I'm familiar with compersion, being a polyamorist,
and have heard of some others but not all. Some religions try deliberately to generate a state of enthrallment.
Aphoria might be part of deconversion.
What do you think?
1. Dysphoria I didn't have a name for my feelings of grief, depression and anger when I left my church and abusive marriage, however there was a terrible time when I felt like electricity was short circuiting in my cells and I could find no relief. Add to those feeling, I had a profound fear and really wasn't very functional. I think other people who are leaving their faith traditions have exhibited these behaviors as well.
2. Enthrallment This could be what happens with myself and others who come to the realization that there is life after the end of religion and all that entails. I know I felt so in love with nature and my garden is a manifestation of that experience. The wonders of sprouting seeds, the surprise when seeds I planted and labelled beets turned out to be turnips and being thrilled the seeds didn't obey me, they grew to be what they were. I decided my children were the same as vegetable seeds. My job was to provide a safe, secure, stable place where they could grow and become who they were.
3. Normopathy I had a student who couldn't tell her favorite color but could recite the favorites of her family and friends. I wonder if that is what Bollas had in mind. She had no boundaries, couldn't tell where she stopped and another started. She described herself as being Jello forming around others in order to know what she felt or liked or wanted.
4. Abjection I worked for an ophthalmologist after high school and while new there I opened our lunch room refrigerator and saw an eye ball in a glass jar ... I threw up. Is that what Kristeva means? It was seeing something familiar but in an unfamiliar place, and never having seen an enucleated eye before. "A classic example is seeing a corpse ..."
5. Sublimation I don't know if sublimation is always attached to sexuality. I always sublimate strong feelings by painting a room, cleaning the garage or working on genealogy, for example when my daughter and her family moved to Arizona. They had been on the road about an hour and called me to see how I was doing and I had torn out all the old shelves in the storage room. We realized what I was doing and laughed. Grandma taught me to get busy when I feel sad or mad or afraid.
6. Repetition compulsion Working with battered women, I often observed women marrying or becoming involved with one alcoholic after another ... addiction to alcoholics was their "disease."
7. Repressive desublimation "obey the rules and have crazy drunken sex every weekend", Oh, OK Is that what happened?
8. Aporia Oh Yes! I know that feeling well; I have particular electricity in my body and I feel as though I had jumped off a bridge and hadn't landed yet. It happened when I left my marriage and faith, and one time when I quit a good job because the environment was so toxic. I didn't know where I was going to land.
9. Compersion Oh Yes! My kids were worried I would find out their Dad was dating and didn't tell me. When I found out I was so happy, I felt a ton of bricks off my back. Compersion, hummm, OK.
10. Group feelings "A group feeling can only come about through membership in a group, and isn't something that you would ever have on your own." Group-think sounds something like that ... an opinion starts and goes through the entire group, only to find it was not a good opinion. I am thinking of the "Bay of Pigs", where JFKs advisor got locked into an option that turned out very badly, and later discussion revealed many participants had doubts and didn't express them.
This is a great exercise, Ruth, Thanks.
Wow! Your personal examples blew me away, Joan. What great responses. Thanks for sharing.
How are you felling and doing, Ruth. Hope each challenge is getting resolved and that spring and summer will bring sunshine and equanimity ... I really like that word, but can't pronounce it yet. Kind of like aluminum.