Secular Sexuality

(NSFW) A no-taboo approach to sexual education and health.

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Latest Activity: Jun 23

Sex for fun and non-procreation!

In this world, we can't get away from religion. We've been exposed to false information regarding contraception failure rates and experienced the STD scare tactics. Some of us may even have gone through abstinence-only sex education!

Here in Secular Sexuality we will discuss:

-sexual health in light of peer-reviewed science
-safe for work guides on safe(r) sex (or links)
-questions that would shock the religious

This discussion forum is moderated. Unsophisticared trolls and judging other people will not be tolerated. If you would like to see a topic addressed, or have a question, add it to the comment wall, or message an admin.

Message The Nerd if you want an invite to the X-rated group, for topics not allowed on Atheist Nexus.

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Comment Wall


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Comment by Joseph P on December 11, 2011 at 5:00am

And you really think that an acquaintance never took advantage of a girl who was drunk and wouldn't remember it?  You know far fewer assholes than I do, if that's what you're trying to say.

Comment by Joseph P on December 11, 2011 at 4:58am

Yet it says "going home with".  Maybe they put that fugly tile pattern in some homes, too.

More likely, that's what the ad designers had easily available.  I'd accuse them of laziness before I'd accuse them of pushing a blame agenda.

Comment by TNT666 on December 11, 2011 at 4:55am

In addition, I've gone home 100s of times alone with a stranger, that wasn't half as risky as being with people we know, who women  don't dare fight against, and speak out against, who control women's lives.

Comment by TNT666 on December 11, 2011 at 4:53am

Being "too drunk to say no" is only relevant in the context of rape by strangers. The ad is a girl lying in a public bathroom. Both are uncommon contexts. It excels at shifting the blame to the 'evil stranger', rather than the priest, boyfriend, coach, father, etc.

Comment by Joseph P on December 11, 2011 at 4:41am

I guess I'm just not seeing that distinction in the ad.  Getting drunk and going home alone with anyone seems like a bad idea.  I didn't take "don't know very well" to mean complete stranger.

Comment by TNT666 on December 11, 2011 at 4:26am

The main problem with the ad is that it perpetrates the fallacious dogma that rape is generally something that happens between strangers. It does absolutely nothing to address the fact that a great majority of rapes have nothing to do with alcohol but with abusive males within women's inner circles.

Comment by tom sarbeck on December 10, 2011 at 2:51pm

A person who walks through a bad neighborhood at night counting $100 bills might qualify for a Darwin Award.

Comment by MaleficVTwin on December 9, 2011 at 10:38pm

I've always thought that it's a very fine line that must be walked like a tightrope when talking about certain behaviors that can make a girl more likely to be raped. It's incredibly frustrating too. The ad is 100% correct to point out that drinking heavily and leaving with strange men can increase your chance of being raped. Susan is right; she didn't deserve it, yet her lack of good judgement could certainly be considered a contributing factor.

I've found in past discussions on this topic that an analogy works well to illustrate the point:

If I were to walk through a bad neighborhood at night counting $100 bills, how much higher are my chances of being robbed than if I took the money straight home in my car and put it in my safe? The odds of course would go up exponentially. Does it mean that I deserved it? Of course not. Did my behavior contribute to it? Absolutely. People would tell me I was a dumbass to do that. Granted this is an extreme example, but it illustrates very well that a little bit of forethought and good judgement can prevent us from being the victim of a violent crime, sexual or not.

Comment by dr kellie on December 9, 2011 at 5:05pm

I must admit, the ad did irk me a little.

Comment by Susan Stanko on December 9, 2011 at 2:06pm

I guess, if you want to be technical, it is blaming the victim.  Doesn't make it any less true, however.  Because, I don't care how drunk you are, it doesn't mean she deserved it.


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