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The portrait is Charles Darwin, age 31, in 1840

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Comment by Joan Denoo on January 5, 2013 at 7:26pm

Go Team! One for the Atheist Brigade! Powered by good sense, refusing to be a victim, standing up for ourselves and each other, strong, decisive, clear, specific, a backbone of steel and arms of velvet, confident, competent, and compassionate!

NO blaming, accusing, criticizing, nit-picking, name calling, slandering, apologizing,  asking for permission or whining.

Just the facts.

Comment by Idaho Spud on January 3, 2013 at 8:43am

I'll put my hands together for you also Joan.  And I will remember your story the next time I'm in a position like that and it will give me extra courage.

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 3, 2013 at 1:38am

Oh Paula and Chris, I know you both are strong, wise and compassionate; this is just an unfamiliar process for you. 

Comment by Plinius on January 3, 2013 at 1:01am

Most of the time I'm too cowardly, but I'll try to take a leaf out of your book, Joan.

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 3, 2013 at 12:56am

The process is very simple: "Be the cause in the action."
If there is a problem or a conflict or something that bothers you, take the kind of action you would would want done to you. No name calling, blaming, accusing or criticizing. Just state your problem to the one offending you as clearly and honestly as you can; take the kind of action that will make your position clear and what you expect from them.

This doesn't always stop the behavior, but it does make known to them  how they intrude upon you, and you are not a victim. The funny thing about this episode, I am a little old lady, spoke quietly and politely and yet the dining room quieted when I approached their table, sat down and said what I had to say. What was that old commercial when a financial planner spoke in a restaurant and everyone quieted and listened? It was a scene kind of like that. 

Comment by Paula T. on January 2, 2013 at 9:15pm

I agree with Lillie.

Joan, I sincerely wish I had your confidence and ability to speak up for myself...but I know you have earned those skills.  Thank you for sharing that story.

Comment by John Lynch on January 2, 2013 at 5:56pm

Good for you Joan

Comment by Lillie on January 2, 2013 at 5:53pm

Joan you are always the bearer of such positive, encouraging news. 

Comment by Dr. Terence Meaden on January 2, 2013 at 5:38pm

Congraaatulations Joan. I'll add my applause to those of the other diners. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 2, 2013 at 4:56pm

Arrived home last night and my son who lives with me held down our hearth in great fashion. I took him out to lunch this afternoon as a great big "thank you" to him. Sitting in a booth about six booths away from us two men spoke so loudly about Christ, and the work they have been doing in the name of their savior, I could not hear Cary. So I got up, walked calmly over to their booth, sat down beside one of the men and told them they had very loud voices that disturbed us, not only because of them speaking so loudly, but because the things they discussed did not interest me nor my son. We are atheist and did not come out to a nice restaurant to have to listen to a Christian sermon. As I walked away, the dining room thanked me and applauded. The men thanked me and turned their volume down about 1 degree on a ten degree scale. 

They responded by paying our bill; quite a pleasant surprise. We thanked them and they gave us their blessings. Religious people will have to get used to non-believers standing up against such thoughtless conduct because we are becoming legion! Have you noticed the increased enrollment in non-believing sites? 


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