I am a 45 year-old divorced father of two and grandfather of one (so far). At the beginning of December, I sent an email to my kids asking if they could set aside a couple of hours to watch and discuss I DVD I made for them. I did not hear anything for a couple of days, so I sent them texts on their cell phones. A couple more days and still no answer. I called their mother (my ex) and she didn't answer. I tried to called her a second time about this and she didn't answer. I left a pleading voice mail asking for them to call me back. She sent me a text saying that the kids didn't want to watch the DVD with me and I should back off. That made me angry, so I demanded in a text for them to contact me. "I am their father. I have a right to talk to them", I said. My son sent me a ext swearing at me to not be so obsessive. My daughter, through my brother, said she is not comfortable with my atheism. So, I have not talked with my son for 2 and a half weeks and it been more than a month and a half since I talked to my daughter.

For the past three years, the story is different, but the results are the same. I do not see or talk to my kids during the holidays.

I am tired of the pain they inflict on me, but I can't stop loving them. I would like to never again see them or speak to them, but I can't do that, so I endure the pain until they speak to me again.

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Replies to This Discussion

Thanks Steph. It shows how important I am when people spell my name wrong. I appreciate the gesture, but I feel it is not heart felt.

Cane, I will not pretend to understand your situation with your children, because  I do not have any. With that being said, I do understand the loneliness and frustration of being an atheist in this country. I only have a few people in my life that are either Atheist or Agnostic, but otherwise most people I come in contact with are religious. Not only do I have to be afraid to come out as an atheist to anyone new that I meet, but also have to be afraid to tell them I am a lesbian. I purposely don't try to get in too many social situations because I also have to explain my medical condition that caused me to go on disability (hopefully temporarily). I feel sad that you cannot bond with your children simply because you do not have the same beliefs. When is it going to be ok for people to be who they are? When will this world stop judging others based on a ridiculous ancient repulsive book? Sorry for rambling, but I do understand the loneliness . Life is hard enough if you do believe the same as everyone, but for us, it is extremely frustrating. 

Thanks for the moral support. It is greatly appreciated. It makes the pain that tiny bit more bearable.

You're welcome. We all need a bit of understanding sometimes ! I will soon be 40, and if there's one thing I've learned it's that we have to take kindness wherever we can get it. Here is a virtual (((HUG))) for you. I know it may not be much, but you can know that someone out in the world understands what you're feeling. 

Cane,  Thanks for reminding me why I am not married with kids.  I have already decided that I will never marry because it is a made up ideas of what people should do with their personal lives.  I have also resolved that having children with a religous partner is not what I want.  Just for the reasons you are going through, lack of respect from others puts and unbearable pain on you.  If I have children with an atheist woman there is a much greater chance that my children would support and understand me as I would them.  With my own family that I have, since I have no female partner or children, I am surrounded by religious beliefs that I do not appreciate.  I must always realize that I am on my own.  To be positive, I must find the opportunities being on my own affords me. 

Maybe you can find what you are looking for here at the Atheist Nexus?

I think being able to come to this site and write what is on my mind was part of what I was looking for.  Being concious of others who are living a similar situation as yours is very beneficial. 




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