To kick this off, here's a new one:
Q: Why is it the mentally ill don't send Christmas cards?
A: Because they're too busy on their knees praying.
OK, not marvelous, so I thought I'd invite you guys and gals to think up (collect) some new devilish humor. Bah humbug.
BTW - I'm not dead yet - but the chest pain is a real swine... Fortunately for anyone wondering/worrying, it's wasn't an infarc or a PE. So I just have to put up with it...