I think things could have been different if my husband wasn't wise on how he dealt with the changes in his views. He is incredibly intelligent and has a wonderful way of explaining ideas and concepts so you can understand him. He's also very persuasive - both of which can be quite useful as a pastor. I guess he could have used his abilities to brainwash people, but he was too honest with himself for that. At first it was a little thing about a doctrine, then a few more... Every time he changed his views, he had a good reason and 'proofs' to back it up. So when eventually he discovered that the god of the bible was man-made and that evolution was a better explanation for life, I had no choice but to listen carefully. Of course I didn't like it at first and resisted it, but eventually his reasoning with me won me over. I appreciated the fact that he never pressured me or told me I was wrong. He just presented the facts & the 'truth' pretty much killed my faith.
I am very grateful that we are able to go through this together. I don't know when my folks will realize that we are not going through a rebellious phase but that we have reasons for coming to our conclusions. But meanwhile, they don't want to talk about it, which is very frustrating for us. I guess the fact that we will come right out and say that we don't believe that their god exists and that the bible is a fiction really makes them uneasy.
We have found a couple of atheist/agnostic groups in our area that really helps us through this transition & gives us the support that we need. And of course forums like this are great encouragements & show us that we are not alone. We've lost our church 'family', but now we have a world-wide family - and this family doesn't judge us for not having the same belief! =)