To kick this off, here's a new one:

Q: Why is it the mentally ill don't send Christmas cards?
A: Because they're too busy on their knees praying.

OK, not marvelous, so I thought I'd invite you guys and gals to think up (collect) some new devilish humor. Bah humbug.

BTW - I'm not dead yet - but the chest pain is a real swine... Fortunately for anyone wondering/worrying, it's wasn't an infarc or a PE. So I just have to put up with it...

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i shall never be so old that i pass up an opportunity to act like an ass to religious people.  after all, they've fucked up our society enough that generations after us will be mopping up the shit.  you just got old enough not to care....enjoy your visits from jehovah's witnesses on sat morns, and be sure to vote against the fanatics that show up in the pres elections..... cheers!


I have one this is funnier in my local language but I'll do my best

A pastor tells his church how god always protects him and has made him invincible. Before he's done with the sermon, a ghost walks into the church (obviously it's me playing a prank on poor invincible pastor). Everybody in the church begin to flee and so does the pastor. Unfortunately for him his robe gets caught as he tries to jump out a window and then in frustration he looks up and says "leave me alone god and let me ran in peace, why don't you ever listen to me god, i told you that I don't like playing games on sunday"

Here is one more I'm sure many have already heard before

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. A priest comes up to him and says "Hey...what are you doing here?" The Higgs replies "What...are you kidding?" - "You can't have mass without me."

HE HE! Good one!

Oh, GROAN!!! [chuckle!]

Why was Jesus reprimanded on the cross. For biting his nails.




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