I am so tired of hearing people talk about their kids and being parents.  I know this sounds lame.


But I am.


I just simply can't relate to it.


And although I know better, I still feel like society judges me so much for not being a mother or for not being married or for not even adopting/being involved with children.



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This could be taken wrong. So please don't. But I wonder why you feel that way; knowing better would mean you could dismiss the feelings and they wouldn't arise enough to be a bother. I wonder if it's a part of the environment - where do you normally hear people talk about it? Workplace, socially, a mixture, what? Also, are they more often talking about problems or positive benefits - do they tend to frame the pros, or the cons?

seems like everywhere I go someone has a child.


I honestly don't know anyone who isn't a parent right now.


Except my roommate and my bf.


I live in SD and tha'ts very military and most women here are wives and mothers.


and most women here that I talk to want children even if they cant' have them and they "try" all the time.


Sometimes, though, I think the harder they "try", the less likely they are to get pregnant.



I'm only 25, so people are still assuming that I'll change my mind in a few years. Once I'm older, I'll realise that I want a family.

LOL....yeah, that never gets any better.  At least not until you are actually physically unable to reproduce.  I'm 40 and I still get "Oh, there's still time!" I've actually had woman I work with BEG me to have "just one" kid. Yikes.  I knew I didn't want kids at 16.  Now 40...still don't want them.  I am SOOOOOOO happy with my decision.  My house is quiet, my time is mine.  And children screaming outside while playing sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me.  

I like teasing women who are jealous of my nice flat tummy.  I say: "Sure it's flat...I didn't birth no babies!!"

People seem to think that children are like some exotic food that you've never tried before. "Oh, just have one bite, you'll love it!" The difference is that if I don't like the food, I don't ever have to eat it again, whereas if I don't like the child, I can't just return him to the store for a refund.  A child is a LIFETIME commitment. It doesn't matter if you decide, after the fact, that having a child was a bad idea. It doesn't matter if the kid interferes with your plans, cramps your style, sucks up your meager income, and is generally a constant reminder of your inability to make sensible decisions. You are STUCK with him. There is no guarantee that you will "grow to love him," as your friends will no doubt tell you. The only reason they tell you to "have just ONE," is because they have put no thought into the responsibilities of having kids. They have bought into the myth that you must have kids to be happy, and that's all that matters to them.

It's understandable, when everyone around you does something you don't, or is interested in something you're not. I used to feel this way a lot when everyone I talked to was in a relationship and I was thoroughly single. I have a decent amount of friends who don't have kids, so I guess I don't feel quite so alone, but probably if I was hanging out with more "mainstream" people it would get annoying.

ty all for your posts on my thread.


I am so relieved to find others who think like me somewhat.


When I was in high school, I did take a child development class.  I was interested in sex and in how the human body worked and how families worked.


That class did help, cause they had us carry an egg and at the end of the week, I got tired of baby "Ferdinand" and buried it in the backyard.  My aunt caught me doing it and I didn't hear the end of it.  She goes, "Would you do that to a real baby, Jencarlene?"


I told her, "Of course not, but I would probably pass on the neglect and the boredom and the frustration that you and my mom took out on me when I was a baby."



I have heard of babies beign thrown in dumpsters.



Jencarlene is an unusual name. I like it. :o) Were you named after anyone?
And the people who forcefully push the baby into my arms, ignoring my protests, or press the baby's face onto mine for imposed affection... grrr

Oh, YUCK, TNT!  That is so gross.


I also remember my aunt syaing, "don't have baby, Jen.  I don't want another brat to take care of!"


I said to her, "Don't worry!  I won't."


cause I didn't want one, ever.


Not labor pain, not c-section (being cut) or dealing with a baby.



I have noticed that by choosing not to participate in such silly comments and or conversations regarding the wonders of having kids, eventually friends and aqaintances stop asking me about it. I don't hate kids, I just don't like them. Actually, several of my friends with kids seem to be pretty envious of my childlessness!




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