I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

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Replies to This Discussion

Being the oldest child of 4, it was about the time my sister arrived on the scene when I was about 4 years old that was when I decided I'd never have kids....:)
Sort of my situation too. I was the eldest of four, but five, seven, and nine years older than the others. I changed diapers when I was old enough... which may be what made me feel like I'd changed enough diapers in my life.
It has only been the last few years or so that I have decided not to have any kids.

I was interested in having one or two when I was younger (not that I am old), but I never wanted to be 45 and only then just having a kid , It is not for me. I now enjoy the extra freedom that decision has enabled me to have, my life is ultimately my own and I don't mind that. I like kids and I love my nieces to death, being an uncle is more then enough for me. Hopefully they will consider me to be the cool one once they are older.
Heh. After a certain point, I just wanted to be a doting auntie. One of the things I like about other people's kids is that they have to go back with the other people at some point.
Hmm... I guess you mean when they stop being fun. ;)

Yes I like that aspect of it as well.
I always wanted kittens rather than human babies, but unfortunately that was a biological impossibility. I live with cats now, but I don't see them as my children. I always tell people that if I'd wanted children, I would have had some.

I think it's wise to be open to the possibility of a mind change, but also wise not to feel obligated to do so.
I grew up with a daycare in our home. I have 2 younger sisters. I coached gymnastics from ages 16-27. I love coaching children and can relate to kids better than adults. I worked with kids in their accelerated reading groups at school. Baby sat for a week at a time while the parents went on ski trips. Even considered being a nanny after I stopped coaching. I like kids and I am passionate about what's good for children.
With all of that being said, I just don't want to ever have to come home to one! It's odd. I think I'd be a great parent, whether I was a single mom or married to a man or in a gay relationship. But, I don't think I need a kid to complete me. I enjoy being able to do things without having to worry about my responsibility to my child.
I'm 28 and hope to never get that "womanly urge" to have a child. It's just not rational to have a kid. I've donated my eggs 2 times (going on 3 right now!) and am satisfied that my wonderfully perfect genes are being passed on.

Wow, it never dawned on me that I could still donate my eggs even if I didn't want to have kids... I dunno tho... One of my main reasons for not having kids is that I'm screwed up ;) We still don't know how much of it is nature and how much is nurture... so I'd be afraid that I was putting a little me out into the world and people would not understand her weirdness... at least in my family we would understand ;) Anyway, I'm probably too old (35), no one wants rotten eggs!

Allison

I was 14 when I decided I didn't want children (I'm 25 now). I don't think my brother does either, so my mom is SOL on the grandchildren thing. I told her she would have grandkitties from me! :) My best friend feels the same way and I think she's felt that way as long as I have. My boyfriend feels the same way as well and neither of his siblings have or want to have children either. I feel kinda bad for my mom and his mom sometimes, I know they would like grandkids, but I'm not going to sacrifice my happiness and convictions for them.
I was very, very young; let's say about 2 or 3. I could see that my mother had to do so many things to care for me and she complained about it often, so I didn't want to be like her. ;)
As I've grown older, I think my decision of never having children has been the wisest -together with quitting my attendance to religious services.
I'd agree that not having children was a good move for me, too. I don't think I"d have made a worse parent than a lot of the people I see in public with their children, but I know my parenting wouldn't have been optimal.
Depending on what point in my life I've always fallen somewhere between "Don't have any need to procreate" to "Hell fucking no, not in a million years."

- I have zero fear of the pain of childbirth. Actually have had that twinge of what I presume to be a biological instinct to bond with an offspring like that. However...

- Call me outright lazy but I can not imagine spending every waking moment (and much of my precious sleep time) chasing after kids. I hear a child scream in a grocery store and can't imagine having to be the one to deal with that day after day. I'm convinced by the way that Wal-Mart actually plays recordings of children screaming over the P.A. It's the only reasonable explanation for frequency and volume.

- Call me outright selfish but I very much enjoy the freedom of not having someone else to be responsible for. As much as I've been looked down upon for not having/wanting kids, I know some of that has come out of suppressed jealousy.

- Even OP kids; I do alright with family and some friends' kids. But I tried babysitting a few times as a teenager and hated every second of it. I don't dislike children per se, I just don't have the Mommy gene I suppose. I instead have the Cool Aunt gene.

All that said, it's telling that the one time I was all of 8 hours late for a period (while on the pill and could set a clock by them), I didn't spend that 8 hours looking for an abortion provider, but rather I spent that 8 hours figuring out how I'd need to rearrange my life to have a child. I might well have changed my mind the next day and gone for the abortion. But I've just always found that interesting when I self-psychoanalyze.

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