I realize now that I am not *wrong* to have these "impure parts of me"

I joined this group because I grew up so terrified of my own body and sexual feelings---which were a result of so much deleterious brainwashing by fundamentalists.

I need to learn a healthier attude.

These parts of me (sexuality) are not impure, I now realize.

But growing up, every time I had a feeling that was sexual or had a "crush" on someone starting, I was told repeatedly and even sometimes systematically, that "God was going to punish me" or "something really bad was going to happen to me" if I had these feelings/fantasies/crushes/and/or dreams that were sexual.

I know better now.

But I had so little support and affirmation of this all my life.

Since these issues caused me so much distress, I joined a sexual addiction group for several years, which was 12-step oriented and was told there that "masturbation was 'acting out'" and "if I didn't turn to God, I would be sick like t his forever" or that I was "bad", once again.

this did not help me at all.

In fact, it made my preoccupation with sex (which I now realize is from so much taboo in my society) worse, not better and it seemed to reinforce how bad I was to be sexual.

I hope this is will be an appropriate group for me to explore and let go of erroneous ideas about sex that were infused in me by brainwashing fundamentalists and society in general.


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Replies to This Discussion

Bravo! It is shocking to hear of the bizarre training that you report. Sex is fun and feels good because it is set that way by evolution to keep our species thriving as you have learned. Better training for children has to do with safe, happy ways to enjoy our erotic impulses. Glad you are with us.

Religion and sexuality are complete polar opposites, as I have never heard of ANY religious belief that is at all accomadateable of what SHOULD BE "normal human sexual behavior". I would even argue that probably ALL SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR can be traced to religious upbringing! The fact that you were involved in "12-Steppism" only adds insult to the injury. I hope that with the help of a secular therapist (if you think its needded!), and your own adult "explorations" that you can enjoy a "normal" sexual lifestyle!
Actually, I have heard of several. However, I have not heard of any monotheistic religion (Judaism, Islam, Christianity, Zoroastrianism, etc) that promotes what I would consider healthy sexuality. Could be a coincidence, or there might be a pattern there.
Of course it is not wrong. I am of the belief that you can do whatever the hell you want within your own mind. It doesn't matter how illegal or immoral or taboo it is--your brain is your own domain. And you can also do a hell of a lot of things in real life too, if they don't hurt anyone else!
I'll second and third what Prog Rock Girl said. She said it right and morally correctly. Be safe and enjoy.
thank you everyone.

I can't afford therapy and the only "low income" available to me here is christian-tainted counseling. Meaning more reinforcement of the above I described.

I am still recovering from "therapy".


ty again,

If more humans spent more time loving each other and having more sex, humanity would have less time to destroy the planet :)

Make love not war.
Truer words have not been spoken!!
ty everyone for your continued support of this posting.

Keep on doing what you've been doing. I've always been of the mind-set that sex is good and healthy. It's those who hate sexuality that have it wrong, in my opinion. And I don't understand why - makes no sense to me.
All I can share is that you didn't develop your harmful beliefs about sex (or anything else) overnight and you won't get rid of them overnight. As others have said, give yourself time. Every day is a step away from the old garbage you were taught and a step closer to enjoying your thoughts and actions without guilt, sexual and non-sexual.

Within the last few months, I was able to (finally) admit to myself and others that I am an atheist. Since then I have been able to tell myself that whatever I am thinking is OK. Any fantasies I have are OK, even if they fall outside the realm of what is considered 'moral' by the catholic church. I still grapple with feelings of guilt, but tell myself there is nothing wrong with my thoughts. Keep fighting - the journey to freedom and away from thought oppression is well worth the effort!



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