It's as if she's come up with a technical reason to force you to keep quiet. It's the same old, atheists believe in nothing and so should remain quiet, canard.
Providing as you say, you aren't insulting theists for their belief she doesn't have a valid position. In order for your partnership to be equal she must allow you to be free to discuss your beliefs as well as hers. You married each other so there must have been mutual respect in the first place. She has to understand that by trying to dictate what you can and can't say she is showing a lack of trust and disrespect of you. I'm sure you want to work this out peacefully, but what she is asking is unfair. It seems like barring some kind of understanding, you will either have to agree to her terms to keep the peace or refuse and have this as an open source of contention.
Maybe there is some way to turn it around on her; how would she feel if she was unable to discuss something she doesn't believe.
This seems like an impossible contradiction to win. By the Mormon faith, it is based on a set of principles (for lack of a better word) that they believe and by nature what they don't believe in. By her argument if your sons asked if she believes in polygamy would she not set the record straight that 'mainstream' Mormons don't believe in that?
By the very virtue that you are an Atheist and your wife is Mormon, you are opposed to each other's beliefs. This doesn't mean opposed to each other, just in this area. There is nothing wrong with stating what you or she believes, the reasons for it and it can be done in a respectful manner. Out of curiosity, have you asked her why you should suppress your beliefs and what Atheism is and she should not? That would lead to a lot of contention in this casa! In our home religion is a dinner time discussion (when it comes up of course) with our girls. Luckily my husband and I are both Atheists, however, we arrived to the same conclusion via very different paths. So when our girls ask we open it to a family discussion. Do you think your wife would be open to a round table discussion with you and your sons? Perhaps taking turns with beliefs and disbeliefs? This may help your sons also see that you can be adamently opposed to another persons beliefs, while still respecting and loving the person holding the beliefs.
they are your kids to and you can tell them what you like!
I would explain to her that an Atheist is most commonly define by not 'what"' they believe, but by what they 'don't'. You have to beliefs! and explaining that to you child in an age appropriate and respective manner should be acceptable.
Just keep saying that if it comes up, stick to that point and eventually she will see it as your truth.
Hi Kevin. After reading this entire thread and some other discussions in this group, I think I may have a few potential solutions for you! All it takes is a little critical thought mixed with creativity :-) Feel free to cross out what you don't like and use what is useful:
I believe that God is an imaginary friend.
I believe the Bible is just like your other storybooks.
I believe God is a character/hero in a storybook called the Bible.
I believe Jesus is like a superhero in a comic book.
You know how you like (insert favorite TV show/film/etc. character here), well that's how much some people like God/Jesus/religion, etc.
Your mom believes that God created humans and I believe that humans created (the concept of) God.
I believe humans created religion/Christianity/Mormonism/etc.
I believe that Once Upon A Time, a very real human person created a really cool/fascinating story and they called it a religion/bible.
I believe there were many different human authors of the Bible.
I believe the Bible was only written by humans. I believe the Bible was only inspired by the imagination of real humans.
I believe the Bible is a creative fantasy.
I believe in the research I've done. My research tells me that...
I believe in using the scientific method to determine what I believe.
When somebody tells me something, I look for proof to see if it is real.
I believe that early humans didn't understand the world around them. They didn't have science like we do to explain things. We know that the sun is a (giant ball of fire/nuclear reactor) but ancient people thought the sun was a god because they didn't understand it. They couldn't see germs because they didn't have microscopes so they didn't know why people got sick. So I believe that they made up gods to explain it.
I believe that it's good to ask questions.
Another line of logic: Do you remember what you had for supper last night? Do you remember what you had for supper last year? (Keep going until you get a "no") Well, historians have said that the story of Jesus was written many years after he died. It must have been really hard for the writers to remember what Jesus had to eat at his supper. I believe that we can't trust these stories as absolute fact because maybe they didn't remember everything right.
Hope this helps!!