In my head, I am sure there is no God.

But whenever something bad happens to me, esp. right after something good happens to me, I still have questions floating in my mind; the answers that religionists said to me whenevr I questioned religion.

For example, if I got sick and asked someone why and asked them why "god would punish me with sickness," they would say something like, "God doesnt' punish, he teaches lessons to build our character."

Even though I am still brainwashed by abusive, aggressive believers, I know that's not true.

But it is still hard.


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A lot of people feel like you do. It is a common reaction for people who have been severely indoctrinated  when they leave their faith but it is definitely not healthy as I'm sure you already know.


I'm no expert or a professional counselor but the best advice I can come up with is post on atheist forums about your feelings and try to be patient for like thinking friends to come your way.



ty Linda

No one has to be an expert or a professional to help me.

In fact, I was "helped" a little too much by many believing so called therapists.

I would rather get some sane talk by you guys than by some counselor who can't help me cause I am not religious or "spiritual".

You helped.


I know what you mean.  I'm still indoctrinated, too, although I've been doing a tremendous amount of work on it during the last year since I've become an atheist.  It's just like any time a person has been abused in any way.  The extreme versions of religion we had to deal with are like emotional and verbal abuse (and neglect.)  Except it goes one step further.  It doesn't just break you down like emotional and verbal abuse, it also gives you an alternate reality so we are not even dealing with the real reality. 

I think the step that helped me the most in all these struggles to be free of the indoctrination was not just to acknowledge that I'm living in an alternate reality and I need to live in reality, but to actually believe in that reality. I know many atheists don't like to use the word belief because it's an emotion and not scientific, but people who've been through indoctrination already have a strong belief and I think redirecting that belief to reality itself can help the disconnection that often happens: logically we are atheists, but there's this emotional part who still believes all the bad things we were told.  Once we switch that belief and say something to ourselves when we are in that emotion like "I know that my rational mind knows what is real.  I know there is an objective reality.  I believe in reality.  I may be experiencing (whatever false reality you are still believing in), but I know that's not real.  Etc."  Something like that.  It's a combination in believing in yourself, believing in your ability to know what is real, and to believe in that reality that you have already intellectually decided was the real reality.


I hope that made sense.  I'm just getting through it myself.

I feel the same as you do, except my family believes that when you do go through bad times and you're a non-believer, God is just not involved and thus nothing you do will ever pay off. I hate it, but rationality trumps the touchy-feely aspect of life. That's what I have to keep telling myself.


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