Well I really screwed the pooch this semester at college. I only had two classes, which I'm starting to think was my downfall. When I'm taking more than three classes I have less incentive to slack off so I get my work done sooner, but with just two and not spending very many days at school I slacked off too much and bit the dust.

I'm not terribly concerned. I accepted a long time ago that there are some things I'm just going to have to take it slow with, like school, but the HATRED, the self-HATRED is what gets me. I'm really smart. I wish I was better at showing it.

PS - This is why I haven't been around much since the group started. It's hard to run a group on ADHD when I hate having it so much myself. (Most of the time I'm fine with the way I am but... argh, sometimes...)

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Don't take it too slow though. My problem was I couldn't focus on a major I wanted to commit to. Hmph! Commitment issues. Heh.

The self-hatred I've dealt with was partly family upbringing (parents putting on a facade of happy while assaulting one another either behind closed doors or in front of the kiddies), but also being doused in Catholicism and fear. This far down the line and I still have the little Catholic boy underneath. Add to that studies I didn't get, and teachers that didn't get me. Bred a bit of feelings of inadequacy.
I REALLY can't recommend this ...considering its illegal... but the easiest time I had getting like 3 classes of homework done was when I had been soaking pot.....

I would just do my homework...no restraints...while high....granted I can count all the times I've been high on both hands...but still. personally, being unemployed and having nothing to do, I need a routiene....something I do every day...a couple of somethings that I need to get done.......or the focus isn't there...

so don't beat yourself up too much ...it will be ok....but I think you know that...doesn't make it any less frustrating .
so don't beat yourself up too much

Right. I don't think you can ever hear that enough.


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