Nexus Comedy Club

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Nexus Comedy Club

Comedy provides us with welcome relief from the constant barrage of crap....... So here's a group for discussion of all things comedic. Share your comedy favourites, link to clips, discuss atheist comedy, and just have a laugh

Members: 117
Latest Activity: Apr 22

Discussion Forum

Tim Minchin sings about Science and Religion

Started by Deanna. Last reply by Dyslexic's DOG Oct 20, 2013. 1 Reply

Jokes

Started by Talibangelist. Last reply by Jen E. Jan 7, 2011. 10 Replies

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Comment by Lemual Poot on March 23, 2015 at 12:24pm

You don't name him anything; he can't come when you call him!

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 23, 2015 at 12:23pm

What do you name a dog with no legs?

Comment by Idaho Spud on March 23, 2015 at 11:48am

That rabbi had a good comeback.  Wish I could think of answers like that.

Comment by Idaho Spud on March 23, 2015 at 11:47am

Perhaps we should call you Saint Patricia.  Hehe.

Comment by Plinius on March 23, 2015 at 2:15am

A protestant minister and a catholic priest take a walk together. When they reach a canal the minister wants to go left or right along the canal but the priest crosses himself and then walks over the water to the other side. The minister tries to do the same, but falls in the canal. The priest crosses himself again, walks over the water and gets the minister to the riverside. Of course the minister wants to know how to walk across the water, and the priest tells him:"Convert to catholicism, then I'll show you where I put the steps just under the surface." 

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 22, 2015 at 5:29pm

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist, walked into a Tavern together.

The bartender said, "Is this a joke?" 

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 21, 2015 at 6:20pm

 

My "Lizard Buddy" idea was way ahead of its time.  I still can't imagine how they could pick a noisy bug-zapper, when the gentle slurping of a faithful friend on the nightstand, would keep them insect free all night long.  I had start-up capital, and a prototype and everything.  If it hadn't been that whole, "Shot blood from his eyes..." thing and the way the media played it up, it would have been a hit.  So all Native Americans aren't experts on lizards; who knew? My day will come, you'll see!

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 17, 2015 at 11:22pm

A man walked into a bar.

Odd he didn't see it right there in front of him!

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 15, 2015 at 6:46pm

 

Tell people the truth and they crap all over you, Believe me, I’ve tried.

Rabbit meat is the healthiest meat you can eat.  Lots of protein virtually no carbohydrates.  There's no prescription diet that excludes rabbit meat.  Rabbit produces the highest meat versus feed ratio of any meat producing mammal.  Rabbit should replace chicken in the American diet.  Hah!

I put everything into my Rabbit restaurant idea. 

I had a bunny logo, a mascot in a bunny suit to hand Rabbit meat samples.  Think anyone would try them?  How come one single news picture of a bunch of crying kids can ruin a venture?  It’s just crazy. 

I had all sorts of rabbit fur accessories and lucky rabbit’s feet for the kiddies but no! People just can’t see

 I even had an extra twist like the lobster places.  A big cage with rabbits in it, where a family could pick out their own meal

Springtime should be a good season to launch a venture, guess I didn’t think-out that whole Easter thing.  It would have been great without the eggs all over the place each morning.  Why’d they dye raw eggs in the first place?

I'll tell you, the average Joe-Shmoe has no vision.

Gadam PITA jerks, you don’t see any of them in front of KFC do you? 

No matter how I try…

Comment by Lemual Poot on March 15, 2015 at 5:49pm

 

 

I've always been one step ahead of my time.  People just weren't ready for my ideas.  Time and time again I’ve tried. 

Like in the 70's, during the generic craze.  I had rights on the only generic graveyard anywhere.  People just couldn’t see.

Picture how it could have looked: Rows of white headstones, with "Dead Person" lettered on each one.

OK, that was just the façade in front of the site but really…

 My "No frills funerals" was the epitome of genius but fell deaf upon ignorant ears.  I featured a fine crafted corrugated coffins with "push-in" finger holes, for pall bearing ease.  Prerecorded eulogies, and a live-action, animatronic clergy with pop up mourners.  Plus, an option for live, professional mourners. You think anyone saw the potential?  Hah! 

The actual interment site would have been an abandoned oil well I got a great lease on.  Ten inches wide, about a mile down.  I had it all figured.  With rate and fall ratios and that whole terminal velocity thing, we could have packed them in there for years, no problem.  People just don't see brilliance in its present state.

Time and time again I've tried.

 

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