do drain me.
#6. Describes me to a "T". I do feel very lonely, almost always.
#7. I don't think I'm weird. Does "weird" have a formal definition?
#8. There isn't an aloof bone in my body, but people do accuse me of it. I'm really very down to earth, a farm boy with diplomas.
#9. So that explains it. Is it really that simple?
#10. Could be true. Maybe IQ testing is biased toward the introvert. Probably doesn't measure social IQ
Not that whatever "I" am is what an "introvert" necessarily is. It's a descriptor that fits some people better than others, or people fit the term better than others.
Nice discussion topic tho. Thanks Steph for posting it.
This wikipedia articlediscusses some of the neuroanatomy and neurochemistry.
One study found that introverts have more blood flow in the frontal lobes of their brain and the anterior or frontal thalamus, which are areas dealing with internal processing, such as planning and problem solving. Extraverts have more blood flow in the anterior cingulate gyrus, temporal lobes, and posterior thalamus, which are involved in sensory and emotional experience.
1) Very true
2) + social anxiety for the win!
3) I don’t really have this problem much
4) Actually, I don’t like most people.
5) I don’t like big crowds when I’m trying to shop, etc. Otherwise being in public doesn’t bother me.
6) Yeah, I don’t really like being alone all the time. But I’d rather be alone than around people I don’t like.
7) I prefer eccentric
8) Not sure
9) Actually, I do fit the thrill seeker personality type. This is why I will no longer own a fast car. And definitely not a road motorcycle. I by no means have a death wish though. But being around lots of noise, etc kills me. Sometimes I can tune it out but usually I have to go somewhere else. I am incredibly sensitive to noise.
10) Ugh..I have always hated it when someone thinks you can change your personality and/or happiness.
I am buying this book - it is on my wishlist.
People have really misconceived notions about Introverts. I wish I could educate them on what we are really like.
They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Excellent point Steph. Indeed we do. Which I think sets us up for a lot of failure, because when we fail to get what we need from our relationships, we bemoan how unsatisfying they are. At least for me, when I get all set to invest a lot of energy into a relationship I get particularly irked by every single "fault" a person has in failing to live up to my idealized version of what our relationship should be like.
Yes, that is exactly it. Friendships take a lot of energy for me and are a huge investment. So I do get upset with any single "fault" a person has to live up to my idealized relationship standards.