The ways I perceive a sense of integrity is to know and love oneself in order to know and love another; and to think and act based on both flourishing while refusing to manipulate or exploit, while standing tall, confident, and committed to flourishing.

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Thank you Joan. I would love to read this book.

It is on the internet. Just click on

Hi Joan and thanks for this post! there are interesting corroborations coming from cognitive science in that it seems we are hard-wired for compassion and cooperation. "survival of the fittest" is a misnomer, of course, it's really "demise of the unfit" and fitness for our species has always been dependent on collective concern and communal well-being. i'm writing an article on humor and it turns out we developed laughter as a way to signal calm in brief times of safety and satiety, so our ancestors could get about the business of creating deep relationships. bigotry and hatred (hallmarks of organized religion) are counterintuitive.

The more I develop integrity the more I feel that I must humble myself and apologize. But also the more I need to stand firm when appropriate.

Since integrating my understanding of evolution and naturalism my sense of integrity has changed.  I used to feel very responsible for having integrity, it was wrapped up with my sense of identity.  But as my sense of identity has shifted from something that I orchestrate to something that is inevitable based on causal factors, I have less attachment to both identity and integrity.  My sense of integrity now comes from being the best I can with the realisation that who I am and what I am is inherently intertwined with the fabric of reality, with the causal matrix, with all events currently and from the beginning of time.  Feeling myself as being connected to the rest of reality in an inherently intertwined relationship gives me great support for my sense of self, self esteem and my view and connection with others.  Compassion for self and others, and a sense of warmth and well-being comes from accepting that everything happens from necessity, that events are inevitable.

Dennis, I look forward to reading your work. I like your statement, "'survival of the fittest' is a misnomer, of course, it's really "demise of the unfit" and fitness for our species has always been dependent on collective concern and communal well-being." and "we developed laughter as a way to signal calm in brief times of safety and satiety, so our ancestors could get about the business of creating deep relationships."
I know a treat awaits me.
John, your choice of the words, "humble yourself" surprise me. What is there about your that needs humbling? If you don't mind my asking! Can you describe or clarify how you feel?
I may be revealing hubris, but I don't feel humbled, I feel ... I am struggling for a word and the only one that seems to come closest is "expanded." I perceive myself as seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling with my skin and feeling with my heart and gut and all those senses offer information worth sharing. I know it sounds conceited to say this. Let me see if I can put into words what I am thinking.
I experience things that countless other women have experienced and died without giving voice to their experience. Women have much to contribute to culture and have not only been silenced, but have acquiesced to that imperative. I bear witness to the cries of the world.
I suspect you have experienced what countless other men have experienced and have been unable to convey the cries of the world as seen from a man's perspective.
We have both endured the tyranny of patriarchy and its crippling effects. Both of our voices need to be heard and taken into account as we face coming challenges.
I am not talking about whining and complaining; I am talking about describing dysfunction, tyranny, oppression, domination, exploitation and all the other forces working in our lives. We face a new age in which we can throw off the limitations of old attitudes and behaviors and values, and create a more humane, civilized way of being.

Hi Joan. I said that the more I develop integrity the more I feel that I must humble myself because the more I develop integrity the less I feel like Mr. wonderful. That is, I think true integrity necessitates modesty. For example, true integrity involves self honesty. Supposing I had it, If I accomplished something impressive, rather than thinking I was so great, I would have to admit that much of it was due to the dumb luck of my having been born with the potential to do it. Could I say that I was better than someone who by ill luck was not born with that potential? I could not. Accordingly, except for any credit due me for the labor, I would have to be modest about it. You must have heard the expression: 'Don't let it go to your head'. This is the layman's vernacular for what I just said. I have never heard of a hero nor heroine who ever claimed to be one after the fact. This is because true integrity necessitates humility.

John, thanks for your reply. I like the way you express yourself and you make good sense. Self-honesty, awareness that you are born with unique gifts, and some have other gifts, or lack those natural physical and mental abilities, and each one differs from all others. It is not a values statement, it is a "valuing" statement. I really appreciate you and your wisdom. 

"true integrity necessitates humility!"

John Jubinsky

Truck on Joan!




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