Many readers are too young to remember Tom Swifties, or even elephant jokes:

Here's a list of dirty Tom Swifties, with three just for the polyamorous.

But only one elephant.

Q: How do you put an elephant into an oak tree?

A: Get the elephant to sit on an acorn.
Then wait for twenty years.

[ObPoly: I sometimes use that as a relationship technique].

"This is too stimulating!" Tom ejaculated.

"Orgasms aren't a big deal," Mary said

"Masturbating this way makes me gasp,"
Tom cried jerkingly.

"I forgot to use a condom," Mary
whispered pregnantly.

"I'm not physically attracted to women,"
Tom said gaily.

"Please remove your hand from
my bra," Mary tittered.

"Let me get a harness and leash,"
Tom said fetchingly.

"I get turned on by female
ejaculation," Mary gushed.

"After we fuck, I feel so empty,"
Tom said vacuously.

"I didn't enjoy John Wayne Bobbitt's
movie," Mary remembered.

"I never heard of anilingus," Tom said,


"PDAs in front of my primary are okay,"
Mary said sedately.

"I need to see more than one person,"
Tom said unsteadily.

"I want both Greg and Gary in my bed,"
Mary said gregariously.

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Replies to This Discussion

What's "dirty" about them? It gives me sad when people refer to sex as "dirty".

Clever wordplay, though.
(( What's "dirty" about them? ))

Yo man, woman, it's idiomatic. I'm not about to call them "sexy" Tom Swifties.
What is [ObPoly]?
"Obligatory topical content cited as pretext for posting a bunch of stupid jokes to the Polyamory Discussions area for Atheist Nexus."
Gregariously! LOL!

But the top joke would put an oak tree in an elephant!


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