The past couple weeks I have been depressed and all around negative. I hate the way I have been acting of late and how it has impacted those around me.
The other night I began pondering why I have been acting the way I have. Stewing in my misery when I knew the ways to solve the issues that bothered me. Not knowing why I wasn't taking action was making it so I couldn't stand to be in my own skin. I know where self loathing can lead, and decided I needed to figure out where it was coming from bc I was stumped.
Well to make a long story short I realized that I was still experiencing the emotions of being told I was a miserable excuse of a being bc of original sin ever since I was a toddler. I thought I had stopped buying into that ages ago but it was so deeply imbedded in my mind that it still haunts me.
I'm sure this is going to be one of those things that will not entirely go away but I would like to rid myself of it as much as I can. Would anyone have any ideas on how to do this? I was thinking of using "I deserve to be happy!" like a mantra since it was “your a worthless sinner” repeated over and over that got me here.