This is a good article on being bullied into adulthood.
I am an adult and I still find myself bullied at work and in class sometimes. Although it's not as severe as when I was little.
I will paste some of the article below.
Protecting Against Bullies Throughout the Life Cycle
What is a bully? It is someone who takes advantage of another individual that he or she perceives as more vulnerable. The goal is to gain control over the victim or to gain control over a social group. This type of behavior occurs in all ages, sexes and social groups. Most adults, if they think about it, have experienced bullying too. Bullying usually involves deliberate hostility or aggression toward the victim. . The interaction is painful and humiliating and distressing to the victim. Note the word deliberate.
Bullying has existed as long as there has been human civilization. However, recently our society has become more aware of bullying and its harmful consequences. In June 2002 the House of Delegates of the American Medical Association adopted a report by the AMA’s Council on Scientific Affairs that reviewed bullying among U.S. children and adolescents. It found that 7 to 15 percent of sampled school-age children were bullies. About 10 percent of the same group were victims. Between 2 and 10 percent of students are both bullies and victims. In elementary schools, more boys than girls are involved in bullying; however, the gender difference decreases in junior high and high school, and social bullying among girls – manipulation done to harm acceptance into a group – becomes harder to detect.
It's interesting to me that the following was in the article. I've said this many times, I thrived in the Army, and for the exact reasons noted:
"Paradoxically enough, such an individual might experience a strong sense of relief after joining the military... In the armed forces he would report that he received fair and consistent treatment. The rules were predictable. The expectations were rigorous but clear and predictable...Some superiors might be excessively harsh, but everyone knew who they were and knew what to expect. "
However, when my enlistment was done, I chose to return to "the real world".
One thing that I learned after being mobbed by malicious managers and staff, was now I keep every performance measurement, every productivity measurement, on me and when they are contrasted to the group. Where I work almost everything is monitored. Data, and the ability to use it, is very important in self defense, especially in demanding fair and consistent treatment, and sometimes in countering workplace bullies.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Sentient Biped. I enjoy reading what you have to say.
I was bullied and still am because I am Introverted, quiet, reserved and kind. It is seen as a weakness by bullies and bullies pick up on that.
Same for me. I've long felt that my only security in the workplace was to be excellent at what I do, not to make assumptions, be a good colleague, give solid value to my employer, and not be careless. Unfortunately, being a solid performer is exactly what some people resent.
I'm fortunate now that I was able to leave the last toxic workplace behind. There is still some post traumatic stress. I try to keep in mind, "living well is the best revenge", but there was also some schadenfreude when a couple of the people involved were transferred and demoted.
I once took a standardized "career aptitude test". The counselor was stymied - they told me that the only career that I was suitable for was to be a smoke watcher on a solitary tower in the forest. That's not really an option, but sometimes I think about it.
That is so true. I was ranked in my Ornithology class by the professor (why he chose to rank us I have no idea) I ended up being ranked number one -- anyway the amount of bullying I received after that was phenomenal. I was picked on any chance they got by fellow students. I thought that when I was an adult the bullying would end -- but I was astounded that it just continues. Even at work I would be employee of the month or something like that -- and I would get picked on again. And so -- the bullying continues for me.
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities."
Wonderful quote -- thanks!
Bullying does happen throughout life. Out of school people have more options for removing themselves from bullying environments at least, but it still can happen. I am not the social outcast I was as a kid. People are more accepting of differences and less likely to put up with bullying as adults. I'm also more confident. The people who bully as adults I think are mentally back in adolescence.
Other than the workplace, I've also heard that bullying is an issue among the elderly in retirement homes.