I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.
Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?
Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?
Any thoughts are welcome.
There are many reasons for people to stay in situations, that look irrational from the outside.
First, they may be afraid to change things. They may be afraid of losing something they have - like an abused wife who knows she would have money problems if she left.
They may be afraid that the change would be a bad change.
This fear may be an illusion. It might be inculcated by an abusive husband who teaches his wife that she's incompetent or crazy (very common). Over years of this, a woman will come to believe it. She may be convinced she NEEDS the abuser.
She might be actually getting something from a bad situation that she needs. Things that aren't as apparent to an outsider, as the obvious suffering. Such as nurturing, or satisfying a need to be close to someone.
So there may simply be a REAL conflict between opposing interests.
It's also VERY common for people to become trapped by a sense of obligation and responsibility. This is a perennial conflict of humanity, between our obligations and our wish for adventure and self-determination.
NONE of these situations involve "enjoying wallowing".
If you asked ANYONE in such a situation if they were enjoying it, they would tell you emphatically NO.
Such situations of conflict and indoctrination involve SUFFERING.
Such a state as "enjoying wallowing" probably does not even exist.
And if an outsider describes someone as "enjoying wallowing" - likely they are trying to distance themselves from a very difficult situation that's painful to empathize with. Nobody wants to be in such a situation themselves - yet life very often involves such awful conflicts.
Such conflicts are one of the WORST things about the human condition. That's why people don't want to empathize, and they distance themselves by describing the conflict as "enjoying wallowing".
Some conflicts aren't solvable. People are simply stuck with them. Then, they seek relief from others by talking to them - trying to relieve the pain a little.
That is ALSO not "enjoying wallowing".
Hi Steph.S. Once we begin recovering it becomes an on going event in Life.Non Stop.! support is recommended !